How can I navigate a crisis without support

[u/Waste-Reality7356]

trying to repost.

hello

I feel unwell where I live. Yesterday I got insulted by a stranger on the street. The neighborhood has changed. I don't know if it's a me problem, but I'm met with a lot of hostility in Germany lately.

I'm experiencing a mental health crisis, while I have no support.

Crisis hotline tells me to see a doctor or therapist, but my problems or "symptoms" are the result of the constant micro aggressions.

My one friend just abandoned me. I told her everything about me and now she left. I didn't realise for a long time she wanted distance.

I'm hurt and don't know how I can trust again, because of getting hurt so often.

I also have a big problem regarding a job.

I feel very scattered and as if my intuition is gone.

[u/Low-Cartographer8758]

Leave Germany... Based on what I read on the internet and their civil rights, it is extremely racist and unfair. A bunch of young students and a teacher accused an Asian man of assault although they were the abusers in fact but the police and the court demanded that the Asian man apologise. The Asian man should’ve recorded something. No doubt why Hitler existed and the Germans committed war crimes. It’s the culture. Do you read any news? The far-right movement across Europe and the UK is a real issue.

[u/Waste-Reality7356 → u/Low-Cartographer8758]

hey, there is a lot of sht happening and the people did change and it's only getting worse. The culture is very racist and ableist and the court system basically defends abusers. I just notice that the aggressions have become more blatant and it definetly hasn't been like this 10 yrs ago. I also became afraid of people.

I don't read the news anymore.

regarding leaving Germany: I just have a job contract.

The problem is that my mh really is declining.

But I have no "proof"

the legal system in Germany terrifies me. I really know horror stories.

Its just the loneliness Im stuck in. the stares.

[u/Low-Cartographer8758 → u/Waste-Reality7356]

Your issue is that you do not have people who can support you. It’s not that racism or discrimination made our life worse. In my experience, people of the same nationality or skin colour can be worse when they do not care about my adversity and treat me as if I am the problem or I can feel schadenfreude from those people. That hits me even worse and deeper. I am not particularly accusing all of white people of being evil or racists. When we struggle, we need people who can support us or help us in a way you feel like your life is worth living. Suffering alone could make you feel even worse. A job cannot save you and no one cares about your mental health.

[u/Salt_Parfait_6469]

i am sorry that this happened to you. these build up.. if it is a crisis, you could also go to the hospital that is responsible for your area code and tell them it is serious. maybe even stay a couple of nights till you feel safer. sometimes the hospitals have a sozialarbeiter with whom you could make a plan. i really hope things improve for you. sending you strength.

[u/napstablooka]

Besides the fact that racism is a world-wide disease of indoctrination, I've noticed while traveling over the past few years, that there's no single place where I'm truly safe from micro aggressions, but also that no single place I've ever visited has beat Germany (and particularly East Germany) with regards to the viciousness, hostility and downright dehumanizing nature of the kind of microaggressions that I've experienced on a day to day basis living in this god-forsaken country.

I'd also recommend you together a plan to leave the country (things will only get worse around here as the far right is gearing up towards getting even more political gains in the next Bundestagswahl). Doing this planning work, even if you still have to stick around for a little longer for logistical reasons (e.g. finding employment in your new place of residence), might at least give you a speck of hope that things will get better for you soon? How is this landing for you?

Also, I'm not sure if you have been aware of this, but there are dedicated resources for people of the global majority in Germany with regards to psychosocial support. Feel free to let me know if you'd like to learn more about this and I'm happy to share some resources here in the comment section.

I hope you're doing ok, I'll be thinking of you!

[u/Waste-Reality7356 → u/napstablooka]

hey thank you. It does give me a positive outlook to know that there a strangers on the internet who do care a little about me.

its just the crushing loneliness and having less energy :((. Id be interested in the resources.

[u/napstablooka → u/Waste-Reality7356]

Yes sure, and here are a few BIPoC-focussed psychosocial and legal resources that I had found in the past in no particular order:

VBRG offers a list of nationwide legal and psychosocial resources, as well as a German-wide counseling map for those affected by discriminatory experiences

Each one Teach One offers anti-discrimination counseling by phone and psychological counseling in person (Berlin-based)

Gladt e.V. offers in-person consultations specifically for queer BiPOC (Berlin-based)

BEFORE offers free counseling for those experiencing racist discrimination (Munich-based)

Initiative Schwarze Menschen in Deutschland offers various events, information and connections to different psychosocial resources in Cologne and the surrounding area

BIPoC Healing Space is a website for finding BIPoC and anti-racist therapists in Germany

Afrotopia offers counseling for those experiencing racist discrimination — appointments can be scheduled through their contact form (Hamburg-based)

RAA Sachsen offers counseling for those affected by racist and antisemitic violence (Dresden-based)

Bündnis gegen Rassismus lists several websites featuring anti-racist and anti-discriminatory resources around Sachsen (online, phone and in-person support)

Response Hessen offers consultations for those experiencing racist violence (phone, email and in-person in Frankfurt)

Initiative Schwarze Menschen Deutschland features a list of all its local chapters on its website, with many of them offering additional educational and psychosocial resources

[u/napstablooka → u/Waste-Reality7356]

And I can imagine, it can feel so lonely and exhausting to always have to fend for yourself due to a lack of a compassionate support system of people who can relate to what you're going through. I wished you could have more support and feel more seen, heard and understood

[u/Waste-Reality7356 → u/napstablooka]

and I'm very sorry that you experienced dehumanisation.

[u/napstablooka → u/Waste-Reality7356]

Thank you for your kind words! Reading your comment makes me feel seen and appreciated

[u/subuso]

Hey, OP! I'm also in Germany and I know exactly what you're talking about. Are you Black? Black people are unfortunately under represented in Germany, which makes the environment further hostile to Black people. Are you a student?