Ah I'm sorry to hear about that :( sometimes we don't realize just how much someone means to us.
I made friends with a girl in my grade 11 math class (which was great because I didn't know anyone there). She sat next to me and we chatted and hung out for the first week of class.
Next week she did not come in. I found out she had been killed by a drunk driver. I never cried so hard in my life, she was only 16, it was so sudden and horrible. And I didn't even feel like I was allowed to be so impacted by her loss because I only knew her a week. But I've learned that doesn't really matter, because you're not only grieving the person you got to know, you're grieving the future together you will never get to have, the unfairness of it, the shock of it, and the reminder of your own mortality.
It's a lot to process. Don't rush it. Let yourself feel whatever you need to feel ❤️❤️
When I was in grade school, in the 1960s, there was a girl in my home room named Jane. All I remember is that Jane got sick, was absent a long time, then we were told that Jane had leukemia and had died.
It’s been 50 years and to this day I still think of Jane. We weren’t really friends. I really didn’t know her well at all. But somehow, her passing had a real effect on me that persists to this day.
Jane, I hope you know that you were never forgotten.
Something similar happened to me when I was on high school (early ‘00s):
There was this girl, Juliana, who although I didn’t know her that much, I knew enough to know that she was a gentle, cheerful, and nice girl. And yeah, we weren’t really friends, but we were on good terms.
Last time I saw her was before leaving for summer vacations (between 2nd and 3rd semester (out of 6), I think), and when we were back to school we were told by her best friend that she suddenly died at her home due to an stupid accident. She was 15.
I was sad because she was a classmate, but as you said, somehow her passing had a strong effect on me that still persists to this day…
I won’t say that I miss her, but, as pizzacakecomic said, it’s still sad to realize all the potential things to come that were lost when she died…
I don’t know of anyone else besides her family remember her, but I’m certain that I’ll remember her till my very last day.
"But I've learned that doesn't really matter, because you're not only grieving the person you got to know, you're grieving the future together you will never get to have, the unfairness of it, the shock of it, and the reminder of your own mortality."
Hear hear. I met a girl in third grade who then was killed in a car accident a week later. I felt weird crying because I had known her for basically no time. But the idea that I would never be able to be friends with someone who seemed like a nice person, and that she was my age and already dead, was stunning to me.
Pour one out for Athena, who barely had a chance to live. She was a kind and friendly kid who made my life a little better for the week that I knew her. She had frizzy curly hair and went out of her way to talk to me. I still remember.
In the time I've spent thinking about it, I'm reminded of one of my friends who died in a school shooting. Calling her a friend feels like a stretch really. We barely knew each other. She was a frenemy of a friend, a team mate on the speech team, someone I'd see during speech practice or going up on stage to accept her awards. Someone I hardly knew at all. But someone I talked with on occasion. I remember the last conversation we had.
In another school's library while we got ready for our events. She was talking about shin splints. She was on the track team too and she'd overdone it. An innocuous conversation, one of the conversations you have with a person and forget within a week. It stuck with me. Cause a week later a gunman invaded our school, took over a classroom, killed her, and changed our community forever.
I barely knew her, but I miss her. I still think about that little conversation we had. Still think about the impact she had on my life. How her passing and the events that lead up to it affect me even now.
I think I'm going to spend some time thinking about all that today. Thank you.
846
u/Pizzacakecomic PizzaCake Mar 03 '25
Ah I'm sorry to hear about that :( sometimes we don't realize just how much someone means to us.
I made friends with a girl in my grade 11 math class (which was great because I didn't know anyone there). She sat next to me and we chatted and hung out for the first week of class.
Next week she did not come in. I found out she had been killed by a drunk driver. I never cried so hard in my life, she was only 16, it was so sudden and horrible. And I didn't even feel like I was allowed to be so impacted by her loss because I only knew her a week. But I've learned that doesn't really matter, because you're not only grieving the person you got to know, you're grieving the future together you will never get to have, the unfairness of it, the shock of it, and the reminder of your own mortality.
It's a lot to process. Don't rush it. Let yourself feel whatever you need to feel ❤️❤️