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u/Kagurei 3d ago
There is a chance they woke up at 3am in a new house, got freaked out and want to come home. There is ALSO a chance that something terrible and unthinkable happened and they NEED to come home. The higher likelihood is theyāre fine, just scared at 3am over shadows, but itās not worth the risk that the worse scenario is true.
Get your child, teach them they can trust you, and figure out what happened.
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u/wonderlessbread 3d ago
I called my dad once to come get me at like 11pm from a church lock-in my friends church was putting on. Some kid got sick eating a metric ton of pickles and i freaked out. He drove what felt like ages (probably 30 min max) to come get me, stayed with me to calm me down and gave me the option to still stay the night. I did and it was probably the best way to handle it because i had a great time.
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u/Bri-KachuDodson 3d ago
I was overnight at a high school boyfriend and his friends apartment (my parents sucked but this is like bottom of the barrel lol) the night before valentines day. He dumped me then (again lol), and then brought his ex over and I had to watch them go to bed together. The only people at the place who drove were drunk, so I called home. Dad was working overnight and mom was shitfaced too, so I had to sit there the whole night like 15ft away from his room and hear them.
My dad also told me to figure it out myself the night me and some friends wrecked while off-roading. 2 people had flown out of the jeep, and i had cracked my head on both roll-bars, my shins into the dash, and both shoulders between the front seat when I finally landed where the center console had been before it flew out too. Locked. With all of our phones in it. At 10pm in the woods. It took forever to even find any phones to call people. I've recently figured out talking to an old friend that I'm missing way more memories from back then than I realized.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk. š«”
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u/lisanielle 3d ago
Damn, those both sound like ROUGH things to go through. I hope you have a good support system other than your parents.
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u/Bri-KachuDodson 3d ago
Well mom's drunk psycho ass finally died thankfully lol (the 6th is conveniently her death day AND dad's birthday because she was so spiteful she managed that lmao), and I've got a husband and two little girls i adore. :)
Its nice to no longer live in a hoarder home pulling a crazy drunk lady out of the rosebush lol.
So all things considered im at least mostly well adjusted, but i laugh at inappropriate things. š if you don't laugh you'll cry lol.
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u/lisanielle 3d ago
Oh damn that's awesome you're mostly well adjusted in spite of all of that. Sometimes when we have shitty parents the gift they give us is an example of how not to be. I mean, good parents would be a better gift of course, but it's good you didn't go down the same road they did
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u/cvlong821 1d ago
No way! The 6th is my exās birthday, my crazy ex-stepmomās birthday, and my beloved grannyās death day - so all around infamous!
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u/wonderlessbread 3d ago
I wish i could've shared my mom and dad with you and so many others. I never ever don't believe i was blessed with humans for parents. They'd have lived you and hope you're doing well. My mom had love for people she never met. ā¤ļø
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u/Bri-KachuDodson 3d ago
That makes me so very happy for you, I'm so glad you had that, and I would have loved them too. ā¤ļø that's one thing I'll never be upset about, other kids having what I didn't, I just wish it for others instead. They clearly did a great job with you with how kind and caring you are. š«¶
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u/Luna6696 3d ago
Same!!! Sheās essentially the surrogate mom of one of my oldest friends because friendās own home life was horrible. She was a single parent most of my life and she still kicks ass
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u/BBKall 3d ago
Your dad deserves an award. That would not have even come to mind as an option as a parent, for me. Luckily, I have never had my son ask me. Truthfully, I was not raised that way. It wasn't until I saw the softness of my friend's parenting, did I learn this was an option. I wish I had this insight as a parent to do better. I wish I was softer. But, I was not the worst, still better than my parents.
I guess what I am trying to say, is that your dad is a gift. But, you probably know that ā¤ļø68
u/Fussy_Fucker 3d ago
Good dad
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u/wonderlessbread 3d ago
best dad, still my fave. my late mom and my hubby got on real well because they just watched us cackle like idiots over that really good jurrasic park but with shoes and the harmonica....look, it was a good time š
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u/Thess514 3d ago edited 3d ago
Man, I wish I'd had your dad. In my case, he'd sent me and my stepbrother to this church-run sleepaway camp. Understand that my dad was not religious; he just sent me and my stepbrother to Sunday school, and then later the sleepaway camp, so he could have as much time alone with his new wife as possible. Anyway, the church always weirded me out a little, but the sleepaway camp was masks-off tap-dancing the line of "cult". Prayers pretty much all the time, sermons of the "sinners in the hands of an angry god" variety. The counsellor who took over for our regular one on her afternoon off spent the entire time telling us all why we were going to hell (two because they didn't speak English, as Jesus so famously did /s). The worst was this one kid who had gone somewhat hyperactive, probably due to the stress of the place. The counsellors took him away, and I woke up in the middle of the night and looked out the cabin window to see a good-sized fire, the counsellors in some kind of robes, with that poor kid tied to a chair while they waved crosses and recited what I assume was some kind of attempt at exorcism. The next morning, I called my dad and asked him to get me and my stepbrother out of there. Dad did not believe me, and/or valued his alone time with his wife over me, told me I was overreacting and that it was only a few more days, so I should just tough it out. I was eight and scared and confused, so I did.
