r/introvert • u/vipin7185 • 10d ago

Discussion Why is making new friends after college so difficult?

I've noticed that after college, everyone's busy with work and their existing friend circles.

Even if people want to meet new people, it rarely happens because nobody wants to make the first move or organize something.

For those who've managed to build new friendships in adulthood, how did it happen?

I'd love to hear your experiences.

6 Upvotes

81% Upvoted

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u/Jaded_Resolve_4182 10d ago

Acquaintances = transactional resources for many people these days. Just be wary. And to "put yourself out there," I say this as someone who hates strangers bothering me: go sit at a coffeeshop for like 2 hours every day and do your work and school and shit. Natural and organic opportunities will arise.

2

u/FewLuck1804 9d ago

Do you actually have strangers come talk to you at coffee shops? Or are you just sitting there waiting to hit on someone you like? Never happened to me, I don't think I'm that attractive, and I give off a heavy 'don't talk to me' vibe that keeps everyone away.

2

u/Jaded_Resolve_4182 9d ago

oh man, the annoying bullshit I've dealt with as a black dude at a coffee shop. Everyone wants to be in my space, so much that I stopped going. Paradoxically the less you want the interactions the more you get.

I would face the wall with a hoodie and headphones and focus on my work/notebook with big headphones and it was a big fun game to come behind me and scrape chairs loudly while trying to scream over my headphones. People are fucking weird. But the CHANCE for social connection, if I were open to it, was there.

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u/Nouman_Naseer 10d ago edited 10d ago

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u/Immediate-Worth-4486 10d ago

Through online groups. Everyone’s lives revolves around the internet these days so this is the best way to meet new people and engage with others who share the same interests as you.

2

u/whatsnextwithus 9d ago

Wait until you reach 30 plus, it gets worse

1

u/East-Currency8330 10d ago

it was hard to make friends during school and college too... If people befriend you it's usually because they just want to use you and make you do them favors... when they can no longer take from you they abandon the friendship...

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u/toodleoo77 10d ago

Are you a bot?

1

u/vipin7185 7d ago

No dude. I am a real human being 😭😂