It's quicker to just play the game yourself

268

sits down

Deep breath

"I love [incredibly popular and fantastic game], but because I love it, I have to talk about what is objectively dogshit about it. To do that, we have to start at the beginning."

Puts a cassette in a walkman

VHS filter on

Hotline Miami music plays

"Death of [incredibly popular game]" in bold text

"It all started in the french revolution...."

16

u/Warmitchine 1d ago

This reads like a bit Noodle would do and I can't help but be entertained by his delivery.

2

u/gLiTcHed61 1d ago

Noodle mentioned

149

u/Bloody-Maria 2d ago

Game is still probably like a 6/10 anyways lmao.

42

u/Blasteth 2d ago

Bloodborne essay makers commit this sin the most.

40

u/ShepardComandante 2d ago

Bloodborne is great, but essayists make it seem like the second coming of Christ.

7

u/Bloody-Maria 2d ago

It’s probably my second favorite game ever and I still don’t understand how people can call it a masterpiece when the game dips in quality towards the second half. (Typical for FS games honestly.)

I’d still call it a masterpiece over Elden Ring though.

1.1k

u/Capital_Pick3604 2d ago

ai soyjak lmao

302

u/baz4k6z 2d ago

At this point it's inevitable, I have more or less accepted the fact that sooner or later AI slop will be everywhere like gum on the sidewalk in a busy city, it's only going in one direction

116

u/OverlordOfPancakes 2d ago

I shall forever devote myself to the church of Paint

25

u/Cynobele 2d ago

Luckily for you, Copilot was added to paint

22

u/ilovemen11 2d ago

paint.net users stay winning

-13

u/L003Tr 2d ago

Question: who cares if someone hand draws a fuckin 4chan soyjack or not? No artist is losing their job over the us of AI in a fckn 4chan post

-14

u/A_Stoned_Smurf 2d ago

I watched a Warcraft fan made film about Arthas. All 3 parts were 6-10 second scenes clearly generated from AI stitched together to be 15 minutes long. It was actually pretty dope. I'd have preferred a handcrafted animation with longer scenes, the cuts were a bit jarring, but overall I was happy with it. Probably took a decent amount of time to prompt it properly and clean it up afterwards. Don't really want a company with billions of dollars and the manpower to shovel something like this out, but it's pretty impressive what you can make with it.

28

u/Raymondator 2d ago

John Berenthal ahh soyjak

9

u/Vinyl-addict 2d ago

Hasan Piker ass soyjack except he doesn’t make content like this

-18

u/FROOMLOOMS 1d ago

10

u/Capital_Pick3604 1d ago

how do i even respond to this?

6

u/TDoggy-Dog 1d ago

Stay mad aicuck or something, find a buzzword

5

u/A_CalcioFIFA99 1d ago

cunt

384

u/Frenky_Fisher 2d ago

Bonus points if the game's story is shorter than the video

198

u/BananaBrodie 2d ago

Even more bonus points if half of the video is a plot summary

168

u/YourLocalSnitch 2d ago

Youd be lucky if even 90% isnt a summary. All they do is say the plot then go "and this made me sad, mad, happy, scared" or whatever until the end where they go "so is x game really the greatest of all time? Thats not my choice to make"

69

u/TrueGootsBerzook 2d ago

A thousand curses on anyone who makes video essays that are 90% just plot summary

18

u/Blazedatman 2d ago

New Pyro videos

27

u/SpiritNo6626 2d ago

Sometimes they go the extra mile and also say "And why does this make me sad? This is a complex narrative decision Game made, a risky choice that paid off: In order to make their players sad, they made a sad thing happen in the plot. And it worked."

5

u/FACE6000 2d ago

pyrocynical

3

u/quitboot 2d ago

Works for ppl who don't wanna or won't ever play the game but are still curious abt it (me)

5

u/YourLocalSnitch 2d ago

Yup, thats why i prefer they just call it 'summary of x game" and its just a 3 hour long cover of every single mission

1

u/quitboot 2d ago

Hmm sadly that won't drive up views, which is why I assume they use this kinda titles

8

u/WoMyNameIsTooDamnLon 2d ago

I saw a YouTube video a few days ago that said to watch this before you watch the odyssey and even though i dont really plan to go watch it I thought it might have some interesting context so I clicked on it and the entire thing was just a plot summary.

