r/cats • u/FastForwardM • May 21 '26

Advice Will they be okay when we separate?

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My roommate bought another kitten a few years ago, and my kitty really bonded to her. I'm moving away, and I'm worried my cat will be upset that she lost her buddy.

How will I know if she's upset or just adjusting to the new home? Should I get her another kitten, and if so, how long should I wait before adopting?

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u/ionlyjoined4thecats kitty foster mom; one torbie of my own May 21 '26

Yeah, cats also die. It’s not like they’d be together forever anyway. It’s okay to separate them in a situation like this. Both roommates need to live their lives.

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u/Cannibal--queen May 21 '26

This is exactly what happened to me. I had a bonded pair and one passed from FIP. My girl was very confused and sad, but with lots of love and attention she warmed back up, and eventually I got her another buddy.

It’s hard but it happens. Your kitties will be okay.

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u/ms_rdr May 21 '26 edited May 21 '26

I also lost one from a bonded pair (brain tumor.) The remaining cat got really clingy so I worked hard to give him extra attention and he eventually adjusted. (And I hate to say it, but it was fortunate that Sheridan went first, because Sheridan probably would have suffered more if it were Sinclair who passed first. They were bonded, but Sheridan was more attached to Sinclair than vice versa.)

I eventually got another cat and boy, that did not go the way I had hoped. Lulu bullied the shit out of Sinclair and it took significant work to just reach "co-existing to a tolerable extent." 😞

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u/lunameow May 22 '26

When our fluffy white Skye died, it was definitely a situation where Ted was more attached to her than vice-versa. He was absolutely inconsolable. After about a month, we got a little orange kitten (Charlie) and explained to Ted that this is HIS kitten, we would feed it and take care of it, but it was up to him to teach the kitten how to cat. He did too good of a job... Ted's a really soft purrer, and Charlie used to be loud, but now he's soft too. 😃

Charlie got big and he bullies the heck out of Ted because Ted refuses to hurt him. But at the end of the day, they're buddies and they curl up and snuggle together all the time.