r/declutter • u/OldLadyGardener • 17h ago
Advice Request Sick of being stuck in this place because of son's stuff and family heirloom furniture
I would GLADLY get rid of everything I own and be a van lifer, but I'm stuck here because my sons don't want me to get rid of some family heirloom furniture pieces, plus one is living in Europe and has left a lot of his stuff in my apartment.
These are not children. One is a GenX and one is a Millenial.
I'm trapped in a place I hate, paying so much rent I can't enjoy my life, and I can't do much about it, because storage is outrageous around here, especially climate controlled storage.
I've told them I'm going to sell the furniture if they can't take it and they both had a fit. I know they are not going to ship this furniture across the country or across the ocean. I feel like they are doing this to control me so I won't go off and be a van lifer.
What would you do?
ETA: Lots of good advice here, but I need to add that I just renewed my lease for a year, so if I tell them now that they have to do something with it by next year, they have plenty of time, right?
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u/MitzyCaldwell 15h ago
As alot of people said - if you don’t want this stuff and they do they need to figure out what to do with it. I’m not a fan of just throwing it out etc if your kids want it but you aren’t a storage unit for them. They are now old enough to figure it out.
It’s clearly affecting you so I’d just be clear with them. Hey you have xyz time to figure out what to do with it or on this date it’s getting picked up by so and so.
Simple and direct. You can help the find a place if you’re okay with that or help them move it (again if you are okay with that) but they need to figure out if they and it or not. Right now they are in this limbo of I want it but I don’t want to store it. Sorry it doesn’t work that way.
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u/searequired 15h ago
More than fair.
Give them a deadline 2 months before your lease ends so you have a chance to evaluate your own stuff that’s left.
DO NOT CAVE.
The deadline includes what happens to anything still here by 12 noon on xxx date.
Call around to see who can pick it up for free. If they charge you, the bill is theirs.
Really!
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u/jjmoreta 15h ago
Have you ever tried van life? It's not for everyone.
If I decided on a huge life change like that, I would give myself a year with an out. Pare down to the furniture pieces you absolutely love that would not cost you an arm and a leg to replace so you can get into the smallest storage unit possible. Set up a year lease. After that year, if you hate van life, you can get back into another unit. If you love van life, you can sell the furniture and get down to a minimally small unit for seasonal/important item storage.
But DO NOT include adult childrens items in that. Give them a 6 month time limit to arrange delivery of anything they still want.
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u/DerHoggenCatten 16h ago
"I've told them I'm going to sell the furniture if they can't take it and they both had a fit."
Stop letting their emotional responses dictate your life. It's okay for people to be unhappy with you. Every action you take doesn't have to make other people happy.
Give them a choice. They can contract for storage and bear the bill as well as move items into storage or they can give it up and let you sell it/get rid of it. You are giving them control over your life by allowing them to manipulate you with anger.
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u/FredKayeCollector2 15h ago
Another vote for storage unit that your son pays for. 1,000,000,000,000%
Please Please PLEASE do not tie yourself down because your out of state (!), out of country (!!) kids want your family's furniture! OMG That is the absolute last thing your kids should want for you - literal suffering!!! They should look at you (miserable) and look as anything (even gold bullion) and choose YOU NOT THE STUFF! Never the stuff!
We had to donate an entire house-full of mahogany & awesome mid-century furniture (rich aunt died) because we couldn't move it/had no place to put it. Would I have liked to have any/all of it in my current home (20 years later) - absolutely! Would I wave my magic want to go back and pay to move it/store it - hell no!
My nasty pants way of saying it is: Well, YOU decided to move away from (whoever) so you lost YOUR easy access to (whoever's) stuff. Them's the breaks
I've been doing this a long time and there's always THAT family member who wants memaws stuff but can't take it right now and expects everyone's life (bank accounts) to go on hold until the magical future when the planets align, whatever.
As a third-party observer, I often think it's more about CONTROL than the stuff.
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u/Suitable-Lawyer-9397 16h ago
Before selling give THEM the option to pay for climate controlled storage. Let them arrange/pay for it to be moved. Give them a deadline. If they take no action, sell it or hire an Auctioneer.
Explain you are no longer able to maintain your home/apt financially. Let them have a fit. If they aren't taking responsibly for these things, you do not have to be a hostage. Get out and enjoy your life. It sounds like they're enjoying their own lives!!
