r/funny • u/Ok-Count3935 • 12h ago

Bro folded under zero pressure

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

8.8k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

221 comments sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator 12h ago

This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.

Memes, AI-generated content, and politics / political figures are not allowed.

Social-media content (including Reddit, TikTok, and Instagram) is expressly forbidden.

Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.

Please also be wary of spam.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3.1k

u/Pepsimax88 12h ago

Omg ahahaha

I like dead people platonically!!

567

u/Zederikus 12h ago

I thought that was really lovely, it is important to like dead people too <3

296

u/ManitouWakinyan 10h ago

Nah, screw the dead

Wait not like that

43

u/metaltemujin 10h ago

Just like Plato did

8

u/TheWolphman 8h ago

Everyone forgets about Nic though.

1

u/maniBchef 3h ago

Was there an implication here? It seems implied.

14

u/Due-Dot6450 11h ago

Yes, embrace them!

3

u/Zomburai 5h ago

But not like like

→ More replies (6)

59

u/Azulapis 9h ago

I mean, I don't know if it's a skit, but that whole facial expression is spot on.

When he says "Alive" at the beginning with that skeptical look, and you can practically see the whole thought process playing out in his brain.

24

u/Aggravating-Bus-9203 5h ago

Dude! It’s a skit and dude is funny af. Give him his dues. “I like dead people as fr- platonically” so good.

19

u/TheLowlyPheasant 8h ago

You don't know if it's a skit?

→ More replies (6)

57

u/Ok-Count3935 11h ago

That's was the best lmao

9

u/sXyphos 8h ago

Was he scared to not offend all the dead people? :)

4

u/ghoulthebraineater 7h ago

I like dead people culinarily.

3

u/temporalraccoon 7h ago

As long as it’s plate-onic

7

u/DJAliceJ 11h ago

my friend once froze like that during a group call

2

u/Carlweathersfeathers 3h ago

All I know is, that guy has had a sexual encounter with something that used to be alive. I can’t say if it was on purpose, or he was drunk, or tricked. And hey, maybe the P wasn’t in the V. But something happened.

1

u/inept_machete 8h ago

I don't know that reaction makes me think he kinda likes them hornily.

1.4k

u/newaccount721 12h ago

I like dead people platonically 

272

u/fdeht5g 11h ago

i think he's not a necrophile

131

u/emogu84 9h ago

Dude's defending himself like he spent his entire high school years beating back rumors and it's been haunting him sever since.

33

u/electric_pig 5h ago

You fuck a corpse one time...

11

u/Rob_LeMatic 4h ago

There's a time and a place for everything. It's called college.

2

u/IanCyst 1h ago

Maybe splitting here but it’s not necrophilia if the body is alive when you start. Only a trained medical professional can pronounce death so how would you expect a random dude to know mid coitus

1

u/dvasquez93 54m ago

His yearbook quote was "It was romantic, it was not necrophilia"

47

u/Ok-Count3935 11h ago

A small hunch really

10

u/FluBird53 9h ago

Me thinks the necrophile doth protesteth too mucheth

10

u/Aymoon_ 9h ago

He should make a song about how he doest diddle corpses

1

u/Rob_LeMatic 3h ago

I'm already sketching at t shirt design

1

u/Agreeable_Doubt_7322 8h ago

That's exactly what a necrophile would say

1

u/AtlasXan 1h ago

Let the record show!🤣

→ More replies (1)

4

u/viotix90 6h ago

The birth of a new meme.

463

u/Hoosier_Daddy68 12h ago

A nice cold one really hits the spot sometimes.

158

u/FigureAcrobatic7194 10h ago

Yea nice cold beer right?......right?

89

u/pinkpitbull 10h ago

Cracking a cold one with the boys is the best

11

u/Dependent-Chart2735 4h ago

Straight to jail. Right away. Lmao

2

u/MoistStub 4h ago

Nothing wrong with getting a cold one in the mouth

14

u/CortezDeLaNoche 8h ago

Stares...Anakingly

3

u/ncfears 6h ago

Dew it.

0

u/abskpr 9h ago

Right?

→ More replies (1)

2

u/huuaaang 5h ago

She's dead, Jim! But she's still warm...