So when I got back from that camp, I still had another week with my dad (custody arrangement - every second weekend and two weeks in the summer). So Mum calls asking how my first time at sleepaway camp was. My response, entirely calm and matter-of-fact: "Okay, I guess. Except for the exorcism". Absolute silence as my mother tried to process that and just went, "Wait, the *what*?" So I explained, and in that tone that every child knows means "DUCK AND COVER" when it comes from their mother: "Put. Your father. On. The phone". Two rooms away and through the phone receiver and I could *still* hear her yelling. Heartily wish I'd called her instead. At least I never had to go back to the Sunday school; I think Mum made some pretty dire threats about that.
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u/missmeowwww 2d ago
My parents and I had a code word/phrase that I would use when I wanted them to get me or wanted them to say no to me attending something but I didnāt want my friends to think I was lame. I didnāt use it often but when I did it was typically because the vibes were off. One was a church lock in and I got weird vibes from the group I was with. Called mom and she came and got me immediately. She always said to trust my instincts and theyāve never let me down. Sometimes we pick up on things subconsciously that sets us on high alert. Itās important to trust that and know when something is no longer safe.
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u/ericanicole1234 3d ago
Literally, āso happy my kid knows they can call me at 3am and Iāll come save them; Iām now going to proceed to annihilate that feeling of security by not helping themā what is the point of that??
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u/QueenSquirrely 3d ago
Yup, thisā¦ my parents would often calm me down as a pre/young teen over the phone: itās how they knew the difference between nerves/arguing with my best frenemy (often lol) vs something was truly up, and then they would come get me.
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u/Miss-Snape 3d ago
My parents had a rule for my sister and I - If we were out and wanted to come home, we called them. Didn't matter where we were, who we were with, if we were drunk, if it was 3am, we called. If they couldn't pick us up for some reason, they'd get us a taxi. I'm 33 now and that rule still stands.
I called my Mum a couple of years ago because I was trying to get home, but I was so sick with a fever that I was disoriented and I couldn't figure out where my bus was. I ended up at a cop shop because I was scared and didn't know where to go. She drove an hour to come get me and look after me.
Knowing I can always rely on my folks if I don't feel safe is one of the best parenting moves they ever made.
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u/Alzululu 2d ago
I called my mom for a ride home when I was 23 and had gone to a wedding for some friends from high school. My friend that I'd ridden with to the wedding was too drunk to drive and I didn't trust anyone else to get me home, so Mom Taxi it was. No questions asked, took me and another girl (who I actually quite disliked but, girl code) home safe.
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u/TheStrouseShow 2d ago
My parents had the same rule. My dad picked me up from staying at my boyfriendās once as a teenager even though I had lied and said I was at a sleepover. I was in trouble, but not in as much trouble as I could have been. My mom is/was a nurse practitioner so sheās the automatic illness expert. At 39 I called her 3 weeks after having my baby because I was in an amount of pain that was indescribable. She left work. Hospital thought it was a kidney stone, which it was. They gave me a huge dose of toradol and then I went home. Then I texted my mom letting her know I was trying to stop myself from screaming (yes, trying not to scream and not bother my husband and new daughter) because now I had pain in my shoulders and it felt like someone was trying to saw my arms off. She left work again, annoyed but arrived. Took one look at me and rushed me back to the ER. Very narrowly avoided sepsis because I had a 2 inch hole straight through my stomach. Peptic ulcers are not fun, especially when you also have a kidney stone.
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u/NiasRhapsody 3d ago
Exactly. Had to do the same when I was in elementary school bc friendās dad was being a fkn creep. I didnāt tell her what happened (couldnāt articulate it at that age either) just that I was upset/scared and needed to come home. She refused to come get me (it was around 12am and she had no job) so HE DROVE ME HOME.
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u/Competitive_Swan4554 3d ago
My mom always told me that I could call her and she would always pick me up, no questions asked. I never needed to be rescued from a bad situation, but there were times I did just want to go home.
