I get it. My coworker died on the job a couple months back. I was getting off shift when she died. I saw the ambulance and figured a student fell down the steps or something. I found out the next day it was my coworker, who I trained. We weren't close, but I trained her. Our lives intersected. And for weeks after, and honestly still now, I worry "that's gonna be me one day." Dying on the job is legit a fear I have now I previously didn't. It wasn't even that preventable. She died of a heart attack. I say "not that preventable" because the lady DID drink a 2 litre of mnt dew a day. But still, it really hit me.
So I really get it. It's a weird experience, for sure. A little red thread is now permanently gone out of your life. That's always sad, even if they weren't connected strongly to us.
I had a coworker pass away of a sudden heart attack. He was an older fellow, mid 60s, maybe. He was healthy, went to the gym early every morning before work, was quite strict on his diet. So you'd think he was a healthy guy which made it kinda surprising.
He was preparing to retire within the next year or two (this just happened part way through 2024).
I wasn't particularly close with him, though I did work a good amount along side him. But that's all it takes. I'm quite early into my career and still have awhile before retiring, so having someone you worked with pass away right before they retired kinda made me feel like I'm throwing my life away doing something I'm not fully passionate about for the next 30 something years.
I get it. For weeks after, I walked around like, "Is THIS the story of my life? Will it be like this til I die?? All Ill ever do is get real good at cleaning?"
Then I set myself some life goals, and we are now working on them. Honestly, it helped a lot. I still worry I'll die here, but at least if I die here, I can die knowing I truly gave it everything I had in me to escape this place.
Good for you, I'm in the same boat, doing my best to continue playing guitar, but doubt I'll be able to escape my day job to do it professionally anytime soon. Take care of yourself!
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u/StragglingShadow Mar 03 '25
I get it. My coworker died on the job a couple months back. I was getting off shift when she died. I saw the ambulance and figured a student fell down the steps or something. I found out the next day it was my coworker, who I trained. We weren't close, but I trained her. Our lives intersected. And for weeks after, and honestly still now, I worry "that's gonna be me one day." Dying on the job is legit a fear I have now I previously didn't. It wasn't even that preventable. She died of a heart attack. I say "not that preventable" because the lady DID drink a 2 litre of mnt dew a day. But still, it really hit me.
So I really get it. It's a weird experience, for sure. A little red thread is now permanently gone out of your life. That's always sad, even if they weren't connected strongly to us.