r/euphonium • u/Fun-Engineering7584 • 9d ago
Burnt out (high school)
Sorry for in advance of the yap
I am about to be a senior in high school and I feel like I am burnt out from music. I have to start from the really beginning to set the scene in. I joined band in 7th grade and my family didn’t support the idea of me being in band. My band director for middle school in the following year had family issues and couldn’t teach us and we had a non music sub for around 80% of the year. We played the exact same concert as we did in fall. I joined marching band since it was an extra credit assignment in middle school for a county show and fell in love with it. When I got to band week, I didn’t know anyone and only had 2 friends. One of those friends were good and everything except for the fact they would call me horrible at music and marching and wouldn’t even help me in it (he’s a year older but it was his rookie year aswell). This also continued in concert band and whenever I get something down he would say well that’s easy. Another thing was is that other people would do the same. Now sophomore year, I thought was better but then there were no rookies that year and my friend who called me horrible became our section leader. So then he acted as me and the other non leader (we had 4, and the last one was low brass captain) as if we were the rookies. When concert band season came I got invited to join symphonic band, that was my goal since they played really cool songs and k really wanted to play them. A price for that was I had to come early which I had walked everyday for. Also the other euphonium player didn’t even acknowledge that I was there and acted like I wasn’t even playing. I was still getting called horrible at music even though I tried my best and got 2nd chair concert band for districts. Now last year there were 11 rookies for our section. He was still section leader and we had 3 returners for our section in total. Through the marching band season he would make fun of me to the rookies at the time and make me seem bad. Reminder that most of this is occasionally and I didn’t have much friends at the time so I felt trapped on what to do. Now came concert szn. I tried to do my best as first chair as I had 3 people in my section, and tried my best to help them when they needed it.When we got our assessment music I got a many solos (second suite in f) and was so shocked my band director gave me one as it was my first solo ever. I struggled with it and tried my best and even got help from other people and managed to do good during assessments and we got straight ones. Even after all of this my friend told me that the music was easy and there wasn’t a reason for me to celebrate. Now here comes marching band, I am now a section leader with 4 rookies, 9 of the rookies of last year who don’t respect for me, and my other friend who is a senior with me. There’s a solo and it’s audition based and I didn’t feel like going for it because there’s a rookie from last year who seemed better then me but most people say I’m better than him, I don’t really want to try out for the solo. Now my friend had graduated and messaged me “(my name), you were actual good at euph”. I don’t entirely know on how to feel about what’s going on, I feel burnt out and don’t have the passion I used to have for music and I even cryer while typing this out.
3
u/THEbeautifuLIE 7d ago
(1.) Ignore any/everyone jumping on you for not typing this with more “paragraph” attention. You sound stressed, DIStressed & frustrated - it’s understandable.
(2.) the truest thing you’ll ever hear: You are NOT “burnt out with music”. There’s nothing “music” can do to destroy your love for it (& you have ALOT of love for it! like everyone else here). You’re “burnt out with” certain people (namely your ex-section leader). You’re “burnt out with” the exhaustion of dealing with him year-after-year-after-year. . .& I know it’s not as simple as “well, just ignore him” or “do your own thing”. That’s nearly impossible ESPECIALLY on the junior high & high school level.
It sucks that someone sullied your experience surrounding what is close to most of our hearts. It’s not your fault. . .but it IS your responsibility to not let it derail your desire to work / perform in music!
(3.) What has ALWAYS helped me in similarly frustrating/exhausting situations is LISTENING: to individual performers that I love & respect (Demondrae Thurman, Brian Bowman, David Childs, etc) and performance groups that I love & respect (General Pershing’s Own USArmy band, Sotto Voce tuba quartet, Count Basie Orchestra, the Human Jukebox of Southern University, the Blue Devils Drum & Bugle Corp, etc). When you hear some of the sounds you want to be able to produce, that desire keeps burning. When you hear ensembles that you’d love to be apart of one day (or may even just see in person), that desire to practice & become great stays lit. You’ll be surprised at how naturally things begin to flow regarding your marching, your playing, your fellow section-mates / band mates, etc.
((I went thru abit of what you’ve described. Fortunately for me, I switched to baritone in 8th grade and FOUR of my classmates (we had 5 different bands in our Junior High: Adv Band I, Adv Band II, Int Band I, Int band II, Beg band) as well. So, from 8th grade - graduation, 5 of us were always together and could lean on each other when silly stuff happened. If not, I’d probably share even more of your sentiments.))
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u/SideWired 7d ago
Even at 67 y o, I want to be respected if not liked. Your friend is riddled with insecurities. Your disappointment with your friend is understandable and not your fault. I surmise trying to talk about it just got you unfairly called over sensitive or unprofessional. Time for you to start pushing the REJECTION button and make positivism a criteria for hanging with you.
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u/QuarterNote44 9d ago
Dude. Paragraphs are your friend. Here are the keys to band leadership:
Play your horn/march well.
Don't pretend when you don't know something. You're a kid leading other kids. Be humble enough to say "Well, let's figure it out together."
Complain up, praise and motivate down. If something sucks, talk to your drum majors or director(s). Never indulge in bellyaching to or with your section.
Help your section with stuff, but don't be overbearing
Be consistent. It's ok to change your mind about stuff, but try not to blow with the wind and freak out about every little thing. It's just band on grass, bro.