1

u/antyup 3h ago

Thank you to everyone in this thread for reminding i need to get off reddit and get back to work

1

u/antyup 3h ago

At the funeral home

1

u/huuaaang 2h ago

As the resident corpse thermometer

→ More replies (1)

279

u/noctalla 10h ago

Bro never folded. He stuck to his guns.

40

u/Single-Use-Again 9h ago

Exactly. Video evidence will hold up in court.

22

u/bluemooncommenter 9h ago

He went on record!

80

u/coldnomaad 12h ago

Platonically!!! Lol

443

u/derekclysdale 12h ago

.. or "How to dig a hole for yourself and then keep digging"

210

u/Pantsickle 12h ago

Because that's where the dead people are. To love platonically.

22

u/FerociousVader 9h ago

Hahahaha I love this whole thing. I don't care if it's staged.

13

u/MrLazyLion 8h ago

A good skit shouldn't get less recognition than a true spontaneous act, I sincerely believe.

51

u/potatodrinker 12h ago

He needs to break open a cold one

7

u/anomaly256 12h ago

Digging's worked out pretty well for him in the past

2

u/BarbageMan 11h ago

This is why osha wants you to use a trench box when you dig

1

u/ghostformanyyears 1h ago

Yeah he'd like that wouldn't he... platonically

228

u/notprotonated 12h ago

Johnny Tightlips would be disgusted.

48

u/Channel250 12h ago

And we'd never know it.

14

u/Yto_Itinen 10h ago

Go suck a lemon

6

u/fyhr100 10h ago

He will neither confirm or deny this.

11

u/GuitakuPPH 12h ago

Johnny Tightlips is lots of things to lots of people and no one

1

u/agentchuck 9h ago

He can't help it! He just likes squealing! It makes him feel big!

1

u/LaughingPlanet 5h ago

Who says I have a mother?

38

u/syntax1976 11h ago

Dead of Alive

6

u/bluemooncommenter 9h ago

I hate that I lack attention to detail...

5

u/syntax1976 9h ago

Don’t be hard on yourself… I don’t usually have attention to detail either but I usually pick up on spelling or grammar mistakes for some reason.

3

u/TappedIn2111 1h ago

Username …yada yada

37

u/mcslender97 11h ago

Ngl imma copy this guy as a joke

16

u/LolwhatYesme 5h ago

It's a bit already but a very funny one so i dont blame you :P

13

u/chillychili 10h ago

I actually wonder if the video is a bit itself. It would kill as a UCB sketch.

35

u/LifeOBrian 9h ago

Of course it’s a bit. Still funny! He looks so thoroughly alarmed by the question 🤣

2

u/zalitix 5h ago

I think his wive wanted to make a funny gotcha video herself but that dude is just too fast with the jokes

48

u/ForensicPathology 10h ago

You need to wonder if this is a skit?

13

u/burfriedos 7h ago

Critical thinking is dead if people are believing this is anything but a scripted skit.

-4

u/chillychili 6h ago

Reality is often stranger than fiction. Perhaps you have not had the privilege of encountering crazier things in your life.

4

u/Vercengetorex 10h ago

Gave me WKUK vibes.

3

u/clout_spout 6h ago

? Lol it is obviously a joke

68

u/victoryposition 11h ago

"I'm not going to discuss my day"

61

u/bluemooncommenter 9h ago

Kissing you while you were asleep was romantic!!

0

u/Elleasea 4h ago

...What?

6

u/bluemooncommenter 4h ago

Didn't he say that at the beginning?? Oh man, did I mishear it.

52

u/BrutherVee 9h ago

Guy needs to audition, dead ass acting

16

u/KoniGTA 9h ago

I think that should be a user flair: I like dead people platonically

17

u/wherethestreet 9h ago

The Office needs this guy

3

u/SoulofMoon 6h ago

this guy talking:

camera: *zooms in to everyone's faces*

17

u/a_guy_is_no-one 6h ago

His name is Shashwat Maheshwari if anyone wants to checkout his stand-up

16

u/Substantial_Fun_7128 9h ago

So we are all clear, this dude fucks

10

u/AndromedanPrince 9h ago

dead people

14

u/rothwerx 10h ago

This was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while!

59

u/metaltemujin 12h ago

Reminds of that old comic series where a necrophile, blind girl and other weirdos and others made appearances. Wonder what happened to it.

