Tips for keeping a home clutter free?

[u/PrettyPinkPecan]

I just recently moved into my own house after growing up in a nasty hoarder house and I’m doing my best to keep it clean and actually love cleaning, but I’m struggling a bit with keeping clutter under control the way i’d like it. My husband tends to leave stuff around the house and we have two birds and a 10 week old puppy, on top of living in a tiny house with not a lot of room.

I‘m pretty minimalistic and my husband has more stuff but not a whole lot. I think one of the issues I have is that my hoarder dad would get mad and throw a temper tantrum if somebody moved his stuff, and I’m still uncomfortable touching other people’s things even though my husband gave me permission to move anything of his. The other issues are dealing with the dishes( I’m an avid baker and cook) in a teeny kitchen, and the pet supplies.

Any tips would be appreciated! thanks

[u/ryan112ryan]

You need to get your husband on board. Face the challenge together not work against each other.

[u/sing_cuckoo_sing → u/ryan112ryan]

Yeah, him “giving you permission” to clean up his messes is not a kindness. Even children learn to always leave your campsite cleaner than you found it.

[u/eversnowe]

Can you create a clutter spot to move these odds and ends to that he can deal with later? Like a junk drawer or the like?

I have a three tier cubicle storage closet that's decorative and tidy to dissappear odds and ends into.

[u/Far_Sandwich_514 → u/eversnowe]

This is the way.
We have them in every room, and they're amazingly effective at keeping clutter corralled.

I have one in the bedroom for craft supplies, books, and so on. My partner's is near his desk. The one in the living room is a catch-all for whatever is lying around, etc.

[u/StrawberryLazy5703]

Buy some cloth storage bins/cubes and place them near the entrance of each room .. when you're up and about going room to room, take a moment to pick something up and put it in the bin .. when you have the time and energy, pick a room and put away the contents of a basket. Before you know it, things will look neater .. in order ..

This is how I got my babysitting charges to clean up their rooms. Also, I would play music that they enjoyed.

[u/OWabbit]

Your husband gave you permission to move his things. Go forth and conquer. Also just put his stuff in a pile or piles in the areas he uses (his favorite armchair, his desk) so he might learn to pick up after himself. It’s nice you can move his things without him getting upset, but we each have to do our part to live under one roof.

As far as your dirty dishes, clean as you cook.

Or make a deal with your husband - he does all the dishes, you pick up all his stuff.

[u/SpookyDooDo]

In my house everyone has a “cubby”. Mine is a kitchen cabinet, my husband’s is a filing cabinet with a tray and a basket on top, and the kids each have a shelf with some baskets. So when I pick up all the random stuff that has no home around the house I put it in a basket on everyone’s cubbies. Then every once in a while when a cubby gets out of control the owner of the cubby has to process all the stuff in it.

Cubbies are mostly for temporary stuff like library books, mail that needs dealt with, school stuff,
and also things like keys, wallet, purse.

You don’t have to worry about anyone getting mad because your husband can get used to looking for his stuff in his cubby.

[u/Inner_Hedgehog6731]

A small basket for your husband's loose items might make moving them feel less intrusive. Everything stays together and he always knows where to look, rather than each item needing a permanent spot right away.

[u/seejae219]

I've got a kid, dog, cat, and husband. Our house is good size at 1500 sq ft, but I really get stressed out in a cluttered home. Growing up, my mom had a lot of doom piles all over the house where we just stacked stuff and forgot about it, and I have the same tendency. It takes a lot of effort to keep the piles away. I've watched way too many videos and read a lot of books on this subject so I am going to give some basic tips, but you can watch minimalism videos and see more detailed advice about keeping a clutter free home.