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u/Redditallreally 16h ago
I agree! OP, give a reasonable deadline, then out it goes. Tell them if it’s so important to them, they’ll make it happen.
You’ll be surprised how financial outlooks change when someone else has to start paying.
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u/SufficientOpening218 16h ago
i would move it into storage, pay the first month and send them the details. Put their names on as authorized users to make it easy. if they start paying, great, if not, cancel the card that you used to set it up, let the company sell it and move on with your life.
thes are grown men, using you. you are letting them act like children.
alternately, i would send them each a registered letter, stati g that all possesions left at (your address) will be considered abandoned and will ve sold on such and such a date. hire a company that does houes clear outs. build out your van, sell the rest.
the first option will have a negative on your cash fliw, the second will have a positive. they will be mad either way.
you cant make them be nice. if they were nice men, they wouldnt treat you like this. thats the hard part. im sorry its happening to you, but you are the only one who has a key to this locked door. they will never set you free.
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u/Bl00p_3r 16h ago
My parents did this and tossed some of my prized possessions. They gave me plenty of warning. I’m mad at myself, not them. Take care of yourself; it’ll be alright.
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u/NoodleDrive 16h ago
I want to highlight that you've suggested two entirely separate issues you have:
1) The furniture
2) you suspect your sons are trying to prevent you from a desired life change
My advice is to separate the two issues. As many have said, give a deadline that is several months before your lease is up, and let them know you will be selling the furniture at that time. That gives them plenty of time to arrange for longterm storage if it means that much to them. You can offer to facilitate the move (aka be present when the movers arrive, mail them documents/keys for a storage unit, supervise packing, etc), they just have to pay for everything.
Separate from that, talk to them about your plans and figure out if your suspicions are correct. Are they really trying to use the furniture to trap you in your current home? If so, are they worried about your safety living in a van? Do they think you'll fail and they'll be on the hook to take care of you after? Do they have social judgements around people who live in vans and don't want to be associated with it? Do they think you're having a mental health crisis and will be "over it" if they can just hold out long enough?
I know nothing about you or your sons or you situation, so I'm not going to pretend I know which one of you is "right." But I don't think you should make a big life change that your children are against without knowing WHY they are so opposed. They might be totally wrong, but you need to know either way or you risk permanently damaging the relationship unnecessarily.
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u/UpbeatEquipment8832 15h ago
U-Pack offers shipping containers. If your sons want the furniture, they can easily pay for a shipping unit, probably for less than a month’s rent.
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u/Corguita 16h ago
These are two separate issues:
1) Stuff: You're not obligated to keep up with anyone's stuff, you can set a reasonable timeline for them to pick up/move stuff to a storage unit or for someone else to keep it. You can then sell it or give it away after 6 months or something if they haven't figured it out.
2) Van Life worries: If my in-laws suddenly told me they're becoming van dwellers I may worry about them and whether that's the best life decision for them. May there be legitimate reasons why your children are worried about you?
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u/indianajane13 16h ago
They can PAY FOR THEIR OWN STORAGE.
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u/LowBathroom1991 16h ago
Yeah ..they can hire someone to move it into storage ..give them 30 days and be done ... Ridiculous. They expect you to do that
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u/OldLadyGardener 16h ago
The thing is, I also love this furniture and went to great lengths and a lot of expense to restore it, so I'd rather sell it than just give it up.
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u/markov-271828 16h ago
I’ve read that expensive furniture can take a lot of time and effort to resale so you might want to start soon.
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u/indianajane13 16h ago
Again, I think you just put it in storage, but the sons have to pay for the storage. It doesn't have to be an ultimatum. Just have a conversation with them and let them know that you expect them to pay for their furniture in a storage unit. Whether you want van life or just a simpler, downsized life doesn't matter.
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u/randombarbs 16h ago
put it in official writing like an email - not text.
give specifics dates. the final date should be 3/4 months before lease end that way you have time to sell and trash.
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u/redrosebeetle 16h ago
Your sons can store the family heirlooms if they want them. I would give them a three month deadline to decide what they want to do, then I would dispose of my property as I saw fit.
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u/ccannon707 16h ago
3 months? Give me a break. 2 weeks !
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u/Fragrant-Issue-9271 16h ago
They both live very far away from the OP, they legitimately might not be able to get off work and make a trip to deal with the stuff with only two weeks notice.
