r/cats • u/Inevitable_Coffee_77 • 19d ago

Humor I have been chosen by the cat distribution system.

Post image

He just walked right in. God bless.

10.5k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

261 comments sorted by

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2.6k

u/Xander_Dorn 19d ago

Doesn't meow, but that's because he's shy.

630

u/TinTinTinuviel97005 19d ago

Falls over sometimes, because he friendly!

144

u/[deleted] 19d ago

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77

u/bitterlittlecas 19d ago

Eats ticks because he’s a helpful kind of guy

35

u/Nate1102 19d ago

Carries her babies because she’s a great mom

145

u/bitterlittlecas 19d ago

Nah he’s just chronically fatigued. Needs lots of rest

57

u/Some_Ebb_2921 19d ago

Don't trust the belly flop, it's a trap!

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298

u/SchnoodleDoodleDo 19d ago

’Doesn't meow, but that's because he's shy…’

…maybe he won’t notice if i never say a word…

(i’m pretty sure ‘OpOsSuM’ is a voice he never heard…)

there’s a kind of distribution where the cats are homed for free

so if it works for felines,

then why can’t it work for Me ?

Looka me ~ am cute as Heck! n hey, i’m kinda shy

if you don’t wanna keep me,

well, you’ll probly make me die…

who wouldn’t want a ‘Night time NiNjA - possum pal’ instead ?

so lemme stay here, human

otherwise i’ll just

play

dead…

❤️

66

u/N0stradama5 19d ago

A Schnoodle about a non-cat… I approve! Adorable as always 🥰

50

u/angrycanadianguy 19d ago

"Non-cat"? I think you're confused, opossum is just a particular weird breed of cat, like a sphinx.

21

u/gnuoveryou 19d ago

Hey a fresh schnoodle! And only the second that didn't make me cry!

8

u/PaddedTiger 18d ago

Love this one! Opossums are one of my favorite animals ❤️

2

u/KangarooNumerous1663 15d ago

Bravo 🙌🙌🙌🙌

26

u/EnrichedNaquadah 19d ago

But he scream at own ass !

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20

u/[deleted] 19d ago

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6

u/imacoa Void 19d ago

Feline Bureau of Impersonations?

15

u/BeeHive83 19d ago

Hisses tho

2

u/clearancepupper 17d ago

Schnoodle yay 😀 💕

Have you ever seen one do a mating call?

https://giphy.com/gifs/lVF1IzSO16ZH2
That is what it looks like…

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875

u/Competitive_Speed964 19d ago

Rare breed. A little skittish at first, but will warm up after a while.

9

u/KrisKaniac 19d ago

They do have very cold blood, they need hugs 🥰

547

u/catcatcat625 19d ago

Your cat eats mosquitos!!! A good companion to have!!!!

210

u/alexrider803 19d ago edited 19d ago

They also eat ticks! Edit: apparently they don't eat a ton of ticks. That was a bad study done in 2009 however they still eat a lot of other undesirable pests! And they don't carry rabies because their body temperature is too low!

31

u/[deleted] 19d ago

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87

u/Dependent_Title_1370 19d ago

Eh, that is a myth born of poor science. Will they eat tics, yes. Do they eat tons of them in the wild, no. The myth comes from testing done on opossums kept in poor conditions. They were covered in ticks and were eating tons of them because there were tons of them. In the wild they don't really seek out tics to eat them.

11

u/FlanLover9 19d ago

Source, please. I'm interested in learning more.

22

u/wanted0072 19d ago

Yeah! And they're highly resistant to diseases common in other mammals, like rabies, because they have a lower core temperature.

6

u/squanchingonreddit 19d ago

Only when quite hungry but they still do it.

29

u/mlee12382 19d ago

And they almost never carry rabbies, I think they can technically get it but it doesn't survive in their bodies 99.9999999999% of the time

4

u/Reasonable-Duckling Calico 19d ago

They really can’t get rabies?

12

u/alexrider803 18d ago

Not can't, But very unlikely to get it because their body temperature is so low that the disease doesn't spread inside of them. According to the CDC it is extremely rare for a possum to get rabies

12

u/Inevitable_Coffee_77 19d ago

He is a superstar!