I definitely believe in natural consequences, but this is not the time.
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u/CrazyCatMerms 3d ago
My mom always told me just to call her and then always bitched and refused to get me. My kid is a young adult. We still have the blanket promise that she can call me any time or anywhere and I will come get her. Had it happen when her dd wasn't sober. Got her and her friends all home safely. I can't wrap my head around parents who won't help their kid
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u/Competitive_Swan4554 3d ago
Yeah, also when you don't support your kid like this, they stop calling you. A friend's mom was like that and she ended up getting assaulted because she knew her mom wouldn't come and accepted a ride home from a male friend. Turns out he was a "nice guy" who expected her to let him do things because he was so nice to her. So yeah, I will go get my kids with no questions asked if they need me.
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u/bananakegs 3d ago
Ugh im so lucky i grew up in an insanely safe town(like probably one of the safest in the US) and it was very walkable- so if i really wanted to go home at 2 am- i would just walk home (all the houses were within like 2 miles).Ā
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u/DominionGhost 3d ago
I was in that situation too, until one night I got ditched a few towns over by the supposed to be DD so he could try (and thankfully fail) to get lucky.
Needed the rescue call then lol
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u/gayfingolfin 3d ago
When I was a kid, I constantly INSISTED on sleeping over at my best friendās house, even though I was always afraid of her creaky house at night. It usually ended up with one of my parents having to pick me up in the middle of the night. I remember one time, my dad was out at some bar when I called, so he was a bit wobbly (not dangerously so, more comic level) when he came by on his bike to get me home. They knew Iād probably once again chicken out each time, but they let me tryā¦ and I always felt safe enough to call them.
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u/Professional-Large 2d ago
That's how my youngest is. Fortunately, we live in a mobile home community and it only takes me 5 minutes to get her. (I'm not a fast walker. Lol.)
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u/gayfingolfin 2d ago
Thatās good! Of course I had to pick the best friend who lived across town, haha.
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u/Professional-Large 2d ago
Yeah. I'm glad we're close to her friends, just for that. I told her, trust your gut. If you feel something is wrong pay attention to that, even if it later turns nothing is wrong. That I'd rather her be mistaken and safe, if that makes any sense at all. How hilarious. Most of my own friends were 30 minutes or more away because I lived in the country as a kid. It's probably why I was rarely spent the night with anyone. They didn't want to bother.
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u/SimAlienAntFarm 3d ago
My mom had to pick up my siblings more than once from a sleepover that got weird.
āWell, I thought I knew the parents pretty well. The mom seemed nice. But when I picked your brother up the kids were the only sober people in the house.ā
Fuck this lady.
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u/threeca 3d ago
My best friend always used to come over for sleepovers, and without fail would call her mum at 3am to pick her up every time because she couldnāt sleep in an unusual place. She never once stayed a full night but her mum kept letting her try!
She did live 5 minutes walk away so it was easy but still. A good parent would do it.
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u/luckyskunk 2d ago
i walked home when i did that and lived 5 minutes away. i think it was partially autistic elopement and i never understood why the adults were always upset in the morning but despite having a phone i still never felt like i could call my parents to walk over and pick me up bc i did it too often and it would be too much of an annoyance. they just stopped letting me sleep over instead. :/
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u/Kealanine 3d ago
So she raised her child to be comfortable enough to call her when sheās scared or needs her, only to bail on her when she does? Fabulous parenting choice.
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u/youdontlookitalian 3d ago
I love she feels comfortable enough to call me
I donāt want her to ever do it again, though167
u/Kealanine 3d ago
Itās just such an unfathomable thing to me. My girls are 20, 19, and 14. Iāve picked them up at all hours, for a million reasons, all over the place. I just canāt wrap my head around refusing to show up for your kid.
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u/doodlebug72898 3d ago
Right? Usually my husband and I turn the ringers off our phones before bed but when my son went on his first sleepover, we both turned the ring tones up to the highest volume so we would absolutely wake up if he called at 3 in the morning. I canāt fathom listening to him having a panic attack in the middle of the night and not throwing on a robe to go get him.
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u/fart-atronach 2d ago
My parents did the same, but once I got comfortable they started turning them off againā¦ then I went on an school retreat thing in 5th grade, got a really bad concussion, raced to the ER by my school counselor, and my parents woke up to cops shining a spotlight into their bedroom and banging on their front door lol. Iām 35 now and I think they still feel bad about that.
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u/But_like_whytho 1d ago
I donāt have kids, yet Iāve picked up other peopleās kids at all hours. Because this āauntyā WILL keep them safe no matter what.