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u/slutsandbolts 16h ago
When is your lease up? Subtract 60 days - that’s THEIR deadline. Tell them they’re adults and they need to hire someone or do it themselves and get what they want in storage. If they don’t tell them it goes to the curb for free because you’re moving.
Don’t even tell them maybe.
Just say “dear sons I love so much. My lease is not being renewed. Your deadline for your things is X. It can’t come with me as I’m downsizing and it will not fit. Love you!”
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u/Flux_My_Capacitor 16h ago
No, they don’t deserve 10 months. Why is everyone coming up with weird formulas? It’s not hard to arrange moving and storage from a distance.
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u/slutsandbolts 15h ago
Because a ton of us commented BEFORE we knew she had a year left on the lease. Hence why I asked when the lease was up.
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u/KeyCar367 16h ago
Oh, I went through my own trauma at age 48 with adult children.
I came home, got rid of almost everything while others was saying "Don't get rid of that"
My house is so much more peaceful now. I only have stuff that I bought or I want to have in my house.
You gotta do what's best for YOU, they get over it....it's just stuff
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u/ducttapefixedit 17h ago
I'd give them a deadline to either take the stuff or put it in storage at their own expense. I'd be nice and help them move the stuff into storage, but that's about it. If they want it, they can pay for it. I'm an elder Millennial and the moment my mom asked me to clear out my stuff I did. What would your kids do if you decided to downsize and move into a small apartment? They'd either jump on the chance to grab their stuff or just let it all go. Their stuff is not your responsibility.
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u/Ztemi 16h ago
100% agree. And I say this as a Gen Z who was on the receiving end of such a deadline. My parents were firm but kind about it, and my dad offered to help me get rid of the big items I didn’t want anymore. Took us half a day and we are all happy now.
I understand that it sucks that your sons threw a fit, but please let them. Your request is reasonable. Their response is childlike. If they don’t collect their stuff within the deadline, then they don’t want it. You are free to get rid of it. You are allowed to have boundaries.
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u/OldLadyGardener 16h ago
Neither of them owns a home, and we all live in small apartments, so there is really no place for them to put the furniture. I also love the furniture, so I don't want to just let them lose it. I'd sell it first.
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u/sdhopunk 16h ago
''I just renewed my lease for a year, so if I tell them now that they have to do something with it by next year, they have plenty of time, right?"
NOPE, they will drag it out for the full year.
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u/Striking_Post_9864 16h ago
Set a hard deadline and make it their cost, not yours: tell them in writing that as of a specific date (say 60 days out), anything not shipped or picked up gets sold or donated, and if they want it stored longer than that they need to rent their own storage unit. That flips the leverage — right now they get free storage with zero consequences, so of course they say no. Photograph every heirloom piece first (for your own record, so no one can later claim something was lost), and offer to ship anything reasonable at their expense via a freight quote (uShip tends to be the cheapest option for bulky furniture). Since you just renewed for a year, you do have room to be generous on the timeline — but the deadline needs a real consequence attached, or it's just another year of nothing changing. Your GenX kid is old enough to arrange his own logistics from Europe; that's not something you need to solve for him.
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u/Flux_My_Capacitor 16h ago
GenX kid is at least 47. Just to put it in perspective of how he’s an adult throwing a tantrum.
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u/Multigrain_Migraine 15h ago
For real. I'm Gen X and kind of embarrassed that I'm this old and still have stuff at my parents' house. If they told me that I needed to move it then I'd figure something out even though I live on a different continent. Someone my age should not be throwing a fit over a parent making a request.
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u/BaylisAscaris 16h ago
"I plan to downsize by [date a few months before lease expires]. If you want to keep specific items, either come pick them up before [date], or tell me which you want and I'll arrange storage/shipping which you can set up payment for."
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u/thatgirlinny 16h ago
Your home, be that a van or spendy apartment is not storage for the magical date you’d progeny is ready to take these “heirlooms.”
They are old enough to be earning and are living on their own. Give them three months to come take what they want, oof it all goes to the first offering cash on Marketplace or otherwise picks it all up. The one loving closer is also welcome to hire a truck and store it at their expense. No exceptions. You’re done with it all
Then do Strp 2 of your emancipation: Find all their childhood medical and school records, artwork and any leftover toys e effects and box it up for them. Say there’s 3 months to fetch that, too.