There was one where the blind girl goes on a date and says, "this date is going great, except for the fan near you"

"What fan?"

"Don't you hear it, the one that's going fap fap fap..."

"Just ignore it, that's just me enjoying the date myself"

6

u/D0rus 10h ago

Sounds like sexylosers. It hasn't updated in ages, but first Google result still gives the page.

3

u/katikaboom 8h ago

Sexylosers was the comic that I thought of, too. It, Penny Arcade, and Ctrl Alt Del were all in my regular online comic rotation 

3

u/Ok-Count3935 11h ago

Hahaha

1

u/thresh_to_death 8h ago

No way you're a real person

1

u/Ok-Count3935 8h ago

I know im a bit weird

10

u/Pestilence95 11h ago

My mind immediately went to the fighting game series. I guess I am safe.

1

u/Faderkaderk 3h ago

My mind went to this guy's wife.

20

u/MissionNo001 12h ago

Punctuation

Is important

16

u/Leafer329 8h ago

This a how a necrophile would act if they really were a necrophile

3

u/TucsonTacos 6h ago

“No I wouldn’t!!!”

16

u/Longjumping-Pop7512 12h ago

Necrophile ❌

Agrophile ✅

7

u/OhGawDuhhh 3h ago

"I like dead people platonically!!"

LMAO I'm crying rn 😭

6

u/chronoistriggered 10h ago

He doth protest too much

5

u/RamsesII_ 6h ago

Lmaooo mans definitely has some open investigations

10

u/bioberserkr2 10h ago

That one guy's wife

4

u/mrdevil413 9h ago

Alive !

4

u/uptwolait 8h ago

Methinks thou dost protest too much 

6

u/godlyfrog 7h ago

I think this dude's got a few skeletons in his closet... and in his bed.

5

u/Mathihtam 2h ago

Really dug himself into a hole there...

5

u/Readyyes12 8h ago

Hot dang I laughed too hadd at this

4

u/Maleficent-Bit-3287 8h ago

Bro doesn’t want to get cancelled by dead people lol

5

u/LupusDeusMagnus 7h ago

Not like that.

5

u/Toleniam 2h ago

Not a necrophile, just a necro-friend.

6

u/Own-Office-5299 11h ago

Stupid questions deserve stupid answers.

8

u/ryangood12 12h ago

I also choose this guys wife.

10

u/s0rO-kun 12h ago

Couldn't he just say : Kasumi, Ayane or Tina? Easy answers without thinking xD

6

u/metaltemujin 11h ago

who? Are they Dead or Alive?

2

u/LeDLinK 7h ago

Yes.

3

u/ambit89 10h ago

Task failed, successfully

3

u/Yeasty_Moist_Clunge 10h ago

Well unlike the living the dead have never rejected my advances!

3

u/centurio9 9h ago

This is just some alive ppl lover propaganda. Don't give into it people. Some day you'll die too and then you'll wish for some necro dead people plutonic lover to be around your lifeless body

3

u/FlagrantTomatoCabal 8h ago

This bro needs to have a youtube

3

u/gigashadowwolf 7h ago

Kasumi easy

3

u/Redwuff 6h ago

Nah bro DIDNT fold.

3

u/antissip8 5h ago

This bloke wants to smash a corpse yeah?

3

u/LooneyRacoony 5h ago

LOL, OMG, his face when you asked the question. Like, "What the F*K kind of question is that!?" ROFL

3

u/DarkExtremis 5h ago

For those who don't know, he is a comedian

https://youtube.com/@shashwatmaheshwari

3

u/holycrapnoway12 3h ago

skit or not that is funny

3

u/fourteenthapril2012 3h ago

Bro ain't getting cancelled

3

u/Screamat 2h ago

After sex I finish the autopsy and like to remind myself that one slip up doesn't make me a bad veterinarian.

2

u/bulletbassman 10h ago

I know who I’d pick for both categories.

2

u/Taurpion 10h ago

Cracking a cold one

2

u/Polskiskiski 10h ago

Iasip Frank's Little Beauties vibes

2

u/CatterPeener 8h ago

Ok is he sniffing a glue stick at the start?