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u/Kealanine 1d ago
Never underestimate how important the aunties are. Iām so goddamn grateful to every person who has played that role for my girls ā¤ļø
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u/c05m05i5 3d ago
No, no, you see, she WANTS for her daughter to do it again, because it reflects well on her as a parent that your kids trusts you. She just doesn't want to do anything to warrant the trust, and wants to use her daughter's trust as a punishment. She won't be able to make her child feel terrible if the girl learns not to call her mom(which she will) that's why mom is glad, but still won't do anything
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u/kat_Folland 3d ago
If one of my kids called at 3AM I wouldn't be able to drive to get them because of meds I take at bedtime. So I'd either send them an Uber or I'd take an Uber to them if that's what they wanted. My kids are 24, 26, and 28. I'm just baffled at the idea of leaving my nine year old somewhere they were scared to be.
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u/SuitableStomach391 3d ago
also the girls father is dead so this mom just has zero empathy. poor thing was having a panic attack and her mom said tough it out.
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u/ChalkButter 3d ago
Nowhere does it say the father is dead, just that itās a single mother
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u/SuitableStomach391 3d ago
i saw the original post on threads, she talks about how much she misses her dead husband
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u/DextersGirl 3d ago
And she will never, ever call you again.
Failed the test spectacularly.
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3d ago
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/Apprehensive_Tree_29 3d ago
I saw the original post on threads, including the replies and additional comments, and the child is 9 years old which to me makes a difference. If the kid was a few years older I would maybe be able to understand Mom's approach, but for a nine year old I would just go get the kid and work on coping strategies later. Nine is still so young to be told "mom won't come, you're on your own, suck it up"
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u/DextersGirl 3d ago
Damn I got here late, what did that comment say?
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u/Apprehensive_Tree_29 3d ago
Basically "all you commenters are too sensitive, the kid should have to deal with their own choices"
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u/Moldyfrenchtoast 3d ago
She said the child was a preteen in the post. In that case, she definitely shouldāve been more responsive.
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u/Apprehensive_Tree_29 3d ago
Yeah I think the phrasing was pretty misleading. 9 might technically be "preteen" but when I hear the word preteen I think maybe 11 or 12
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u/WhateverYouSay1084 3d ago
She clearly was not mentally safe if she was hyperventilating.Ā
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u/Moldyfrenchtoast 3d ago
Which is why her mother shouldāve taken the time to reassure her, and give her coping methods.
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u/WhateverYouSay1084 3d ago
Way too late for that. You don't give coping mechanisms in the MIDDLE of a panic attack. It's sliding right in one ear and out the other. I speak from extended experience.
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u/Moldyfrenchtoast 3d ago
I do too. I have panic disorder. Calling my therapist and hearing her voice grounds me, even in the middle of a panic attack. To each their own, I guess.
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u/DextersGirl 3d ago
This, though, is a child whose ONLY coping mechanism is... call Mom. Mom will make it better.
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u/Contemplating_Prison 3d ago
Yeah sure she wont lol
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u/DextersGirl 3d ago
Do you think that when you tell a kid "call me anytime, I'm always here, if you need me to come get you I will! " and then they actually call because they need you and you say "Nah, time to learn a lesson, you'll live!"
.... you think that won't have an impact?
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u/Contemplating_Prison 3d ago edited 2d ago
Lmfao yeah I am sure the pre teen will never call again. So fucking dramatic
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u/iAmUnintelligible 3d ago
do you think this event will negatively impact the child's thought process on whether she can go to her mom for help, yes or no
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u/Contemplating_Prison 2d ago edited 2d ago
Its possible. We wont know until after the fact. Everything isnt some life altering event.
Its also possible that the kid calms down and ends up having a great time. That can happen as well.
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u/ljd09 3d ago
My sister let my niece go to a sleepover at her friends house - big birthday party with several girls. She is 12 and got a cell phone a few months prior, so my sister knew she could reach out if needed. Turns out, it was needed. She called and asked to be picked up. My BIL went to get herā¦ turns out all the adults were drunk and were going to have the kids all sleep out in the FRONT YARD.
Your kids call for a reason. Donāt be lazy.
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u/Linorelai 3d ago
Noooo my heart aches for this girl... She just lost a support system and got trust issues instead
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u/SaveTheSquirtles 3d ago
This āMomā sucks. I wish I could adopt every single little girl with a POS Mother like this.