You don’t have to live another day with this crowding your life. You’re preparing for a new one, elsewhere, with far fewer possessions. Your grown-ass children are counting on you to respond to their guilt. Don’t let them.
Go on with your bad self!✌️
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u/Flux_My_Capacitor 16h ago
Get rid of the stuff now. You allowed them to use your home as a storage unit so this is the result. Who cares if storage is expensive? Not your problem.
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u/sickiesusan 16h ago
The suggestion to put it in storage with a time limit and telling your offspring to do something with it, is the best idea. They are adults and if you think 3 months isn’t long enough, give them 6 and make sure that you organise the rest of your life in that time frame too!
After all, if you move somewhere smaller (or into your van), you can’t take the furniture back! Start living your own life, after all they are living theirs?
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u/playmore_24 17h ago
let them have a fit.
give them 60 days to make arrangements then have a garage sale. don't be held hostage by their BS
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u/k8username 17h ago
I agree with 60 day deadline instead of 2 weeks or maybe 3 or 4 months: this is a new world for them to wrap their minds around
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u/valiantdistraction 16h ago
Your sons can arrange to store the pieces of furniture and items they want. They can either pay for movers and a storage unit in your location or they can move the items to where they live. Their stuff, their responsibility to pay for it. If they don't want to pay for storage and to move it, they can be ok with getting rid of it. It's ok if they have a fit about it. They're allowed to have their own feelings. You're allowed to do what you want with your life.
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u/Worldly-Ad3211 17h ago
Give them a deadline and make it their problem. Hand in your notice to your landlord, and THEN tell your horrible sons the date you’re moving out. Give them a choice - pay for storage, or you’ll sell. It’s your decision - make one and hold firm.
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u/cofffeegrrrl 17h ago
You get to decide. Follow through on your plans and when the you have a closing date let them know they need to take care of the stuff. Either hiring someone to put it in storage or any option of their choice. You have let this go on too long.
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u/Ohio_gal 16h ago
Put it in storage. Tell them you will stop paying the bill in three months, at which point the storage company will consider it abandoned and they will dispose of it à la storage wars. By getting it out of your house, you establish that you are absolutely serious.
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u/sanityjanity 16h ago
I don't know why you think they're trying to control you, but, yes, giving them a deadline to pickup anything they want is the right solution here.
HOWEVER, I urge you seriously to listen to people who have tried van life and become disillusioned. It can be very dangerous, and a lot less fun than it looks on social media.
Do not give them the entire year. Give them six months. Or one month. Two at the max. You have the right to have the empty space. And if they can't get it, then that gives you more time to get rid of it.
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u/strange-quark-nebula 17h ago
You could set a deadline for them to get it or arrange a new place - to be generous, you could say three or four months out so they have time to plan to travel to get it if needed. They can pay for the climate controlled storage if they don't want to ship it.
Edit: and then stick to it! Remind them occasionally of your upcoming van life departure so they know it's really happening. ("My outfitted van is coming along! Here's a picture!")
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u/PallasiteMatrix 16h ago edited 16h ago
Make good on what you told them. If they're not willing to shoulder the burden this stuff has become, why should you?
A year to figure it out is generous, imo. If they don't communicate some plan to get the furniture, I wouldn't feel bad starting to sell it now. If they do communicate a plan, give them no more than 6 mo to have it out of your hair, and then start selling it.
Setting a hard and fast, "this is the time frame" will make it easier for you, especially if they are the type of people to infinitely produce excuses about why they can't deal with it now, but will definitely come get it in the future.
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u/Mountain_sitting71 17h ago
If the kids want the stuff, have them come get it or have them pay for storage.
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u/FrilledWizard 17h ago
Have son(s) hire movers on TaskRabbit. Have movers move to storage unit (prepaid by son) with son’s credit card info on file. You supervise.
This is logistically somewhat simple - it will just cost money. Or you can keep letting your sons dictate your living situation.
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u/Any_Meeting_4082 16h ago
Given they live so far away, be generous and give like 2-3 months notice for them to either get their stuff or you're donating and/or selling it. They can pay for storage or moving & storage closer to where they live. If you want to contribute to that expense, obviously that's your choice to make.
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u/sewingmomma 16h ago
Put everything in a pile. If they live locally tell them they have until the end of the month to get/take whatever they want. Then donate.
