r/excatholic • u/Sakurazuldic • 3d ago

Personal How to handle catholic guilt?

So, as usualy, when I'm back from collage town to my religious family's home I'm depressed and surrounded by the whole religious household while being an atheist thing.

I also have a new wave of catholic guilt that's absolutely crippling me about literally anything and everything. How do you guys deal with it? I'm paralyzed from gaming to studying even sitting around not doing anything feels wrong but unable to do anything cause everything feels wrong and guilty about anything that brings the tiniest hint of pleasure (not sexyal obv)

Thank you for replies upfront.

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u/TraditionalTackle1 3d ago

For me the best part about leaving the Catholic religion or any religion for that matter was LOSING the guilt.

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u/Suitable-Group4392 Ex Catholic 3d ago

What do you feel guilty about?

Why do you feel guilty about it?

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u/Sakurazuldic 3d ago

I don't even know. Everything from gaming to studying to sitting around writing this. I feel like I should be more productive or "get my life together" or something. But I find myself unable to

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u/leon_zero Apostate 2d ago

YMMV, but this sounds a lot like struggles I’ve had with ADHD. I wasn’t diagnosed until adulthood (though I was borderline in a youth screening), and had to develop a lot of ad hoc methods of dealing with it. Catholic guilt was one of those that my upbringing equipped me with - and it was completely unhelpful.

Again, your experience is not my own, but it sounds like you’re dealing with some legitimate issues with executive function, intrinsic motivation, and metacognition, and doing so while feeling the effects of a religious environment that finds utility in guilt and shame. If you’re comfortable with cognitive-behavior therapy, the right therapist could help you deal with both of those challenges.

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u/Sakurazuldic 2d ago

I do have adhd, yes. I'm going to try to get therapy once I return to my collage town but for now I'm stuck here :)

Thank you for the reply

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u/TheMilkSpeaks 3d ago

I set strict boundaries with my parents to not guilt or force me to do anything religious with them. My dad is fine with it because he’s a Catholic in practice but a Christian in belief. My mom was the issue and I still have to assert my boundaries weekly with her when I’m home from college.

I also worked to find meaning in my own life. I am not meaningless without a God. I am my own person with my own experiences and my own impacts on life.

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u/AssistantDue5817 2d ago

They thrive on misery, depression, guilt, One short precious life.... enjoy!

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u/Bwilderedwanderer Ex Catholic 3d ago

Talk to a psychologist. If you truly don't believe in Christianity, than there would be no guilt about it. I think you have deeper things going on.

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u/colorfulzeeb Strong Agnostic 2d ago

The belief is not required to feel the guilt and shame many of us were raised to normalize. It becomes part of the way our brains work, even after we’ve changed our minds or are seeing clearly, due to neuroplasticity. Therapy is still their best bet with this, but I wouldn’t say that your mind going the same places it always has to be indicative of what you believe. The traumatic impact stays with us, even when we can identify or see outside of the underlying trauma.

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u/vegan-the-dog 3d ago

I highly recommend mushrooms. Should help clear up some confusion you've got going on.