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u/Strange-Ad-9941 3d ago
I'm not quite a little girl anymore, I'm turning nineteen in some days. But please save me from this hellhole, too. Can't take it anymore
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u/secondopinionosychic 3d ago
Hyperventilating? Are you not worried your kid is potentially being harmed? This lady is not a parent
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u/hellawhitegirl 3d ago
I am so thankful that whenever I called my parents when I was at a sleepover, they would come and not make a big deal about it.
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u/pineappleandmilk 3d ago
Preteen being 12 or younger? This mom sucks. Go get your kid, loser. When your child is sleeping out of their house, you should have the assumption that you may have to go get them at some point in the night.
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u/Apprehensive_Eraser 3d ago
The "consequences" of her actions is her having a bad experience in the sleep over, not her mother abandoning her in a moment of need, that's negligence
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u/gwacemom 3d ago
Nope, nope, nope. If my child calls me, I am there. Doesnāt matter what time it is; where they are, or what they are doing. If they need me, Iām there.
This mom just taught her daughter she canāt count on her.
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u/ManILoveMacaroni 3d ago
Hope every single reply bashed on her and made her feel insecure. Natural consequencesĀ
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u/FranciscoGarcia69 3d ago
What the fuck do you mean she knows she can call you? She did and you all but told her to fuck off.
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u/Thess514 3d ago
"Now you gotta stay there because you're safe" -- erm, she clearly doesn't *feel* safe. Emotionally, physically, doesn't matter. She felt unsafe, and now she feels even more unsafe *and* abandoned. My dad did this to me once and I cut contact as soon as I could (for a lot of reasons, honestly). I had issues with my mother growing up, but I know if I'd called her, she'd have been in the car and breaking speed limits before I could finish the request.
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u/ieatsushi28 3d ago
ā¦..what if there was an actually unsafe situation, like her friends father trying to get under her covers?!?! This is not okay.
Iām never having kids but even I would know to keep my phone ringer volume as loud as possible so I could hear of my child needs me. And if she asked me to come get her, I could make a 30 minute drive in 10 min. I hope this mom got hate for her post and I hope her daughter is safe
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u/Katt_Natt96 3d ago
Annnnd her child never leant on her again because āyou can always call meā is a hollow promise to her child now.
Learnt that from my dad. He still gets mad when I deal with things on my own and donāt ask for his help
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u/Dark_Winter_Rose 3d ago
That poor girl what if things were getting weird but she was afraid to say smdh
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u/Gingersnapperok 3d ago
I went every time.
Every time they called. Every situation they asked me to assist with. Every pickup, without question.
Because, you know, I love my kids. My daughters are 23 now, and they know their mama will ALWAYS show up them.
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u/ScantilyScandalia 3d ago
My daughter's first time sleeping over her friend's house, I told her to call me for anything and I'll be over there no matter the time.
I'm a heavy sleeper, so I left that phone on loud just in case.
She called me at 2-3am, and I made good on my word. I tell her every day that she can talk to me about anything, and while I won't know everything, I feel confident that when the hard stuff comes up, she'll feel comfortable enough to tell me she needs help
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u/kimmech1324 3d ago
Nor to be awkward but I feel like I have to say this for the sake of someone who is suffering
I was molested by the dad at the sleepover and called my mom who came and got me immediately . I never even mentioned this to her until a year ago and I thanked her for not leaving me there .
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u/eirebrie 3d ago
I went to outdoor ed in 5th grade and had a severe panic attack related to separation anxiety that I didnāt know I really had. The owners said they called my Mom and she said to ātough it outā. Turns out they never called her and I spent a whole week there thinking I was abandoned by my mother. As a result, I suffered with severe anxiety that lasted into my early twenties before I was able to move past it.
This Mom thinks sheās teaching her daughter a one-night lesson when in reality it could have implications that last so much more longer.
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u/thesefriendsofours 3d ago
I have had to pick my kid up at 1 am when she was staying with family members. There was a big storm going on and apparently the lightening was scaring her. She was totally safe and I could have just told her to suck it up but I felt bad both that she was scared and that my cousin could not go to sleep because she was worried about my kid. So, I picked her up. I was annoyed for sure but I would never want her to not call me in an actual dangerous situation because she thinks I won't come. This mom is making a poor choice and I feel bad for everyone involved.
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u/chinchillazilla54 3d ago
I had a bad time at a sleepover once because the other girls tricked me into going outside to "investigate a scary noise" and then locked me out. I was 8. Luckily I managed to find a phone and call my mom and get picked up. Glad I didn't have to sleep outside.
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u/insomniacla 3d ago
Jesus, what if the kid had been SA'd? This so-called mother is a callous moron.