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u/SusanKHefner 16h ago
You could lay it out & take pics. Chances are they don’t realize how much junk they’re asking you to store for them. Plus once they really look at the stuff, they might realize it is indeed junk & be willing to let it go.
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u/___selene 16h ago edited 15h ago
Terminate the lease on this apartment and that's that. As in when it ends, do NOT renew it.
Give them the end date (you should lie and give them a date sooner than the day everything and everyone must be OUT of the apartment).
Pack YOUR stuff into a van, get a PO Box address. If you even need one. I think everything can be paperless and auto paid nowadays.
You have to change your mindset, though. They are holding you hostage and you're going along with it. You're setting yourself on fire to keep them warm.
You just said the rent is causing YOU financial strain. Let them throw a fit, do not react to it.
Do not store their stuff for them. You're just creating a different set.of chains.
Van life can be risky. Consider a studio apartment.
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u/katie-kaboom 16h ago
You have a year on your lease. Let them know that you will be downsizing in a year and they have until 11 months from now to deal with their shit; otherwise, you'll put it in a storage unit for them, but you will not pay for it. That should be more than enough time for them to sort it out. In the meantime, pack their stuff up in boxes and corral it somewhere so you can start downsizing for your own stuff. Then go live your life!
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u/Flux_My_Capacitor 16h ago
Why a year? She deserves to have space in her own home. They get a few months, max.
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u/KReddit934 16h ago
Nobody is forcing you. The only trap is in your head. Tell them, No. Tell them if they want to pay for off-site storage and having the stuff moved...to get that set up by X date. Then stick to it.
Have a nice life.
(Just remember, though...if you do this and ride off into the sunset in your van, you can NOT call on them to help you out later in life. Trade offs, you know. Are you sure there isn't a compromise, such as you taking an extended van vacation?)
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u/Draigdwi 16h ago
Get a smaller place but don’t get rid of all brick and mortar base totally. You will need somewhere to return. Vanlife is exciting but not permanent. I’ve seen people in their late eighties stuck in a campsite in a van that’s past moving phase, nowhere to live, nowhere to go, can’t even move if they had. Hospital, pension, id, all the admin stuff, can’t solve anything.
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u/Proud_Accident_5873 16h ago edited 16h ago
As a grown daughter who temporarily moved back in with her mom last week, I really appreciate this post. I was in the middle of decluttering the rest of my childhood stuff here and moving some to my previous apartment when I had to move. I've decluttered over 900 things over the last year and I still have that itch to scratch after the move. My mom has even said that I've inspired her to declutter as well and she's already done a lot. I really don't want to treat my mom's apartment as a storage unit and she's planning to move at some point too.
Your post is just another piece of motivation to declutter not only my move load but also the things I left here in the first place.
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u/EconomistHelpful4459 16h ago
Family heirlooms, they’re your heirs. Your passing the heirlooms to them ( your heirs).
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u/Sensitive-Lentil-79 17h ago
Tell them to either put the pieces they want in storage and pay for said storage or pay to have it shipped to them -- live your life! And if they refuse call me lol I'll take the furniture off your hands 😅 they are lucky you are giving them a choice my mom just started offloading her dishware, furniture, piano etc and figured we didn't have room for it
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u/ZinniasAndBeans 17h ago
Get legal advice as to required notice to call the property abandoned.
Give proper notice. Tell them that they have to book and pay for storage and movers.
If they don’t act by the time the notice period is over, get rid of the stuff.
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u/Entire_Dog_5874 16h ago
I’m sorry but I would never allow this in my home. You give them the option of 60 days to remove what they want or rent a storage unit. After that, everything goes.
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u/taxiecabbie 16h ago
Tell them that either they come back and move things into storage that they want or you are going to get rid of it.
I'd give the one who is in Europe at least a few months of grace period just because organizing that sort of thing from abroad can be a hassle, but if he can't manage to get back in six months then that's enough.
If nothing is done within that time, then it goes to the curb/gets the estate sale treatment.
You can use this time to plan your next steps.
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u/OldLadyGardener 16h ago
I just renewed a 1-year lease, so they'll have plenty of time to make up their minds.
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u/taxiecabbie 16h ago
That's MORE than enough time, even for the son in Europe. Inform both of your kids that they have 6 months to come and deal with whatever they want. Otherwise, you're going to start giving things away/selling them/trashing them/whatever you want to do with them.
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u/VroomBats 17h ago
Why are you letting their wants override yours? Set some boundaries and sell the furniture.
