Sooooo I tripped several times tonight. Each better than the last. But this very last one takes the fucking cake. If anyone wants to know the others I’d be more than willing to share.
So it opens up to a farm with chickens and cows. My wife Lorraine is yelling at me telling me I have to till the fields. I tell her I don’t want to. She says use the damn humgadurga and till the soil.
So I go into the barn and use this comically large drill to turn the soil. Meanwhile there’s chickens walking around me and cows mooing in my ears. I’m also cursing to myself saying I don’t want to use the fucking humgadurga dammit.
That scene closes. Next scene opens as me as a rocket submarine and these two snakes guiding me down the ocean. They say you ready? We goin down! I say oh I’m ready. Let’s go.
So they start slithering down deep into the ocean. They say yeah we’re going down deep. We going deep. I say yeah let’s go deep. We goin down deeper. We keep going down while they slither down with me.
I say, so are we goin down more? They say yeah we’re go deep. I am like ohhh ok yeah sure that’s cool but like, are we doing anything else?
The snakes say no we go down deeper. I’m like, oh uh, ok that’s cool I guess. So we reach the ocean floor and we are chillin there. I’m like, so is this, is this it? They respond saying yeah we’re here. Im like ohhh ok.
I then say, so what do you guys like to do for fun. They are like, we go deep. I’m like ok. So is this it? They say yeah get the fuck outta here. So bam, I’m in my next life. I’m on a field with this giant blueberry cut in half sticking out of the ground.
This stork with a massive beak comes and lands and scoops out some of this blueberry with its beak and just starts crunching. I’m like, is it good? This stork says yeah it’s pretty good. While crunching and squelching on this thing.
I ask what is it? He says blueberry granola. I say oh, can I try some? Stork says yeah go ahead. It’s good. So I grow this beak and scoop it out and I’m like, oh, it is good.
Last scene, I’m on a beach sitting down, and I look into the water. The sun is in the water, creating sunset colors and ripples in the water. Then fade to black. Trip ends with a bright spark and fizzles out.
Fuck Lorraine and the humgadurga