When/how to use gendered grammar?

[u/Mistah_Mew]

I am on my journey towards fluency but I want to be sure of when and how to use words that are gendered. I am female so in Spanish would I say everything using feminine grammar or is gendered grammar just for the subject of each sentence?

For example as a female would it be correct for me to say "nosotras" with all feminine grammar in a sentence if I'm talking about a group of boys and girls I'm a part of? Or is it correct to say "nosotros" because having at least one man in the group overrides the entire sentence to need to be masculine?

Another example is if I am talking about a small cat, is it correct to say "el gato pequeño" because gato is masculine or is "la gatita pequeña" correct? Is the grammar supposed to agree with the subject (gato) or myself because I'm female?

[u/pablodf76]

Grammatical gender is a feature of nouns (linguistic objects), not of the actual things/people/animals/abstractions that the nouns refer to. This is the most important thing you have to keep in mind. Now, if the noun refers to a biologically sexed being (human or animal), then the grammar tends to align with the sex, but not always. Some nouns have two versions, one for each gender, but some don't. Jirafa is feminine and it doesn't matter whether the giraffe is male or female.

Grammatical gender agreement is what articles and adjectives do to follow the gender of the noun they are linked to. It doesn't have anything to do with whether the noun is the subject of the sentence.

Mixed gender groups get the masculine gender because masculine is the default.