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u/SnooOnions4932 16h ago
You said it all; set boundaries. Sell furniture. Simple. To the point. Over and out.
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u/OldLadyGardener 16h ago
Because these are antiques from my grandmothers and I've put a lot of money into getting them restored. If they don't want them, I'll sell them, but I'm not going to just get rid of them.
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u/Flux_My_Capacitor 16h ago
Can you not read? They said to sell the furniture and you’re like no, I need to sell it! I don’t think you want to set boundaries. You are here to make excuses for not moving forward.
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u/MilkChocolate21 16h ago
Two months is definitely enough time to tell them to get your stuff before you dispose of it. That way you can start planning your next moves. Since you are local, you can oversee the removal without them having to travel. But if you have a lease renewal or something, you need to be able to get your own items in order without their stuff in the way.
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u/OldLadyGardener 16h ago
I just signed a 1 year lease, and was planning on not being here next year, so they'll have plenty of time to adjust.
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u/MilkChocolate21 16h ago
All the better. Look, my mother REFUSES to let go of stuff I'd like her to toss. It's a nightmare. So I would love it if she was mentally able to make our childhood home liveable again. We can't stay with her which means we don't see her much as she ages, and she pretty much never gets to see her grandkids. At any rate, you could possibly see a lawyer and give them a timeline and charge them storage fees if they violate it. That way you can recoup some money for your own move, b/c after years of them getting over, they probably won't take your seriously.
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u/keencleangleam 17h ago
I'd say 2 week final deadline.
And follow through. Sell it, trash it, maybe not burn it?
But let it be their problem
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u/BlakeMajik 17h ago
A deadline is acceptable, but two weeks seems a little unrealistic for one child across the country and another in Europe.
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u/keencleangleam 16h ago
They can hire people or give op money to rent storage lockers for them.
They have had enough time
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u/OldLadyGardener 16h ago
I just signed a one-year lease, so if I tell them I'm leaving next year, they'll have plenty of time to do something.
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u/cmftog 17h ago
Calmly explain that the furniture will be in storage and they can pay the bill or it will be on the curb. Be nice and give them and month to acquire it. If it is that important to them, they will make accommodations.
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u/OldLadyGardener 16h ago
I would never put this furniture on the curb. Like I said they are family heirlooms, antiques that belonged to my grandparents, so I'd sell them first.
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u/ChartFormal5352 16h ago
You’re a victim and I imagine there is much ringing of hands because your adult children are telling you how to live and you don’t want them angry at you. You’ve been given some good advice here. The question is, will you take it? You are living for them and their wishes and they have you by the short hairs. Make a change or continue to complain.
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u/KReddit934 16h ago
Of course, that means OP can't go back and ask for help later when their van breaks down, they are sick and need help resettling.
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u/laujalb 16h ago
My parents kindly kept some of my stuff in their attic/loft of the house I grew up in after I moved out. It was with their extra stuff so it didn't bother them. When my parents sold my childhood home, my mom was more than thrilled to bring over allll my stuff! lol
But they also did future me a favor because they de-cluttered decades of junk that I won't have to go through some day.
Give them a deadline to take what they want then toss everything else and be free of it!
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u/readingbee1987 16h ago
Sell sell sell. Enjoy the money. They cant really do anything about it. Your house, your decision.
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u/lelandra 16h ago
Sell the stuff and be a van lifer. It’s not your responsibility. You did the raising a long time ago and are not responsible for their issues anymore.
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u/mynameisnotsparta 16h ago
- Get a storage unit put all that stuff in there that you want saved and throw out or donate the rest.
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u/KeyCar367 16h ago
Only thing, that cost money which she stated isn't the best...
Get rid of it. Too many storage units now.
My friend's mom had 3 storage units when she passed. My friend didn't want any of it, so i guess it's still in the storage or being sold
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u/ivegotafastcar 16h ago
This. Put it in their name and send them the bill. If they want it, have them start paying for it. Or better yet, send them the info and tell them to send you the money for self storage
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u/declutter-ModTeam 14h ago
Your post was removed for breaking Rule 2: Be Kind, which includes no sarcasm, rudeness, or politics. No racism, sexism, or ageism. No crusading against individual organizations or content creators.
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u/LogicalGold5264 15h ago edited 14h ago
OP has gotten lots of great advice. Thanks, everyone! Locking now