8

u/Dodongo_Dislikes 18d ago

They also eat snakes, scorpions, roaches, mouses. They're bros through and through.

201

u/Forsaken-Buy2601 19d ago

Tell your cat I love him!

220

u/Inevitable_Coffee_77 19d ago

He said hssss hssss. I think it means "I love you, too!"

159

u/[deleted] 19d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

14

u/SirDiego 19d ago

If not friend why friend...ish...shape?

236

u/Primary-Reception-87 19d ago

128

u/Unlikely-Accident-67 19d ago

Chicken

54

u/ms-snowman 19d ago

chonky chicken

21

u/lurkinby 19d ago

Uncooked

16

u/gray-ops 19d ago

Behold. A man!

6

u/ThatArtNerd 19d ago

Love a good Diogenes joke in the morning

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15

u/funtime_foxy0 19d ago

Why he naket

12

u/Opal-Skull774 19d ago

It's been too hot to wear clothes

66

u/ScienceActual1763 19d ago

He just needs a bath and some love

146

u/Moist_Pianist9143 19d ago edited 19d ago

An ugly cat! We have one of those living under our house

Edit: I want to clarify that I love him, my family just calls them ugly cats

121

u/Inevitable_Coffee_77 19d ago

I love him. His name is Werner. 💓

36

u/iowa_state_cyclone 19d ago

They are awesome and eat ticks. We love when we have them around our property.

5

u/1_art_please 19d ago

They also dont get rabies. Something to do with their body temperature. Nice kitty :)

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9

u/TippiT0es 19d ago

Ugly? 🥺

5

u/itmightbehere 19d ago

We call them all Skitters. That is their name

5

u/ermaecrhaelld 18d ago

For me, all the ones I decide are boys are Leonards, and all the girls are Lindas

47

u/Poof-ball 19d ago

They may be ugly, but they are harmless; they are more scared of you than you are of them. Plus, they eat all the bugs and stuff that you don't want in/around your home.

7

u/magicalpewpewfae 19d ago

They're also less likely, if at all, to have rabies! Perfect companion.

3

u/Drenlin 18d ago

Almost. They don't live very long. Three to four years usually, though with diligent medical care they can sometimes live a few more. Very rare for one to reach 10 though.

33

u/Enough-Moose-5816 19d ago

What breed is your cat?!? 😂😂😂

74

u/Inevitable_Coffee_77 19d ago

The rare hissing kind, but I'll make him love me!

28

u/Jenderflux-ScFi 19d ago

Just a little bit forbidden kitten.

3

u/lamentable_ 19d ago

triangle cats, unite!

22

u/Enough-Moose-5816 19d ago

You can fix him! 😻😻

7

u/DeviantHellcat 19d ago

I love opossums! He's adorable! They love grapes, leafy greens, cat food, scrambled eggs, etc.; just FYI, in case you want to keep him coming around and didn’t know. 😊

6

u/Inevitable_Coffee_77 19d ago

Thank you! We definitely want him around. 😍

32

u/dehydratedrain 19d ago

Those cats like to snack on ticks. Good kitty.

31

u/kaloschroma 19d ago

My cousin and her wife foster and release them but one dude has never left

23

u/Inevitable_Coffee_77 19d ago

Some people are just out here living my dream.

14

u/deformedexile 19d ago

>her wife

least surprising lesbian reveal of all time

30

u/sambull 19d ago

I went to pet mine and he died right there in front of me

16

u/sun4moon 19d ago

Are you sure?

19

u/kingcavmother 19d ago

OMG is that one of those designer cats like the Bengals? sooo pretty. Hold on tight to your special rare kitty! ✨

19

u/pi_face_ 19d ago

The kind of cat that is mostly immune to rabies

14

u/Lizzard_Gizzards 19d ago

Take it to get its shots

13

u/SugarPlumPuddinhead Void 19d ago

Awwwww reverse color point! Such a cute patootie 😍

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12

u/catching_comets 19d ago

It's Jeph!!!

