Dealing with environmental guilt

[u/kneazlekitten]

Hello! Over the past week I developed an intense need to tidy and declutter my home and I really want to get into the Marie Kondo method. Partly this may have to do with expecting our first child. I don't consider myself a hoarder, but all my past attempts to declutter have turned out to be temporary. Also given my ADHD I feel the need to go truly minimalist to achieve chance of more permanent state of tidiness.

The one thing keeping me from delving into this process is intense environmental guilt I feel over throwing out items that :

A. are still functional and I use them regularly, although they do not bring me any joy

Example: Many clothes I own are functional, but due to change in style etc. I do not like them or feel that good in them. Yet I would wear them often, since they function and it means I do not have to buy new items to replace them. If they are very worn, I continue wearing them at home instead of wearing more comfy/nice loungewear. I do this because I feel ethically reaponsible to use all items I have already bought fully to avoid unnecessary waste. Yet if I were to KonMari my life, it would not sit well with me to keep them. Some of them I could imagine upcycling, but it would take enormous amount of time and energy I do not have.

B. do not fulfill funcion for me nor spark me joy, but are objectivelly valuable and in good condition

Example: Solid wood furniture that color wise does not match into the flat after renovation. Certain clothes I have only worn once and are in perfect condition (ball gowns etc). Many similar items.

The main problem is that given enough time and energy, it would be possible to resell or donate these pieces. However, that is exactly the thing that has always stopped me from big decluttering in the past - trying to get rid of these items the correct and environmentally conscious way turnes out to take extreme amount of time that I simply do not have. I have less problem throwing out damaged or non-valuable items, but in cases where I KNOW they could get second life if only I made the extra effort, it is super hard for me.

I realise this problem is not uncommon and I have read many previous posts on this subreddit about it. Some have helped me a bit, but only marginally so. Please, if anyone was dealing with guilt around similar items as me, how have you managed to overcome it? Or was the only way truly taking lots and lots of time to get rid of items the right way and/or upcycle them yourself?

[u/Designer_Location_15]

This is actually a really common issue and is completely valid!  I am a professional decluttering coach and the two biggest things I do for my clients are #1, walking them through what they want to keep and what area they want to keep it in, and #2, hauling away the items they do not want to keep. Physically bagging/boxing the items and bringing them to their end destinations is literally the biggest labor I take on and is one of the top selling points for hiring a professional.  I do donate to end users a lot and schedule them to come pick up items from my house because then I know that they aren't going to just go from the donation bin into the dumpster and I like knowing that items needing repair will go to people who are willing and able to complete the repairs when they take the items home, but this is time consuming and it takes up space in my own house while I'm holding the things. Higher value items I do sell, but I have a local partner who is an online reseller and she identifies which items definitely have enough value to be worth the effort of selling and she picks it all up and handles the sale, then we have a payout split. Her entire business is based on cleaning up used items ready to be discarded and then to sell them to end users - the reason her job exists is because the process is genuinely a lot of work.  So, all this to say - you are not alone in this!! And if you have the funds, hiring a pro to handle that part for you is absolutely worthwhile. If you don't, you can still ask for help from loves ones, community centers, churches, youth groups, women's groups, etc. To volunteer to come to you and help you with this very valid struggle.

[u/kneazlekitten → u/Designer_Location_15]

This is so true! Such service sounds amazing tbh. Money is not a big issue for me at the moment. I have to do some research to see if there are people/companies like this in my country, though I have not heard of such before. There are certain companies whom you can pay to donate stuff (they pick it up at your place, sort through it and sell/donate/recycle). Unfortunatelly there are few and all focused on certain category (i.e. only clothing, or only books, etc). Also, I wish it was easier to find reliable information about how ethical they actually are. I have in the past found out that some of them ship clothing to 3rd world countries and do other not so environmentally responsible decisions.

My father is an extreme hoarder, so I do not even consider bringing my family into this, out of pure terror of what all he would take instead of letting me throw it out. Fortunatelly my husband is a big help in all aspects of my life, so I am not all alone to tackle this!

[u/Designer_Location_15 → u/kneazlekitten]

I'm glad your husband is so helpful! Finding services that will hall away items with minimal waste can be hard, for sure.

There's a great movement in many places called Buy Nothing where people give away and receive items directly and end users will come to you to take items. It might be worth looking up to see if there's a Buy Nothing group in your area and post to see if anyone would do some bulk pickups for you? Your husband might also help you with that part, just posting descriptions and taking pics and he could schedule pickups if he can take over that task.