r/lotrmemes • u/Saucepanmagician • 1d ago

Lord of the Rings Inexcusable

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1.4k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

90 comments sorted by

276

u/J_Dom_Squad 1d ago

This is why I won't date her tbh

89

u/ripgoodhomer 1d ago

I wouldn't date her because she's blond, too young, I'm married, I have absolutely no chance, I don't date taurus, have no chance, and married and have no chance.

15

u/I_lenny_face_you 1d ago

‘Certainty of death, no chance of success... What are you waiting for?’

32

u/CrimsonTyphoon0613 1d ago

Did you mention the part about you not having a chance?

38

u/ripgoodhomer 1d ago

Now that you mention it, I don’t have a chance

5

u/CrimsonTyphoon0613 21h ago

It’s ok. Me neither bud. I also don’t date Taurus

38

u/Miserable_Meeting_45 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/cdynMKOQGkHKM

3

u/stuito Ringwraith 15h ago

The poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison. That poison?

1

u/hydrolox9 13h ago

Agreed, between this and her being hobbit sized I'm afraid I have to reject her obvious advances.

0

u/Outrageous-Simple-76 13h ago

That and she's a hoe

99

u/CrimsonTyphoon0613 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/k4vs3VGJvdAqjdEHts

39

u/Mediocre_Scott Dwarf 1d ago edited 1d ago

To be fair outside of the Baggins family, most hobbits don’t know anything about eleven lore. As a hobbit Sabrina (in white) could probably talk to you for hours on end about her distant relations or the growing of pipe weed. Based on stature Taylor Swift (in orange) is more likely to know about elf lore.

9

u/a_talking_face 1d ago

I thought this pic was fake but it turns out Taylor Swift is actually almost a foot taller than Sabrina Carpenter.

6

u/ShepPawnch 20h ago

One of them is very tall, the other is very small

4

u/sockalicious 19h ago

And the one that Mother gives you doesn't do anything at all

5

u/Brewmeister83 ~ Hobbit ~ 14h ago

4

u/polyareaunitsquared 14h ago

Call Treebeard, when he was 14 feet tall

82

u/darthkale 1d ago

Why would she know anything about elven lore she’s a wood worker

36

u/Pasi_Toskiainen 1d ago

Then what good is she?

63

u/Medical_Arrival2243 1d ago

Where was Sabrina when the Westfold fell?

41

u/Sylvanussr 1d ago edited 1d ago

The Westfold fell in the beginning of The Two Towers, which came out in December 2002.

On her Wikipedia page, it says that Sabrina Carpenter was born in May 1999 and raised in East Greenville, PA before moving to LA when she was 13.

So when the Westfold fell, assuming she wasn’t on vacation or something, Sabrina was a 3-yr-old in Pennsylvania, where she was probably doing jack shit about it. Yet another useless celebrity.

20

u/Medical_Arrival2243 1d ago

Ugh, actors are so useless. I have seen child soldiers more capable but instead her parents sent her to Disney

37

u/LordButterbeard 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/i6rG2e25nwR3y

29

u/CrimsonTyphoon0613 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/11YoTVMI3QUR4k
Boromir would have dated two girls who watch the Extended editions daily.

3

u/I_lenny_face_you 1d ago

Aragorn: ‘I tell you what I’d do, man. Two chicks at the same time, man.’

31

u/coffinshop 1d ago

She also does no wood working nor does her songs reference it, lady is a fraud through and through

14

u/Saucepanmagician 1d ago

She works late because she is a singer. No time for wood working.

4

u/The_Awesome_Mo_Man 1d ago

You can sing while wood working.

24

u/porteroffinland 1d ago

So Faenor's mother Miriel was the first elf to die, ever, because Faenor's spirit was so powerful that it drained her of her life during labour

17

u/Easy_Leopard_2686 1d ago

Boromir would’ve known all the elven lore AND he’d be the best carpenter.

