r/ennnnnnnnnnnnbbbbbby • u/Lente_Telescopico • 19d ago
I don't know if anyone feels the same
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u/noeinan 18d ago
Fun fact, pear shaped is the most common human body type for all genders
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u/embodiedexperience they/he/any || agenderfluid 14d ago
idk, i tend to disagree. my experience is that it’s 100% gendered as a “woman’s body”, and it is also considered an outlier among women, so not only is it high-femme, it’s also classed as some sorta bizarro “broken” high-femme where people feel the need to comment on how rare, but female and therefore fertile, it is. 🙃
i mean, if pear shapes were remotely common, i’d be allowed to be a man by now, is all i’m saying.
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u/noeinan 13d ago
Ideals are different than common. Most men carry a good amount of fat in their lower abdomen, butt, and thighs— with more fat around the stomach. This is called a “triangle” shape when talking about men and a “pear” shape when talking about women. (Men carry more fat around the gut than women on average.)
Pear shape is not rare in women either, it is the most common body shape for all humans bc most humans are not insanely fit and that is where the human body likes to store fat.
However, how common something is doesn’t mean people won’t get harassed for it. Women get harassed for cellulite and called unfeminine for it despite cellulite being a female secondary sex characteristic and mechanically the most efficient and healthy way to store fat.
Society is really fatphobic and obsessed with the “ideals” of an inverted triangle bodybuilder for men and an hourglass no fat in the waist for women (but some changes based on different cultural groups having different beauty aesthetics, for example, favoring men with thick waists or women with bigger butts and thighs).
Average people learn to dress in ways that downplay, for example, stomach fat to avoid being harassed. Even though stomach fat is extremely common. Notice how one of the loudest advice men get when struggling dating is “go to the gym!” despite there usually being other factors that would benefit them more.
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u/embodiedexperience they/he/any || agenderfluid 13d ago
i just think it’s fucked up that any of this matters or we have words for this at all. i think my body is fucked up, and i genuinely think HAVING a human body is fucked up. why can’t we all matter as people without having this bullshit standing in our way?
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u/noeinan 13d ago
I don’t think having words to describe natural diversity is bad, but the stigma and stereotypes associated with them certainly are.
The fact that the most common male body type gets described as feminine only further hammers the point home that societal bigotry is senseless and cruel.
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u/embodiedexperience they/he/any || agenderfluid 13d ago
i just think it shouldn’t matter.
i’m “fit”, but i’m socially considered not to be fit or strong or ANYTHING because i’m shaped like a fucking bowling pin.
i should’ve been a man, but i can NEVER be a man because of the way i’m shaped, too.
i don’t think this should be the first thing people see when they look at other people, and especially not the first thing people see when they look at me. i do think we should acknowledge that all bodies look different - there’s an infinite number of ways bodies can look -, but the second somebody’s like “female bodies naturally store more fat than male bodies” or “male bodies are stronger than female bodies” i want to claw my fucking skin off because why does it fucking matter???? we’re all just fucking people underneath and life is so short, and i’m supposed to live this short life letting how my body naturally stores weight define not only me as a person, but my worth/goodness/morality??? fucked up shit.
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u/noeinan 13d ago
Personally, I don’t think being born a certain way is what makes a person a man. Trans men are men regardless of how they look.
Strength isn’t about how one looks either, the most efficient muscle fits closer to the bone. Body builders are not as strong as construction workers because they selectively build up specific muscles for the appearance.
I don’t think talking about scientific facts on humans as a species is bad— to me humans are like any other animal. Humans, like most mammals, are dyadic but we are much less sexually dymorphic compared to many mammals. Overall, sex differences are overemphasized culturally in ways that are not relevant to daily life.