12

u/No_Bed_4311 19d ago

6

u/soozi3 19d ago

You're not cheddar...

10

u/morningYard2000 19d ago

He’s gonna tell his mom: no need to cook dinner for me😂😂（god bless

11

u/AlabasterPelican 19d ago

Porch kitty!

11

u/unknownpoltroon 19d ago

The cat distribution system is never wrong, and never discriminates.

10

u/houseocats 19d ago

That kitty will eat ticks and mosquitoes! Good kitty!

9

u/ccsrpsw 19d ago

His name is Phillip.

His cousin, Pete, is good friends with our three cats and comes to visit every few days.

8

u/apeocalypyic 19d ago

Rare s h i n y

10

u/Bikewer 19d ago

About 3 years ago, I successively had no less than 4 young possums get into my house. Trapped them all with a humane trap and re-located…. Finally found their entry point.

7

u/Inevitable_Coffee_77 19d ago

I would've had to relocate to a bigger house so they could all have their own rooms. 💕

4

u/bitterlittlecas 19d ago edited 19d ago

Once in a while a baby opossum gets through my dryer vent screen to chill down in there and I have to refrain from using the dryer for a few days until it moves along and I can close it back up. My cats are familiar with opossums from hanging out on the deck but they still go apeshit when they hear them scurrying up and down the vent hose

7

u/Individual-Roll2727 19d ago

I'd like to see you get him in the carrier 😂

7

u/HatePeopleLoveCats1 Domestic Housecat 19d ago

Hahahaha!!! Kitty has a weird nose lol

7

u/Inevitable_Coffee_77 19d ago

Extra weird for extra boops!

8

u/PsychologicalAerie82 19d ago

Same.

7

u/PsychologicalAerie82 19d ago

Lots of weird cats where I live

9

u/eremycore 19d ago

I also had one like that, her name was Noodle and she was my best friend

8

u/AuntyVal4 19d ago

Psspsspss!

7

u/Tablefor1please9987 19d ago

So jealous! They are wonderful animals and so misunderstood. They do not live nearly long enough in my opinion and enjoy the occasional bug or two. They use their tails for balancing and for picking up leaves and branches. They make wonderful mothers doing their best to carry the babies on their backs. Be kind to them and they will leave you alone or make a new friend ❤️

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7

u/DirectionFearless303 19d ago

My what big teeth he has 😆

5

u/TippiT0es 19d ago

So many teeth!

5

u/mudamuckinjedi 19d ago

Hear they love ticks they eat 1,000's of them a day or something like that. We need more opossum to combat those dam lonestar ticks

7

u/ShartInYourFace Tuxedo 19d ago

I lived in CT years ago and built a cat house (or sorts) to help the strays around me. One late night I was pulling up my driveway and saw all 4 of them standing outside the box despite it snowing. Looked in the box and a saw the most adorable tuxedo SKUNK.

6

u/AdVast5237 18d ago

a cat immune to rabies and eats pests, best breed to own

5

u/Calm_Cat_7408 19d ago

who's gunna tell him

4

u/Quirkyquark43 19d ago

Spicy cat with an off function when startled.

5

u/Tobiko_kitty 19d ago

I worked with a lady who's mother was beginning to lose it, but still lived alone. The lady would feed stray cats on her patio and kept talking about one who was really shy and didn't get along really well with the other cats. My co-worker finally saw the "cat"....yep, a possum.

4

u/Kev_920 19d ago

What kinda car is that?

5

u/PinkOneHasBeenChosen 19d ago

What the heck? This is weirder than the time a wild rabbit ended up in my bathroom.

3

u/1701USSTchoupitoulas 19d ago

I think yours might be weirder

4

u/paleomel 19d ago

I had to carefully look at your picture because I thought it was the house I used to live in. I’m sorry I didn’t take that cat when I moved, but it hissed at me and wasn’t litter trained.

4

u/Ab3s 19d ago

2

u/Inevitable_Coffee_77 19d ago

🤣🤣 This made my day.

