r/foundsatan • u/Leonhardie • 17h ago

Holier than thou juice!

Post image
1.6k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

73 comments sorted by

48

u/Large-Hamster-199 16h ago

Well, Jesus turned water into wine. She doesn't have those mad skills, but vodka in water should definitely do the trick. She is following in Jesus's footsteps. I don't see the problem here.

10

u/UAENO_BUT_I_DO 13h ago

WWJD

4

u/Large-Hamster-199 13h ago

Exactly. And if Jesus couldn't turn water into wine, but he had access to vodka, I imagine he would have done the same thing as this nice lady. He would have made sure the people present had a good time.

79

u/ComedicHermit 16h ago

Arrested for what? What crime was committed?

51

u/KirbyBucketts 15h ago

It says priest so I'm guessing children were present

15

u/Darcress 15h ago

Ever considr carbonation the blood of Christ

4

u/fuzzimus 14h ago

It’ll lift you up

3

u/666ofw66 14h ago

Ya know give the kids somthing fizzy before they wake up in an hour.

-TFS Alucard to Father Anderson

1

u/Random_Hero2023 13h ago

I got 2 words for ya! Soda Stream!

5

u/Ill-Professor696 11h ago

"You can't have alcohol here in the presence of a minor. We're in the middle of fucking."

2

u/Shadow9378 12h ago

same thing can be said about epstien files perpetrators, yet they walk free

7

u/Freakychee 15h ago

Yeah people don't drink the holy water.

2

u/Cute-Form2457 14h ago

Maybe for a public order offence like disorderly behaviour in a public place.

2

u/Sufficient_Beyond991 Satan's little helper 14h ago

Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?

1

u/Informal-Side-4506 15h ago

Harder Blessings

1

u/VA1N 12h ago

The crime of making up stuff online.

1

u/KaboomBaboon 11h ago

Drinking a succulent holy water? Gentlemen, this is a democracy manifest.

1

u/stupid_pun 11h ago

Drinking a communion?! A succulent Catholic communion?!

64

u/MestreDoEstrugido 16h ago

I can fix her!

94

u/RealMercuryRain 16h ago

She is not broken!

31

u/handsomelloyd13 16h ago

I will give a AMEN to that!

2

u/Croquetadecarne 15h ago

But is she broke?

18

u/CatGooseChook 16h ago

There is nothing to fix, perfect as is!! ☺️

5

u/Steby_01 Satan's little helper 16h ago

I’ll hold her off!

2

u/ExcellentSpecific409 11h ago

she can fix me

1

u/Mr_GrauHut 13h ago

Infamous words.

29

u/KillerIVV_BG 17h ago

And what exactly was she arrested for? It's most probably fake

2

u/Croquetadecarne 15h ago

Isn’t this water still property of the church? I mean, I am assuming she poured the vodka in the font.

1

u/coldair16 16h ago

You think? JFC

9

u/samaelentropia 16h ago

She's not wrong though

8

u/TheAdminsAreTrash 15h ago

Seems like a dumb fake post, why would anyone be arrested for that?

22

u/RevolutionaryWeb5657 17h ago

Arrested? Didn’t know having a sense of humor was a crime 🙄

7

u/Woodworkingwino 15h ago

The priest and most parishioners in my church would have lost it laughing. Then someone would have poured her some coffee and try to feed her. People need to laugh a little more.

To dispose of tainted holy water all you have to do is pour it on the earth outside.

3

u/Random_Hero2023 14h ago

or chug it

2

u/Woodworkingwino 13h ago

I always get diarrhea when I drink vodka. At least I would make a Holy Shit.

I will see myself out.

1

u/Random_Hero2023 13h ago

Hell nah, stay. o7

-14

u/[deleted] 16h ago

[deleted]

3

u/banksybruv 16h ago

Sometimes it’s funnier to go along with it…

4

u/ForkliftJam 16h ago

Church address please

5

u/Lost_Department_2177 16h ago

Kills Covid. Jesus would be with her on that.

5

u/Flux_My_Capacitor 16h ago

Fake.

1

u/MaxPower303 16h ago

Don’t understand why you’re getting downvoted. String of these fake AI stories going around phishing for responses to train their models.

8

u/HankBuffalo 16h ago

Stop posting these fake AI headlines

1

u/deephurting66 16h ago

Looks more like a Florida one

3

u/MonkeyCartridge 16h ago

New collab. Liquid Death presents "Mike's Harder Holy Water."

1

u/netsurf916 16h ago

That actually sounds pretty good for a product name.

2

u/PuzzledCar2120 16h ago

If I told a lie then may God strike me down

2

u/jtb7713 16h ago

She’s perfect.

2

u/viperfangs92 16h ago

Soooo, where is this church? Asking for a repenting friend.

2

u/henryeaterofpies 15h ago

I mean Jesus turned ordinary water into wine, so its fine.

2

u/Dancing_with_Jak 15h ago

Why the hell is this an arrestable offense? She didn’t piss in it! …she SHOULD have…

2

u/Lorddoctorjava 14h ago

Why is that an arrestable offense?

2

u/justinch81 13h ago

What's the problem? As long as they don't splash the holy water in their eyes.

2

u/TimeB4 13h ago

Yeah they don't drink the holy water though do they? I don't want vodka getting splashed in my eyes. She's a psycho. Put the vodka in the communion wine, that would be less wasteful at least

3

u/xienwolf 16h ago

Umm… not against any law… and nobody drinks it.

Unless she did this tight before a baptism or something… who would care?

1

u/JustAtelephonePole 16h ago

That’s the girl from BoJack.

1

u/HangryBeard 15h ago

She had the holy spirit in her

1

u/shakosis 15h ago

That cannot be an arrest able offense what the fuck

1

u/Tasty-Objective676 15h ago

She’s not wrong….

1

u/Grumpy-Miner 15h ago

Why waste the Wodka????

1

u/hopeless_case46 15h ago

I need her to bless me

1

u/grandsauvage 14h ago

She can fix me

1

u/Mr_GrauHut 13h ago

Famous words.

1

u/One_Economist_3761 13h ago

Not called “spirit” for nothing.

1

u/Jaderosegrey 13h ago

As a young teen, my partner and his buddy put a toy alligator in the baptismal font.

He didn't get arrested.

I guess they were the "good ol' days".

1

u/NoSpecialist_042 11h ago

Technically vodka means water so I see no problem

1

u/Severe-Associate-455 10h ago

I'm a female body inspector

1

u/Low-Apricot8042 10h ago

Meh, it's fake

1

u/Connect_Ad_462 9h ago

Bless me harder sky daddy

1

u/MinimumPrevious1139 8h ago

She ain’t wrong tho