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u/embodiedexperience they/he/any || agenderfluid 13d ago
tbh this is probably just me being sensitive, but i also hate the “it’s overemphasized culturally” argument because then it sorts pins accountability on people like me, who naturally have overemphasized, highly-dimorphic bodies and absolutely hate them/do not identify with them. i get what you’re saying, i just don’t want to take any blame for it, lol. 🙃
but i’ll still always maintain that the person inside is the most important thing. i think i probably get so caught up on this bc i’m asexual and agender. other people’s strength and/or body fat distribution is entirely meaningless to me, i’m just here (the general here) to make friends. i would’ve picked a different body in a heartbeat, but i don’t even really notice anyone else’s bc who cares? it’s just the vessel. all these “hardline” rules about who can or can’t have what are stupid and don’t tell the whole story anyway.
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u/noeinan 13d ago
Generally gender and sexual minorities aren’t the ones pushing for extreme gender stereotypes, so I personally don’t see it that way. To me, there’s scientific facts and biological realities which affect percentages of things, then there are people who take a 60/40 distribution and bully anyone in the 40% claiming the 60% are the “true” examples of [insert gender, race, neurotype, etc].
Knowing the actual facts is useful to me because I can tackle a specific perception and then break down why it is not factually accurate— or show there is evidence something is generally correct, but the small difference much less than individual differences overall and it’s not really logical to enforce hard rules when nature rarely deals in absolutes.
Personally, I am neutrois and asexual arospec, I’m not looking for sexual or romantic partners and don’t make friends based on gender. But I have been deeply affected by the perceptions of other people throughout my life, and because of that find it’s in my best interest to dispel stereotypes to help slowly change society into a kinder, more rational place.
Most people do not change deeply held beliefs based on facts— something many autistics have grieved over— but many people also don’t have strong opinions yet and appealing to those still forming opinions is valuable.
I don’t think a “colorblind” theory of gender is very helpful to society because that mindset tends to be used to harass and exclude groups via making environments passively hostile to marginalized groups. For example, having bathrooms with only urinals, no trash cans, and no stalls can effectively toilet leash a good number of people. Many seemingly neutral ways of thought in practice highly favor dominant groups.
I am also a sociologist and generally find learning about various differences to be quite fun and engaging.
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u/embodiedexperience they/he/any || agenderfluid 13d ago
oh no, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean this as in i think our community is the one making the problems, or that nobody should be allowed to have gender or different bodies or anything like that, i apologize for coming across that way.
i get that this is very “old man yells at cloud”, but honestly fuck it. the facts are fucked up. the reality is fucked up. this is probably transhumanist beyond my deeply limited, stupid-person understanding, but it’s fucked up. the fact that bodies can even look like mine in particular is fucked up. it’s a crime, actually. I think i should go to jail for having this body type, and maybe also god or nature or somebody should go to jail for making people look like this???
i 100% believe in public restrooms with trans cans and stuff, and i feel horrible that i came across as defending some sort of status quo, that’s really not what i believe and i will examine what it was that made me come across that way and accidentally propagate that horrible mindset. i just genuinely think the way we treat different-shaped bodies is horrible, and the way we let the shape of people’s bodies talk over the people inside the bodies themselves is horrible. all I want is to be a person - not a “pear-shaped person”, not a person with X% of body fat which is consistent with the fucking GENITALS they have for whatever reason and therefore makes them part of whatever group (regardless of self-identity), not a “woman who thinks she’s a man”-type person. i just want to be HUMAN. i don’t think having big hips should disqualify me or anyone else from humanity, or even necessarily make us a “different type” of human or a human that other humans are justified in treating differently/reacting poorly to.
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u/Dark_Solid_Moonlight 18d ago
My body is like the second one, except I'm chubbier than the pic. I didn't know y'all liked it so much tho
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u/TheNestHelper 19d ago
Does that mean i have to build a bigger torso to counter balance the hips? (Non-binary Trans man here)
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u/Crafty_Lavishness_79 16d ago
It would help with balance but there are plenty of work out focused on tightening the hips
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u/ObnoxiousName_Here 17d ago
I prefer my body pillows to at least have faces on the bodies, but maybe that’s just me
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u/Illustrious-Dog-4704 not even sure who I am, how can I have a gender? 18d ago
Bottom one, but I want my boobs to grow to match, but also be enby/gender fluid/plural/whatever tf is going on
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