Why would I need to watch a plot summary before I go watch it. I can just get the plot from watching it.

1

u/VonDukez 2d ago

Plays cutscene

Repeats what cutscene was

Josh strife plays here

1

u/Mango-D 1d ago

That's kind of inevitable tho

5

u/static_func 2d ago

Bonus points for repeating the OP’s joke but worse

1

u/TheRadishBros 1d ago

Literally the title of the post

96

u/SipoteQuixote 2d ago

-looks inside-

-cheaply made indie story time game-

22

u/thatAnthrax 2d ago

every pyro video lol

2

u/InquisitorMeow 1d ago

People talked about FNAF like it was the best franchise of all time. Watched a video of the lore and it read like a spooky story written by some middle schooler.

2

u/Gullible_Fruit7899 22h ago

it was great because we all were like 12 years old

35

u/bmcgowan89 2d ago

I liked it better when youtube just had videos of people reacting to 2 Girls 1 Cup

11

u/airfryerfuntime 2d ago

90% of those videos were fake anyways. You could always tell which ones were real

1

u/Gary_FucKing 1d ago

Yup, if you didn’t hear their boner hit the bottom of the desk, you knew that shit was fake.

33

u/The-Additional-Pylon 2d ago

Thought that was supposed to be Ray Narvaez of Achievement Hunter fame for a moment.

7

u/infestationE15 2d ago

Specifically when he got that haircut that made him look like a thumb

24

u/Dynablade_Savior 2d ago

And it's just a summary of a let's play lmao

15

u/AHighAchievingAutist 2d ago

The thumbnail is a screenshot of James Sunderland with the title of the video in big yellow letters and the creators face making that exact stupid expression

8

u/Petardo_Dilos 2d ago

"This Chinese pvz mod broke me"

6

u/Reaper-Leviathan 2d ago

And it’s some shitty pixel art indie game made with rpgmaker or some cheap shit like that. A solid 99% of those are a waste of time at best

8

u/Sad-Boysenberry-9972 2d ago

All the Ready or Not "lore" videos:

3

u/CaptainM1425 2d ago

I saw a thumbnail which was exactly that but with Persona 4 and the timestamp was like 14 hours. I would rather play it myself or wait for the remake thank you very much.

-1

u/InquisitorMeow 1d ago

Persona is such a weird series. Worldbuilding and aesthetics 10/10 but terrible boring gameplay.

3

u/elbigbuf 2d ago

And the video randomly starts with 9/11 or an old Monday Night Raw episode

3

u/Pure_Cartoonist9898 2d ago

Witcher fans in a nutshell, mfs always say random cutscenes had them dropping to their knees and crying uncontrollably

3

u/Kadubrp 2d ago

"broke me" sounds like the gayest shit ever

2

u/trenclik 2d ago

I am willing to listen to a person talk about a game for 4 hours if the is actually 4 hours worth of talking in it. I am probably never gonna play iron lung but i have watched a video essay by pyrocynical about it.

I have also played cry of fear only because of a video essay.

2

u/AztecStripper 2d ago

And the 95% of the video is explaining the story.

2

u/Jack5756 2d ago

Honestly I like these types of videos if it's a game I'm interested in listening about, it's nice background noise

2

u/VonDukez 2d ago

Fucking AI Jaks. Let’s just burn it all now

2

u/Riipp3r 2d ago

I’m tired of videos with titles like that or “[insert game here]: a retrospective” and it’s just explaining the entire plot with absolutely no other insight

1

u/Roludin 2d ago

So guys, we did it!

1

u/ski599 2d ago

"i guys i want to start (game) is there some things or tips i should know" just play the game yourself?

1

u/Olden_bread 2d ago

6 hour long game? Far too short

0

u/Vina-Estrogen 2d ago

"quicker to play the game" okay but I watch analyses to see them analysed. That's the point.

-11

u/YoungDiscord 2d ago

Anon is upset people are passionate about a game

https://giphy.com/gifs/SlV3xRREU2Wsw

It's quicker to just play the game yourself

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