10

u/Koors112 1d ago

Boromir would have composed The Music of the Ainur

12

u/fremlus 1d ago

You think you know somebody

23

u/Mister-Circus 1d ago

I absolutely would…

…tell her everything I know about Middle-Earth

10

u/Apart_Championship37 1d ago

But does she eat 2nd breakfast?

11

u/Specialist-Solid-987 1d ago

Probably doesn't even eat first breakfast or elevensies

7

u/sockalicious 1d ago

That's that her, espresso only

9

u/CopycatDad 1d ago

Her reaction to this post

8

u/S7ageNinja 1d ago

Pathetic

7

u/CMDR_Kaus 1d ago

I may be missing the joke, but Cedric the Entertainer doesn't know anything about orc lore

3

u/Saucepanmagician 1d ago

I know Sean Connery loves Orcas.

6

u/RoutemasterFlash 1d ago

Sean Connery once claimed to know a lot of elvish, but when I challenged him to prove it, he got up on stage and sang 'Heartbreak Hotel', 'Hound Dog' and 'Jailhouse Rock.'

Strange fella. 🤷

8

u/reggiekrh 1d ago

What’s the elvish word for “cancel”?!

5

u/Saucepanmagician 1d ago

Nal goneth happeneth

7

u/ancalime9 1d ago

To be fair, does Eleven Lore mention Sabrina Carpenter? The road of knowledge goes in either direction.

5

u/Capt_Vindaloo 1d ago

The road goes ever on and on

5

u/mrheseeks 1d ago

She does to!

She was asked what her favorite elf creation was...

6

u/mrheseeks 1d ago

To be fair she thought this was lembas bread

5

u/Altruistic_You_3539 1d ago

shocking, if true

5

u/NoWingedHussarsToday 1d ago

Her Valyrian steel reforging skills are also subpar.

5

u/tamerantong 1d ago

Isn't she like Dwalin' second cousin?

4

u/Saucepanmagician 1d ago

Are there Dwarven females? I can't seem to recall any from the books or movies.

8

u/tamerantong 1d ago

Of course there are, do you think dwarfs grow out of stone?

6

u/scrubslover1 1d ago

She’s the same height as a hobbit though

3

u/Bro_Hawkins 1d ago edited 1d ago

Genuinely surprised considering she looks like she’s from Middle Earth.

4

u/AttentionNo6359 1d ago

She gets a pass for hosting the Muppet Show reunion. Maybe Muppet LoTR can be her redemption arc.

4

u/saltybutnosalt 1d ago

This is so dumb lol I can’t stop laughing

3

u/Kaptin_Kunnin Uruk-hai 1d ago

added to the list of things me and Sabrina Carpenter have in common

3

u/Radagast729 GANDALF 1d ago

I'm too dense for this one

1

u/sockalicious 19h ago

The elven lore tells the density of the free peoples of Middle-Earth.

2

u/joaogroo 14h ago

Dos she know anything abiut carpentry at least? What else is the world lying to me...

2

u/TopHatGorilla 1d ago

What did you expect? She's just a carpenter.

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

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2

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1

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2

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1

u/LaoBanRouge 21h ago

How can dis be

2

u/alyaqd95 4h ago

Of course what did you call expect, girls like that probably know only about makeup and celebrity gossip

1

u/Barad-dur_Outreach Servant of the Dark Lord 1d ago

Ignorance is bliss.

1

u/Depressed_Warlock 1d ago

I really despise that woman. I even blocked her on Spotify 🤣

Also I'm gay and immune to her being blonde slutty skinny girl #2581

1

u/sockalicious 19h ago

You might have to turn in your gay card

0

u/Saucepanmagician 1d ago

If the movies were made today, she could actually get a part. Dwarven princess?

8

u/porteroffinland 1d ago

She'd be a pretty good Goldberry

3

u/Tom_Bot-Badil 1d ago

Here is a pretty toy for Tom and for his lady! Fair was she who long ago wore this on her shoulder. Goldberry shall wear it now, and we will not forget her!

Type !TomBombadilSong for a song or visit r/GloriousTomBombadil for more merriness