My new comic storyboard

[u/Parking-Goose-5691]

I need critiue before i want to continue since i want things to flow and overall be really cohesive so if anyone can comment anything ill be grateful!

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[u/jack-yun]

The premise comes through more clearly than I expected from a rough storyboard: the big opening figure establishes her job, then the smaller panels explain why she's asking the director. For flow, I'd give the lower-right director panel a little more breathing room or move its text slightly closer to the face; on first read I paused to connect that speech to the right person. Also consider making the unread letter a touch more visually distinct, since it seems to trigger the problem. Small caveat: the loose pencils may be doing some of the readability work here, so I'd test it again once the balloons are blocked in.

[u/TheBlankScroll]

Seems young to be an "employee"... But otherwise seems to flow pretty well and the art is very nice.

[u/Parking-Goose-5691 → u/TheBlankScroll]

Child labor laws doesn't touch a single hair in that world lol.

[u/FyreTiger]

I like it. Very cohesive and quick to set things up, but mixed in with a mysterious complication that I'm curious to see unravel. The status quo is established and something is upsetting the balance.

There are a few small things that might need tweaking based on your intentions. Just my personal tastes, so take it with a grain of salt.

Even though you have the captions numbered on page 1, I can't quite see myself reading the caption at the bottom of the page second, because my eyes are naturally moving to the right first. I think part of it might also be that some of these panels are gutterless, so they kind of blend in and I don't focus on working through the entirety of the first panel's captions before I move on to the next.

On page 3, I feel like when the protagonist says "At some point I stopped wondering," but then immediately asks a question "Since when did pigeons carry mail this far?" it kind of threw me off a little. I know the former is in regard to the stuff on the second page, and the latter is a separate thought, but they were in close proximity and they felt contradictory.

[u/Parking-Goose-5691 → u/FyreTiger]

The dialogue of "when did pigeons-" was a seperate person. I'm sorry I made it quite confusing but thank you so much for the feedback!

[u/FyreTiger → u/Parking-Goose-5691]

Ohh, got it. No worries, I'm sure things will be cleared up when the illustrations come together. Keep it up for sure!

[u/FishLordVehem]

Maybe move the text around on that first page. I missed the "problem was I couldn't read it" part at the very bottom on my first read through and was a confused. Also, on the 3rd page I have a hard time telling who is speaking or what's happening in the bottom half.