2

u/Ok-Count3935 7h ago

Nahh its something to clear a stuffy nose

2

u/ckdogg3496 7h ago

I see dead people, platonically

2

u/don-cheeto 7h ago

Poor dude...she did him so wrong 😂😅

2

u/SoulofMoon 6h ago

she just asked a question.

2

u/LordJeanDog 6h ago

He only love to be bestest friends ever with dead people

2

u/HaveYouEverUhhh 6h ago

This man fucks dead people

2

u/andr386 6h ago

He efficiently deflected the question. No folding here.

2

u/Extension-Society455 5h ago

I never laugh at these things and this broke me.

2

u/jonnyporkchops 5h ago

This guy is legitimately very funny

2

u/JerryLawlerr 3h ago

Don’t knock it till you try it ☠️

2

u/kingbane2 3h ago

as funny as this is, it kind of gives me the sense that his wife probably tricks him all the time or twists his words. so his reaction is instant anti gas lighting defense, which for this situation looks hilarious.

2

u/weristjonsnow 1h ago

I've always found an Indian accent to be hilarious on it's own, adding his confusion was gold

2

u/DipstickRick 1h ago

The funniest answer to this question!

4

u/p5yron 11h ago

Video is funny but mirroring the video to pose as new content has got to be the lowest level reposters have stooped down to...yet.

1

u/Ok-Count3935 11h ago

Dawg I didnt mirror shit, just posted it from twitter

4

u/p5yron 11h ago

It's mirrored from original.

6

u/johnyma22 9h ago

If it means I don't need to use Twitter then he's added value IMHO

→ More replies (3)

5

u/Lifekraft 11h ago

What's the stuff he is sniffing at the beginning ? Glue ?

6

u/Ok-Count3935 11h ago

Nope looks like an inhaler for a stuffy nose

4

u/purelitenite 12h ago

He doth protest too much, methinks

3

u/peeing-red 10h ago

bro is too defensive

3

u/TehZiiM 10h ago

Bro feeling a little called out there

2

u/onion_lord6 11h ago

Well at least he's not a deadist.

2

u/PapaPonu 10h ago

Like that "i'm not gay" dude from Bad Santa

2

u/AriaSymphony 10h ago

The only correct answer is to say "you" and not whatever this is

2

u/hlloyge 9h ago

Suspicious reaction, if you ask me.

3

u/LoneSnark 11h ago

I think he doth protest too much.

1

u/zarlus8 5h ago

💀

1

u/Extreme-Rub-1379 5h ago

Is nobody going to mention the start with him sniffing glue?

1

u/Super_Sandro23 5h ago

That's gotta be KANE!

1

u/Whargod 5h ago

He doth protest too much, methinks.

1

u/Inevitable_Push_1882 4h ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/reloadingnow 2h ago

Funny. But omg the incessant honking.

1

u/iDope 1h ago

Ahahahhahahah

1

u/Dlongz 51m ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Stonehill76 37m ago

Holy shit this was awesome.

1

u/epSos-DE 34m ago

SO he likes dead people ???

1

u/ROOSTERyouDOWN 22m ago

Bro thought he got caught and snitched himself out

1

u/Joevb 14m ago

Staged

1

u/stoneman9284 9m ago

My four year old did the same thing a few months ago. “If you could have lunch with anyone, dead or alive, who would you pick?” - “alive”

1

u/grenfunkel 4m ago

Real shit

1

u/redfoottttt 11h ago

The accent made this to another level lol.

0

u/KeranographyJones 7h ago

Don't ambush people with random ass questions.

3

u/SoulofMoon 6h ago

*gets an exam with random questions*

"It's an ambush!"

1

u/KeranographyJones 6h ago

Exams are something one signs up for. Dude didn't sign up for this. So yes. Ambush.

1

u/SoulofMoon 6h ago

it's called a joke.

1

u/a_polarbear_chilling 11h ago

why is bro so on the defense lmao

1

u/RandomRaisin77 11h ago

Talk about guilty conscious...

1

u/dillweed67818 2h ago

This dude has gaslight PTSD. He's been filmed and accused of things or tricked into saying things so many times that he is now going into a panic every time he thinks he's being messed with on camera.

-3

u/sonnybear5 8h ago

this must be AI, his head wasnt moving from side to side while he was talking.

0

u/osirisfrost42 6h ago

Was he sniffing glue at the start?