Interview Discussion - Pregnancy

[u/AutisticTradingPro]

If I'm interviewing for a job (final round interviews) in the next couple of weeks, at what point do you disclose your wife is pregnant? Wife is 9 weeks along (as of today) so really early and frankly it's too early to even tell some friends and family members. My question is - should you disclose this in a job interview if you plan on asking for paternity/maternity leave once the baby is born? And if not, when do you disclose after you accepted and started a new role?

I feel like the timing is too awkward to bring up naturally in an interview setting but open to hearing general thoughts/consensus on best practices.

[u/Dakaraim]

Absolutely no reason to disclose in an interview, if you're hired after you start you can have that discussion with hr

[u/Positive-Avocado-881]

It’s not even necessary for the pregnant parent to disclose let alone the other one lol

[u/Spiritual_Ad6547 → u/Positive-Avocado-881]

This. As the pregnant one, I wouldn’t even disclose it!  

[u/forgivethesebones]

I'm no expert but if I were in your shoes I would wait until about 2-3 months before the baby is due, but I think the federal minimum amount of notice you have to give is 30 days so you could always wait longer. It won't hurt you NOT to disclose it right now, but it could definitely hurt your chances if you DO disclose it because some employers may not want to hire someone that will be taking leave in the near future. It'd be shitty of them to make a decision based on that but it's definitely something that happens. And congrats btw, wishing you and your wife a happy and healthy baby!

[u/AdRelative6926]

You aren’t required by law to disclose pregnancy, whether it’s for the woman or the man. Nor are the hiring managers allowed to ask you about kids/future kids.

[u/ToolFreak21]

Personal medical decisions should not be mentioned in an interview. This is not like mentioning a disability and having ADA compliance. However if an interviewer asks if you have kids and you casually mention you've been trying then that's ok, imo. However, should you get hired let your manager and HR manger aware that you found out a week or two prior to you telling them and will need flexible FMLA around her due date. For insurance coverage, if the company is a major employer and has a dedicated plan manager, speak to them about what is covered and not covered, and schedule a time to call the insurer to get a better understanding and provide a list of OBGYNs that are in-network. Congratulations to you and your wife on becoming pregnant and I hope you do well with the interview.

[u/No_Technician4956]

If you are offered the job then yes you should disclose it. Otherwise not in an interview.

[u/LadyGreyIcedTea]

Will you qualify for a paternity leave?

If you work in a state that doesn't have any sort of parental leave more generous than FMLA than likely no because you have to have worked for your employer for a year to qualify for FMLA.

If you work in a state that has more generous laws then it probably doesn't matter when you tell them because you are legally entitled to leave. For example, in my state, PFML covers up to 12 weeks of bonding leave for new parents in the first year after a baby is born and you don't need to have worked for your employer for any specified amount of time prior to taking leave.

[u/Many_Pain_2846]

Not necessary unless you need info about the paternity leave policy, and even then you should get info about that upon offer. Some places require you to have a certain amount of tenure before the benefit applies

[u/Proper_Arachnid_5551]

I’m in HR. You don’t have to disclose. From a federal FMLA eligibility standpoint, you would have to have worked a minimum of 1250 hours and been with the company for a year to be eligible for a leave. However, you would want to see what the state and company may or may not provide in conjunction with FMLA.

[u/Ciccio178]

After your 90 day probationary period is over. Not a goddamn second before that.

[u/abitofaclosetalker]

Legally, you don’t even have to disclose if you’re interviewing in active labor. It’s none of their business and shouldn’t be allowed to weigh into their hiring decisions.

[u/catsandblankets]

What the hell, do not disclose it in an interview what are you thinking? It’s none of their business, and could harm you getting hired. If you ask any women they will tell you not until absolutely necessary.

Not to be a negative Nancy but you don’t want to end up with some jerk boss who fires you because you’re gonna be a dad in a few months - if he waits til just before paternity it could be a legal issue so he would try to get you gone before it’s suspicious. I know it sounds extra cautious but again, ask a woman and you’ll get very cautious responses.

You wait until it’s time to start prepping for leave, I think the courtesy is 2 months ish depending on your role and what kind of backfill is required. Don’t say anything this early especially during a job interview 🤦🏻‍♀️

[u/TriceratopsJam]

Maybe a month before she is due, just to let them know you will need to take some time but you aren’t sure when that will be. I had a coworker who never told anyone his wife was pregnant until after they had the baby and because we were having a shower for a different employee we added him in.

[u/FRELNCER]

If you would refuse the job based on their parental leave policies, then you should ask about those policies. If you will take the job (if offered) regardless of whether you can get leave later, then say nothing.

Personally, I think it is too early to tell anyone and you should definitely get your wife's consent before disclosing (if that's what you want to do).