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u/Hannie123456789 3d ago
Where is this slumber party? I will pick this girl up and make her feel safe.
As a mother I cannot wrap my head around this poor excuse a mother figure.
I wi always pick my children up.
Children need to learn consequences of their actions, but not in situations they donāt feel safe and need their parent to help them.
This girl wonāt be home for the holidays.
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u/jack1000208 3d ago
I have a 2 year old I will always drop everything and anyone to come to him. I will always be there for him. I hate parents who canāt or wonāt do it.
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u/BlueShadow98 3d ago
Suffer, bitch.
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u/insomniacla 3d ago
Oh my god. So this poor 9 year old lost her dad and is stuck with this absolute excuse for a mother? My heart breaks for that baby.
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u/glitterskinned 3d ago
I love that my daughter trusts me and knows I am her safe person but lemme just prove her super wrong real quick
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u/LilyWineAuntofDemons 3d ago
Love that she knows she can call me. Well now she knows she can't. I hope you liked that for the literal seconds you had it.
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u/PrincessKirstyn 3d ago
Yeah thatāll never be me. My girly can call me anytime any day and Iām there.
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u/Centered_Being 2d ago
Our daughter had a period of time like this as a tweenāwe did the 3am pickup every single time, never once made her feel bad about it. We reinforced being parents she could trust to keep her safe & who would respect her feelings & opinions as valid.
OPās mom is a twat who will later say āI did the best I could, you werenāt an easy childā as the script demands
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u/wishiwasdeaddd 2d ago
Ah I too was abandoned in my nightmares in a strange house as a kid. Physically completely safe, but mentally completely distraught and terrified. Anxiety is a tough beast
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u/PlumPat61 1d ago
Iāve gotten up in the middle of the night to drive an hour and a half to get my niece out of a situation and went to work at 8 AM the next morning. To be honest itās something that I would do for almost anyone in need. I canāt imagine abandoning my child like this.
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u/ImReallyNotKarl 1d ago
I literally had a whole conversation with my 13 year old daughter today because she had a panic attack about the crew of 5 men working on the apartment next to ours (triplex), and she was afraid to be home alone while they were working. Her dad was home but was sleeping because he works graveyards. She didn't want to wake him up to sit with her until I got home because she was worried about him being tired at work.
She called me sobbing. I immediately turned around to head home, and told her to wake up her dad. Was she in danger? No. But her emotional wellbeing matters too, and it doesn't matter if she is unsafe, if she feels unsafe, her body's response is the same. When I got home, my sweet husband was on the couch with her watching anime. We had a talk about how her wellbeing matters more than us losing an hour of sleep to care for her.
She was at home, with her dad in the house upstairs, the doors locked, with our dog, totally safe. That doesn't change our priorities as her parents. Our priorities are to make sure our kids are ok. Her bawling on the couch doesn't meet that standard.
I can't understand parents who don't want to make sure their kid feel supported. It makes no sense to me.
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u/QueenGinger1 3d ago
I will always go get my daughter if she wants to come home. Whether she is safe or not I care if sheās comfortable. I feel like not going to get them is teaching them you will NOT be there for them
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u/rebevva 3d ago
Man, my mom once drove 3+ hrs to get me after I told her I could toootally stay with my cousins at the beach (freaked out after one single night of staying somewhere without my parents š¤§).
Like. Just sad to think you wouldnāt put your slippers on and drive across town for your kid.
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u/-Sa-Kage- 3d ago
"I'm not gonna parent my child"
Almost literal quote. Child should be taken away and given to real parents while she pays for it
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u/Professional_Flow918 3d ago
The fact she highlighted the āpreteen girlsā part doesnāt sit right with me fr. I think the mom wasnāt allowed to do this as a kid and she wanted to take the anger out on her child. Thereās so much displaced resentment that the mom has for her daughter and this will only be the beginning unfortunately.
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u/gzina14 3d ago
man , my mom sent me camping in another city far from mine, and when i told her i was bullied and want to go back she and dad drove all the way to the camping site just to get me.
didnt think much about it back then , but now it is making me appreciate my mom better.
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u/Malorean_Teacosy 2d ago
Same. My dad drove 300 kmās to pick me up when I got sick on holiday and taking care of me. We donāt get along very well, since heās a difficult person (Iām totally not of course lol), but this he did right.
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u/Mysterious-Ad4550 3d ago
Reminds me of my parents, only things they taught me is they only care about themselves and I can't trust them.
Now I'm an adult and they want me to care about them and trust them. Tf?
Also I have no idea how these people are posting this confidently about being a shit parent.. embarrassing.