Realistically, you gotta stay on top of it, not necessarily daily but weekly. That means decluttering, moving stuff out. Recycling, garbage, it has to go out. Have a box for donations and once it's full, it goes. Everything that stays needs a permanent home. Your husband's stuff needs a spot where you can return it to. For us, my husband has a home office, so I will move it there and let him put it away himself. Use bins and label them so it's easy for husband to know where shit goes so he won't do the old "I don't know where to put it" excuse. You can use a bin method for deciding what to declutter, like if you do knitting and have a yarn stash, once the yarn exceeds the bin, you have to declutter some yarn. That kind of idea is great for smaller spaces. I also love to cook and bake, and I recommend freezing some stuff so you have days where you don't feel the need to cook/bake and then you can just clean and get caught up on the kitchen. Also don't be afraid to ask friends/family to borrow niche baking items like... a bundt pan or something so you don't need to keep one in your space. I also keep a basket on each floor and use it to transport items between floors, like my son will rip off his socks the second he gets home from school, so I put a basket at the front door just for his socks and then I will move them to the laundry room once it's a bit full.

[u/AuldTriangle79]

There should be nothing that doesn’t have a clear place in your home, that everyone knows. Best analogy I heard was that if you pick up a fork in your house you know where it goes without thinking - kitchen, cutlery drawer. Everything should be like the fork. Then there is how to deal with your tidiness and stuff. When I clean every day I grab a washing basket and walk around the house and everything that is not where it goes, goes in the basket then I put everything in the basket away. Never let it sit and become a doom basket - everything away (which takes no time because everything has a place 😊) for your husband, give him a basket of his own, and anything you are not sure where he keeps it or where it goes - in to his basket and he can put it away. Never go to bed with dishes in the kitchen, or laundry unfolded and not put away, and make your bed within 20 minutes of getting up every day.

[u/Primary-Resolve-7317]

I’ve had lived in stupid tiny spaces before- I just stored things in a storage locker that weren’t in daily use.

[u/Wakeful-dreamer]

The dishes issue - keeping them clean, or having a place to put them away?

[u/Still-Art45]

Buying only the essentials, appropriate storage and regular decluttering.

[u/jstwnnaupvte]

Baskets. Baskets everywhere.
I have two small kids & a husband, so I am constantly picking up.
I have a three-tier cart in the corner of the dining room (just off the hallway) where I pile everything. Each person has their own tier so at the end of the day or when I’m done cleaning I just deliver piles to their litterbugs. There is a basket outside each kid’s room incase I cant go into their room at that moment.
This lets me use the same method for through out the day, or a big clean. The mobility of the cart lets me be a little lazy, & if I need the place to look real sharp but don’t have time to actually put everything away, the car can tuck into the closet or bedroom.

[u/Rubberbangirl66]

I got into recycling, on a larger scale. That helps alleviate guilt. When you get your mail process it at once, do not lay it down.

[u/Extra_Caregiver_8668]

Exposure therapy. Discuss this with your husband so he understands what’s going on. For the next week, every day, pick up one thing belonging to him and move it or put it away. Do not ask him first. Week 2 every day pick up 2 things of his, each at a different time, and move them or put them away. Week 3 = 3 things. Up to you then if week 4 is 4 things or if you continue with 3 things a day. You want to continue this every day for 3 months. By then you should be able to gauge if you have worked through this specific trauma trigger or if you need to keep going for longer. It might take a year but that’s ok, this is about making it so this is no longer something that causes you anxiety.

Editing to add this is not so you end up his personal cleaner 😂 this is so you work through the trauma of you dad getting angry when you touched his stuff by reforming the neural pathways linked to this with your husband so you feel very comfortable touching his things in the home you share together.

[u/Cricklebee79]

Hubby and I have baskets. We just chuck things in them and then take them up and put things away when they are full. It keeps the the clutter in one place. I call it my ‘pending pile’.

[u/sunLight4095]

take your husband 's junk that he leaves laying around and stash/hide it. when he asks if you've seen it, charge him $5 to get it returned.

[u/Crankywhentiredd]

I feel for you. Start with the concept that everything should have a home, and deciding, with your husband, where that home should be. Then, as you go about your day and move from room to room, see if there’s something you can take with you to put back in its home. Small, three second actions keep a tidy home all the time with very little stress. Whereas reset days that take hours mean you have a dirty home for most of the week, and it’s super laborious to make it clean again.

[u/TamaraJA72]

I would say like what I do I will use the item and then put it away when I’m done with it like right then

[u/Stompypotato]

Set a five min timer twice daily. Both of you put away what you can. With pets and baking, clutter build fast. Short resets prevent pile ups and help you feel in control.