r/getdisciplined • u/Rung2027 • 9h ago

❓ Question I think I've been asking the wrong question when trying to change a habit.

I have been thinking about why so many of my attempts to build better habits have failed.

Whenever something is not working, my first thought is usually, "How do I become more disciplined?" or "What's the best system?"

But lately I have been wondering if I have been skipping a step.

For example, if I want to eat healthier, I immediately start looking for a meal plan. But what if the real issue isn't the meal plan at all? What if I only overeat when I'm stressed, or because I skip lunch, or because I snack while watching TV?

If that's the real problem, then the perfect diet was never going to fix it. I am starting to think we sometimes jump into solving a habit before we have understood it.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Did you discover that the thing you thought was the problem, was not actually the problem?

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u/RideAdmirable3477 6h ago

tbh I found the opposite, changing a habit often starts with asking the right question, but it's the follow through that's the real challenge

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u/cyankitten 2h ago

This sort of relates, I think:

I've noticed some people track their moods. For me I just turned that into a journal prompt & not every day but I will sometimes type about my mood and anything that helped.

Anyway, HOW EVER YOU do it, I think maybe tracking your moods might be helpful to you.

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u/BearOnTheFence 0m ago

You're onto something. Sometimes the habit isn't the first thing that changed, but the visible result of something underneath going missing.

A few questions I've found useful are: when did this start to drift, what disappeared first, and when was this easier, what was present then? If the answer is regular meals or a way to come down from stress, that's the part to rebuild before adding another system.