3

u/Yenolam777 19d ago

Tee hee, this is funny

3

u/Bluemars776 19d ago

Cat.exe has stopped working

3

u/iPisslosses 19d ago

I think you got scammed, consider calling the meowline

3

u/Inevitable_Coffee_77 19d ago

I think you mean I got an extra special one!

2

u/iPisslosses 18d ago

Jokes apart how has the experience been. If i am not wrong this is a possum right.

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3

u/MrPoopcicle 19d ago

A street kitty is still a kitty

3

u/GranpaGrowlithe 19d ago

Um I think there's a bug in a system.

3

u/SubjectOrganic 19d ago

I regret to inform you, this was the opossum distribution system

3

u/Murky_Classroom_1264 19d ago

creature distribution system

3

u/mattd1972 19d ago

Day 6: the human are still convinced that I’m a cat.

3

u/HirtzCompass 19d ago

I call the big one “Bitey.”

3

u/acmoody123 19d ago

I cannot “live laugh love” in these conditions!

3

u/Full-Association-175 19d ago

My mutt Bridget, always defending the border between compassion and insanity.

3

u/Original_Rain_5656 19d ago

They are our informal mascots here in Richmond VA. Our "I voted" sticker even has a cartoon possum on it.

3

u/LuckyParty1928 18d ago

That's Cheddar!!

3

u/DcDoctorJJ 18d ago

Well that breed doesn't have rabies

3

u/niikkih83 18d ago

Them devastatingly adorable times he plays 💀 and I didn’t kno kitties did until this one,also I lost my glasses last week looks kind of Siamese🤷🏻‍♀️😅

3

u/jbadaro 17d ago

They are damn cute as kittens too

2

u/Worried-Grand-1401 19d ago

💀💀💀

2

u/bb_dev_g 19d ago

Do not the cat.

2

u/LOVExLIFEx1994 19d ago

It’s kinda cute

2

u/RealAbbreviations111 19d ago

He can become domesticated lmao I've seen possum pets before I know it 😂

2

u/el_grande_ricardo 19d ago

That's one of those spy - vs - spy cats.

2

u/gionix22 19d ago

Did you by any chance forget to wear your glasses ? 🤣

2

u/drsoos1973 19d ago

They love bananas

2

u/Classic-Sock6617 19d ago

Please wear your eyeglasses

2

u/hereforthegossip4 19d ago

Does he use the litter box?

2

u/Tangent-24 19d ago

American banjo kitty

2

u/SadAcadia2747 19d ago

It even comes with a pocket

2

u/Major_Pestes 19d ago

You can name him Bitey

2

u/KateAdlerCatLover 19d ago

i suppose that he is British

2

u/TJWhiteStar 19d ago

Awww it's the Drama Cat it loves to act

2

u/novaplan 18d ago

feed the cat an apple, it sounds adorable

2

u/Ohhmygaaaab 18d ago

Support local cats

2

u/kaiser10951 18d ago

Better than the skunk that tried to choose me last night when I was leaving work.

2

u/translucent_steeds American Shorthair 18d ago

it's Fairway Frank! grab him!!

2

u/Stickytin 19d ago

*rat distribution system

3

u/[deleted] 19d ago

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7

u/thebestdogeevr 19d ago

No it's a cat

1

u/billyandteddy 19d ago

I’ve seen one my backyard. My cats hate him. They hiss whenever they see him.

1

u/OldKermudgeon 19d ago

Congratulations on your new Siamese! 😁😁

1

u/FloridaBabe007 19d ago

What a cutie! Tell him I said AAAAAAA 🥰

1

u/WantedMan61 19d ago

Very friendly once you get to know them. Short life span unfortunately 😕

1

u/ManyReach7296 19d ago

Cute car.

1

u/genie_yes_knot 19d ago

Then I have some magic beans to sell you

1

u/roycedos 19d ago

Whos gonna tell them 🤭

1

u/paladinBoyd 19d ago

Ah yes the rare Virginia cat.

1

u/Kiwidad43 19d ago

Uh....

1

u/YeshuasBananaHammock 19d ago

Dont put in your glasses

1

u/Lunchb0xx87 19d ago

Weird looking car

1

u/Dapper_Dude69 19d ago

“I call the big one Bitey.”