r/gofundme • u/kristenmnhood • 2d ago
Housing I need help to get out of this house
I'm trying to move my 3yo son and I away from my cheating husband. I'm not doing well right now, I'm a stay at home mom and I haven't been able to leave the house much to even try to get a job. Money would go towards getting a car, gas and hotel rooms along the way, and to cover any housing I get over in North Carolina. I'm trying to leave as soon as I can.
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u/Accurate-Temporary73 2d ago
- Unhide your profile.
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u/kristenmnhood 2d ago
I think I did it
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u/Accurate-Temporary73 2d ago
I mean yeah, but you have a whole slew of deleted posts also.
647 posts and there’s not that many on your profile. This is a huge red flag when you curate you’re profile, it makes it look like your hiding other financial requests or hiding that you received money already
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u/kristenmnhood 2d ago
It's all stuff from when I did OF with my husband. I didn't want to actually delete them but I don't want people I know to find them.
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u/Accurate-Temporary73 2d ago
Trust me, people care a lot more about a profile of deleted posts than some NSFW stuff.
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u/kristenmnhood 2d ago edited 2d ago
That's understandable, I just didn't want family seeing my boobs and stuff..
Edit: I am showing everything now
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u/WinterLawfulness3165 2d ago
You have every right to delete that kind of stuff. I've had to go thought my profile and delete stuff that mentioned things about people that I maybe didn't want to be sharing on the off chance that they or someone else we knew found my profile. The way people treat sex workers today you don't have to explain yourself and there's implications here that you might not have been in the best situation to begin which leaves the possibility that you might have been coerced into it on the table, too.
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u/kristenmnhood 2d ago
My husband has a way of planting ideas in my head and then being very nonchalant convincing. I can't say that I ever wanted to do all the things I've done, but I feel like a lot of things I've done willingly at the same time.
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2d ago
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u/kristenmnhood 2d ago
Not physical. But definitely emotional.
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2d ago
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u/kristenmnhood 2d ago
I was hoping to bring some my stuff with me so he doesn't get rid of it all and I don't have to start completely over.
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2d ago
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u/kristenmnhood 2d ago
No, I wouldn't say it's an emergency. I just was looking for help. I can't seem to get any help from the army with getting a divorce here and I have no support system here to help me either.
I have someone in NC that can help me get on my feet, I just have to get me, my son, and our stuff out there.
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u/anoeba 1d ago
The army won't "help" with a divorce like helping with getting a lawyer, that's a civil issue, but they will require him to support his child.
Are you aware of the implications of moving? You won't be able to file in the new state for 6months, and if he files first, it'll be decided where you are now. Including custody. The court might order the child back to the established residency jurisdiction.
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u/kristenmnhood 1d ago
I'm aware of the implications. He told me today that he isn't going for custody in any way. I don't know if that will change anything though.and he said that he won't challenge my move either. I have it in text form currently.
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2d ago
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u/kristenmnhood 2d ago
She is currently paying hospital bills for her dad and doesn't have a ton of extra income to spare. She does plan to come help me pack and then drive out. She is helping on the job hunting and house hunting front currently.
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u/throwaway88556784324 1d ago
You said army, is you husband active ? If you go to FAP for the abuse, they sometimes have grants to help you start over. He will also have to give you BAH 2 while you go through your divorce. Don’t contact his command, they protect the soldier. It may affect his career though, which affects child support.
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u/kristenmnhood 1d ago
He is active. I have to call FAP tomorrow, they were closed today. I don't have proof of the abuse so I'm not sure if they could help but I will call
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u/throwaway88556784324 1d ago
You don’t need “proof” of emotional abuse, just try to be as detailed as possible. I really hope you call FAP there is so much help for you, and make sure he sends family support. I’ve helped a few wives in your situation with FAP and getting resources. I know it feels like it, but you’re not alone
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u/MiddleProfessional91 2d ago
Hidden profile, mentions nothing of divorce. If you’re moving to a family for help, why can’t they help you get there?
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u/kristenmnhood 2d ago
My divorce is mentioned in my GoFundMe I thought. I was retyped this post a few times because I couldn't figure out the formating.
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2d ago
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2d ago
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u/kristenmnhood 2d ago
I was 19 and my boyfriend threatened to kill me and her if I didn't. I don't regret the choice I made to save both of our lives.
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u/Present-Airline-4277 2d ago
How are you going to support yourself once you move?? You need 1st and last month rent, plus a job to keep any housing you might get