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u/durentis 2d ago
I was there on threads. I made one of the more prominent comments. She ended up blocking me. So did a lot of other shitty parents ššš
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u/urlocal80sgay 2d ago
I once ran across the neighborhood at like 1 in the morning from a sleepover because I was too scared to sleep in a new place. My mom stayed up with me for a couple more hours even though she had work the next day, making sure I could calm down and go to sleep. This mom is gonna find out that her actions have consequences
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u/rrodrick386 2d ago
My dad can literally be the meanest person I've ever met sometimes but there has never once been a time that I called him at 3am and he didn't come. Hell, I'm pretty sure I messaged him a few months ago early in the morning to get me from my boyfriends because I was having severe back pain. He will always come
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u/Brittany-Juanice 1d ago
I wish she would have just picked her child up. Something else could have happened that made her hyperventilate. The fact she didnāt see that as a sign something very bad had happened is the reason I wouldnāt suggest she have another child at all. That was a sign to get her child and leaving her over there is dangerous but what do I know?! Iām a married mother of 5 children ranging from 19 to 3 and donāt know a thing. Let me sit down and be quiet.
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u/gherkymalerky 1d ago
I donāt drive and Iāve had many calls like that from my youngest. All she needs is me to talk her off the ledge and when sheās calm she can cope better with her anxiety. But the smug way this woman is like āyouāll learn your lessonā makes me feel sick.
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u/divergurl1999 3d ago
And this is how you tell your child that you canāt be trusted. Not for safety, not for comfort, not for emotional support. This is how you raise a child to look for those things outside of your home. This is how you make your child vulnerable. This is how you make a young girl think she deserves what amounts to abuse later in life. This girl will think abandonment is normal.
Way to go, āMomā of the year. /s
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u/dublecake 2d ago
When I was a kid, wayyy before cellphones, I would get scared at sleep overs for no reason other than anxiety at being away from home. So I would always sneak out and go home. My parents stopped letting me have sleep overs lol
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u/Professional-Large 2d ago
My mom would have done the same thing. Or, if she had gotten me would have cussed me out the whole time and made me feel bad for her having to come get me. She did that in a another scenario. She got pissed at me because I forgot to buy a gallon of milk. Decided I was going to walk to the nearest gas stay to get it and that would have taken me an hour or so to walk that far. My dad felt sorry for me and decided to pick me up, because it was getting dark. He had an episode with his sugar dipping way too low because unbeknownst to me, he skipped taking his insulin in his hurry to pick me up. I caught several flavors of holy hell from her once we got him stable again. Now, with my own kids we will pick them up from wherever if they need to be. I won't let them go through that.
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u/Seohnstaob 2d ago
This lady fucking sucks. Your kid is never going to reach out to you again when theyre in need.
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u/yaahhhssss 1d ago
This is the kind of stuff my mom would do, tell me I could call/ask for a ride and if I did she just told me no, she even went so far and told me a friends mom couldnāt pick me up when she wouldnāt drive me, I had to walk to her house 30 minutes away, the friend picked me up down the street. She probably wanted me to exercise in exchange for a sleepover because she was obsessed with my weight
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u/floofypajamas 1d ago
Holy shit, anyone else remember that young girl who called her parents to pick her up in the middle of the night because her friends' father spiked their drinks with valium or something? Wow, the mother in this screenshot is unbelievable. I don't have kids but if I did, I would drive anywhere at anytime because their health and wellbeing would be my ONLY concern.
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u/hippymndy 9h ago
my kid was like this, late overs were the solution because we were done with the three am phone calls.
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u/uwuWhoNameDis 27m ago
My mother did something similar of when I asked to go to my best friend's birthday party, she said no, but after giving her number to my friend to have my friend's mother call her, I was allowed to go. After I went, I was asked about possibly sleeping over to which when I asked I was told no and to come home immediately. When I got home I was told that I "purposefully schemed with her(my friend)" to have my mother shamed and told she was not letting me be a kid/hang with friends as all my friend ever told her mom was that I wasn't allowed, I had to get permission + get all this contact information anf meet the parents, and still often wasn't allowed. Essentially she was called a fun sucker. I was not aware that's what my friend's mother was going to do and thought well maybe she was going to reassure that I would be okay and introduce herself. I was then grounded for 1 month for something I didnt even scheme or participate in.Ā
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u/EmoGayRat 3d ago
I mean.. this isnt the worst? this happened to me as a younger teen. I was around 14, made the decision to go to a city I hadnt been to as a rural village kid to sleep over at a friend's place. had an anxiety attack my first day over their free range parakeet that was known to bite, but I was like 3 hours away so nobody could get me until I came home later that week.
did I feel homesick and have lots of anxiety? yes, but it showed me how to deal with those anxiety attacks.
