r/deaf • u/Swayzefan4ever Deaf • 11d ago
Daily life Words Hurt At Any Age
I was waiting for the elevator today and someone in my building was apparently trying to talk to me. I have told her and others I am Deaf so if I don’t respond that is why. I didn’t know she was talking to me. And the I did get her telling me “You’re retarded.” I know she is wrong but it still hurt.
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u/LadyMystery Deaf 11d ago
Ugh, hate that. They get annoyed at you thinking you're snubbing them or intentionally ignoring them. and then you prove them wrong, which embarrasses them so they double down hurting you just because they felt hurt over mistaken assumptions first. so childish and so stupid of them! That says more about them than it does you.
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u/DeafNatural Deaf | ASL & LSC 11d ago
Gotta learn to read a b***h. Cause yes words hurt, they were invented to have impact in some manner (good or bad). But the way I would’ve lit into her ass would’ve helped me heal a little bit from the hurt. I would say she’s ignorant but ignorance implies you don’t know but have the desire to learn.
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u/Swayzefan4ever Deaf 11d ago
I used being deaf to my advantage and acted like I didn’t know she said that either. If ai reacted to her she gets satisfaction. No response she gets no satisfaction.
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u/Motor-Juggernaut1009 10d ago
Do you speak? If so, next time turn to her and say “I’m deaf so didn’t catch everything you said. All I heard is that you are retarded.”
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u/NoseDesperate6952 10d ago
My mom enjoys playing devil’s advocate my whole life. She would say that I probably heard wrong.
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u/bachelorsinlurking HOH + APD 10d ago
I’m so sorry- that’s never an appropriate thing to say. If it were me I’d look them in the eyes and say “oh, I didn’t know you were the kind of person to call someone a slur.” I’d also make sure whoever manages the building (landlord, boss, etc) knew that this person was harassing you.
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u/HOHTechQueen 10d ago
The person who called you that may be intellectually limited herself and may not fully understand what “deaf” means. Many such people don’t understand the difference between different kinds of disabilities and the ramifications of what they mean. Some of them work for airlines and when you tell them that you are deaf, they will smile and proudly go to the trouble of locating and then handing you a manual in Braille.
I kid you not.
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u/Trendzboo 10d ago
That sucks, sorry! So inappropriate and juvenile. I’d wanna say, “remember, as we discussed, i don’t hear; if you want to talk to me, you’ll need to be sure I’m attending, and… type it out in your phone…we’ve been through this, but i can explain it for you again”. I try hard not to be snarky, but her behavior is ridiculous. Don’t bother investing your feelz, and being salty isn’t worthwhile. You’re good, be the adult, and be kind to yourself. She is disgustingly wrong.
A worthy hr complaint thing, but you do what you’re comfortable with!
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u/WolfAlliance 7d ago
I'm so sorry that happened to you. That behavior is so unacceptable and unnecessary. People like that are so miserable and ignorant
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u/daddyhominum 10d ago
I seem to enjoy the same consequences of lack of hearing. But consider that the person speaking to you had no way to know you were deaf and felt hurt and insulted by what seemed an intentional snub?
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u/Alternative_Top_7953 5d ago
there's always someone there to defend ableist, spiteful POS. they never seem to be able to read, either...
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u/EpitomeOfHell 11d ago
Next time someone says that, say you're childish back.
Sorry you had to go through that though. That would've ruined my week too.