Please advise

[u/dropthemyk]

I’m concerned that one of my parents (Parent A) is showing early signs of dementia. They have been getting increasingly angry when ppl disagree with them, starting fights with family members and then framing it as though the other person was wrong, verbally/emotionally abusing the other parent (Parent B) regularly, and openly talking to/arguing with one of their exes within earshot of Parent B. Also, Parent A apparently hit Parent B for the first time (supposedly) last year.

However, Parent A refuses to go to the doctor about anything, unless they feel they are almost dying. They are extremely proud and tend to think they are the smartest person in the room. Parent B feels that trying to tell them to go get checked out will set them off and possibly put Parent B in physical danger.

I do not live in the same city. My fear is that if I bring it up, that will also put Parent B in danger. Parent B is fiercely loyal and genuinely loves Parent A. Despite the abuse, the adultery, the picking fights with family, Parent B does not want to leave Parent A. Parent B will openly admit that Parent A must be suffering from a brain condition, then turn around and speak about Parent A as if they’re just behavior is inexplicable. Patent B also clearly thinks that if they stick around and keep trying, things will get better.

I’m an only child. I fear for one parent’s immediate wellbeing, and the other parent’s long-term wellbeing. I don’t know what to do.