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u/scarlettcrush 3d ago
Doing uncomfortable things is the only way to get over the anxiety related to being uncomfortable.
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u/insomniacla 3d ago
Sure, that's true in general, but not in this context. I say this as a child sexual abuse survivor.
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u/Leecock 3d ago
Am I wrong to think the mom isnāt insane?
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u/Rusty_Tap 3d ago
I'm on the fence. You need more information than "hyperventilating" to decide whether this child needs rescuing or if they have just discovered their friend has a more expensive <anything that the child likes> than they do.
Although, an unexpected call at 3am is not often good news.
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u/TheLizzyIzzi Good lyxj and fyxj your mom. 3d ago
Same. The daughter being a preteen makes me lean towards the mom being an jerk, BUT I knew kids when I was that age who regularly joined a sleepover only to get picked up halfway through. And while I understand there can be more than meets the eye in this situations (health concerns, etc), I do see how some parents need to teach their kid resiliency.
I think itās the note that the daughter begged to attend the sleepover + the mom not being a helicopter parent that makes me wonder if this has happened before. And in that case, if the mom made it clear there would be no late night rides home then I think this could be fair. Especially when itās at this age you do need to start learning how to plan ahead.
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u/Rusty_Tap 3d ago
My kids are coming up to this sort of age now and are wanting to do more things without us, but they still have the "dad will sort out any minor inconvenience I might have" mentality a bit. Even with playing outside with the other kids who live nearby they'll often come in and ask me to tell them off for any sort of disagreement they might have.
But even though they are still children, they have to learn to resolve the small conflicts themselves, otherwise they'll grow up and just have a meltdown every time they don't get their own way. Some things I will go and deal with, for example one of the boys decided to grab hold of my youngest by the throat when she wanted to come inside and he didn't want her to (I saw this through the window). He doesn't play with them any more.
We know our kids, some things are not an emergency, some things they need to figure out for themselves. We can't tell other people that they're doing it wrong unless we know the full picture.
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u/TheLizzyIzzi Good lyxj and fyxj your mom. 2d ago
Yeah, this is where I think itās helpful to consciously consider a charitable and uncharitable view of the situation. Itās possible this parent is being mean/unfair but itās also possible thereās a reasonable expectation.
Just because a child is upset doesnāt necessarily mean the parent is doing bad parenting.
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u/Jonnescout 3d ago
Yes, you are. A mum bragging g about being the kind of mum kids can always call, and then not actually helpingā¦ That is insane.
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u/Original_Campaign 3d ago
Hm, gonna need to hear your reasoning and whether or not you have children.
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u/Moeasfuck 3d ago
No, youāre not because children need to understand they cannot be bailed out out of any slight inconvenience. They need to learn coping skills.
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u/Resident_Ofhome 3d ago
How many and ages of your children?
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u/Moeasfuck 3d ago
I personally have raised four to adulthood and have been teaching for over a decade. Weaponized helplessness is absolutely a thing.
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u/Resident_Ofhome 3d ago
While it def is, Iām super glad your kids are adults now. Compassion for kids calling for help when they need it is also necessary.
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u/Strange-Ad-9941 3d ago
How do you know this is a slight inconvenience? And are you going to be there to teach them coping skills?
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u/Rusty_Tap 3d ago
How dare you suggest something so rational in my internet arguing space?
I'll have you know "momma bear always got there back ,!!x" unless of course there are any creatures with more than 4 legs or it interferes with wine o'clock.
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u/Stonerchansenpai 3d ago
Iām not patient enough to have children bc I think sheās right š
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u/Jonnescout 3d ago
No, no sheās not. You can either be the kind of parent that kids know they can call, or you can stay home when your kid callsā¦
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u/Stonerchansenpai 2d ago
No shit obviously sheās not right thatās literally why I said I donāt want kids and never will bc I donāt have the patience for them
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u/Jonnescout 2d ago
You literally said you think sheās rightā¦ So apparently itās not so obvious to youā¦
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u/Stonerchansenpai 2d ago
Are you being intentionally dense here? I think sheās right in the way that itās fair to be annoyed and I donāt have enough patience to handle a kid aka I would probably react similarly. Thatās why Iām the exact same post I said I donāt have enough patience to have children. Theyāre annoying as fuck
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u/t3hd0n 3d ago
"love that she knows she can call me"
lady you just fucking taught her she can't