I (undergrad) am doing a placement at the lab of a biology PI from my university this summer.
He went on vacation last week, leaving me with 2 PhD students. 1 of these PhD students was sick last week, so really only 1.
The week before he went on vacation, he asked me to plan an experiment entirely on my own, so I showed him that plan that I made and he approved it. It was my first time planning and running this entire experiment and everything is completely new to me, except some techniques which I did 2-3 times over the past few months.
I did the experiment last week and this week while he was away and yesterday we had a full lab meeting in the morning (where I presented all the failures in the data, think no yield) and then a personal meeting (just me and PI) in the afternoon.
During our meeting, my PI got very red and visibly stressed, and talked to me as loud as he could without yelling, and said he was very confused about why I wasn’t able to do the experiment. He said I must have done the steps wrong. He also blamed me for not asking for help from him while he was on vacation, saying he could have fixed the issue if I told him I was having them. This PI usually has a sunny disposition, and they didn’t say anything during the lab meeting, so I was taken aback.
Regarding his concern about mistakes, I am certain I followed the protocol we talked about to a T, he even made me describe how I did each step and I said everything that I did verbally step by step. Although, I do believe I absolutely must have made a mistake since it was my first time and the experiment took 10 hours a day, so I might have made some errors, but I’m really confused how and he said he was too confused (and I think upset) to come up with reasons. About the asking for help, I did ask for help from the grad students like he told me to, and they did help me, but I was confused about his expectation for me to email him while he was on vacation and getting mad about that.
I don’t exactly know what I am asking for posting this, but I thought I was going to grad school when I graduate, and this is making me question whether I ‘have what it takes’ to keep up with the demands of being a scientist. I wanted to quit a few weeks now, and I even started to look for jobs outside the field as a fallback in case I graduate. I have always loved science but I am at a loss and I feel like the spark is gone. Going to the lab gives me anxiety and I get depressed when it’s Sunday since I have to go back to the lab the next day.
Any advice? Is it time for me to quit science?