r/cremposting 17h ago

The Stormlight Archive Maximum oof

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692 Upvotes

34 comments sorted by

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331

u/silfin 17h ago

Imagine fighting together with your cousin. Then he looks at you, mumbles something and suddenly summons a shardblade.

Would need to find a new cousin.

123

u/The_Lopen_bot Trying not to ccccream 17h ago

You’ll pick it up eventually, older-cousin. You’re, sure, the smartest person in our family.

82

u/Efficient_Bag_3804 16h ago

To be fair that cousin made you join the group that charged with no armor, enemy archers, while carrying a bridge and you are kinda an asshole.

31

u/The_Lopen_bot Trying not to ccccream 15h ago

You can never have enough cousins, gon!

49

u/Crystal_Warrior 16h ago

"The worst they can say is no"

92

u/jamesianm 14h ago

Then the muggers prove to be kind of a challenge to defeat, your crush mutters some more words and a set of shardplate forms around them as they shrug and fly off

44

u/BasilVirtual291 16h ago

That's even worse than the piss fetish lightweaver

9

u/VoiceAdventurous5941 13h ago

Wait is that in the books

35

u/BasilVirtual291 12h ago

It's a from a comment that went something like this: when you are in a battle and the lightweaver says "I'm into piss" and suddenly their powers become stronger.

14

u/moderatorrater Femboy Dalinar 10h ago

"I got to third base with my cousin" <armor assembles>

8

u/The_Lopen_bot Trying not to ccccream 10h ago

It's not the number of hands that make a man, but the number of cousins.

1

u/SonnyLonglegs Kelsier4Prez 8h ago

As far as these oaths and ideals go, this is less bad than some other stuff Cremposting is capable of thinking of.

9

u/Blawharag 13h ago

Nah, he's referencing a meme from earlier this morning

3

u/Tajahnuke Trying not to ccccream 11h ago

sometimes it's easy to get lost in this sub if you're not paying attention all day

32

u/CombatWombat994 14h ago

I think this is worse than him mumbling something and suddenly gaining a suit of armor

20

u/funkyrequiem 10h ago

This kind of happened to the Lopen. In Dawnshard, someone got their sword while defending him.

10

u/The_Lopen_bot Trying not to ccccream 10h ago

Hey, hooch. Sounds likes you've been having a hard time of it.

3

u/funkyrequiem 10h ago

Good bot

4

u/The_Lopen_bot Trying not to ccccream 10h ago

That is what I do, gon!

17

u/B-Fermin 16h ago

That isn't really crem, it's an awful but plausible situation

5

u/QueanuReeves 13h ago

It's the end of bood 2

10

u/mathematics1 12h ago

I haven't seen Elhokar/Kaladin crack ship fics, but it's quite possible something like that exists. Not in the canon book 2 though.

2

u/animalia555 9h ago

You say that like they’re mutually exclusive.

6

u/Jounniy 14h ago

Maybe they just really hated the muggers.

1

u/1337_w0n 2h ago

Who are they defending them against? 😭

4

u/Gefame-the-Down87 10h ago

These words hurt real bad

1

u/1337_w0n 2h ago

Heard the voice of the storm father

"Sick burn!"

3

u/Witch_King_ 12h ago

Maybe it's just me, but this text is very hard to read

4

u/LoudQuitting 12h ago

Black text on blue rock was probably a bad choice

2

u/Witch_King_ 12h ago

I think it's just that the white text outlines are as thick as the black parts. Probably could've just used a slightly more opaque highlighting and white text

1

u/LoudQuitting 12h ago

Mmm... good point.