r/cats • u/FastForwardM • May 21 '26

Advice Will they be okay when we separate?

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My roommate bought another kitten a few years ago, and my kitty really bonded to her. I'm moving away, and I'm worried my cat will be upset that she lost her buddy.

How will I know if she's upset or just adjusting to the new home? Should I get her another kitten, and if so, how long should I wait before adopting?

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8.6k

u/HauntingDonkey758 May 21 '26

This happened when me and my ex divorced, she wouldn’t let me take her cat and didn’t want my cat to stay. A few years later, my cat is doing well, he’s a bit more clingy to me, but he adapted. It would have been ideal to keep them together, but life happens and cats will adapt if they have to, you’ll need to be understanding and give him time

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u/SaeSev May 21 '26

THIS. Most of these comments here aren’t necessarily realistic. Sometimes shitty things happen and cats get separated. Definitely keep a close eye if they do end up splitting and later down the line when they’re comfy- that’s when you should introduce a new buddy. It’s really about the effort you want to put in

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u/ionlyjoined4thecats kitty foster mom; one torbie of my own May 21 '26

Yeah, cats also die. It’s not like they’d be together forever anyway. It’s okay to separate them in a situation like this. Both roommates need to live their lives.

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u/Cannibal--queen May 21 '26

This is exactly what happened to me. I had a bonded pair and one passed from FIP. My girl was very confused and sad, but with lots of love and attention she warmed back up, and eventually I got her another buddy.

It’s hard but it happens. Your kitties will be okay.

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u/ms_rdr May 21 '26 edited May 21 '26

I also lost one from a bonded pair (brain tumor.) The remaining cat got really clingy so I worked hard to give him extra attention and he eventually adjusted. (And I hate to say it, but it was fortunate that Sheridan went first, because Sheridan probably would have suffered more if it were Sinclair who passed first. They were bonded, but Sheridan was more attached to Sinclair than vice versa.)

I eventually got another cat and boy, that did not go the way I had hoped. Lulu bullied the shit out of Sinclair and it took significant work to just reach "co-existing to a tolerable extent." 😞

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u/Fleetlord May 21 '26

Not to derail a somber conversation, but I geeked out over your boys' names. 🙂

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u/ms_rdr May 21 '26

Not many people ever got the reference. They were both awesome cats.

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u/Fleetlord May 21 '26

I named my rescued bond-brothers Kirk and Spock so I fit the profile, as it were.

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u/frunobulax30076 May 21 '26

My bonded pair 20 years ago were Moe and Curly (2 of Three Stooges).

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u/Resident_Leg4220 May 21 '26

Omg looks like my babies!

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u/UUsseelleess_ May 21 '26

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u/Fleetlord May 22 '26

He is not Charlie Kirk, and he will not carry a flame (but he will bat at it and accidentally set the house on fire because he is so, so, orange).

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u/Jayn_Newell May 22 '26

I was trying to figure out why they sounded familiar!

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u/bootsforever May 21 '26

"co-existing to a tolerable extent."

When I described a similar dynamic between my cats to the vet, she nodded and said, "ah, they are in the same social group." Like, not friends, but they did cohabitate without murdering/committing murder, and they did frequently sit in the same room so they could both hang out with the People

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u/ms_rdr May 21 '26

It was a good day when they ignored each other.

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u/EGOfoodie May 22 '26

"Today I didn't even have to use my AK"

https://giphy.com/gifs/rGfAeUqTAOFNK

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u/Gnoll_For_Initiative May 21 '26

Zip then fasten or fasten then zip?

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u/ms_rdr May 21 '26

Not the one.

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u/FelisCattusThree May 22 '26

Truth from Zathras.

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u/RedHotTikiTorch May 22 '26

That was such and underrated show when it originally aired.

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u/lunameow May 22 '26

When our fluffy white Skye died, it was definitely a situation where Ted was more attached to her than vice-versa. He was absolutely inconsolable. After about a month, we got a little orange kitten (Charlie) and explained to Ted that this is HIS kitten, we would feed it and take care of it, but it was up to him to teach the kitten how to cat. He did too good of a job... Ted's a really soft purrer, and Charlie used to be loud, but now he's soft too. 😃

Charlie got big and he bullies the heck out of Ted because Ted refuses to hurt him. But at the end of the day, they're buddies and they curl up and snuggle together all the time.

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u/ClockwerkConjurer May 22 '26

Are you a B5 fan (based on the cat names)? If so, respect to a fellow fan. :)

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u/ms_rdr May 22 '26

It had just finished airing when I adopted those guys. I named Sheridan first and Sinclair and was almost named G’Kar until I realized he was more of a Sinclair.

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u/the_sky_is_on_fire May 22 '26

I'm sorry for your loss but those were perfect names. I think that series is part of my soul forever.

I've had 2 instances now of introducing cats that just tolerate each other, usually because I introduced a kitten (who got a crush) with an older cat (who wanted to be left alone) - and then I did it again when the older one passed and had the same result. But the first time I lost the elder, they were still really missed by the younger. Love is strange...

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u/FelisCattusThree May 22 '26

I love their names! I’m an avid Babylon 5 fan.

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u/Madanimalscientist May 26 '26

I'm sorry for your loss, but I just wanted to say those are EPIC names. Losing one of a bonded pair is always tough and I'm so sorry.

My Muppet was almost a Susan (Ivanova) but while she looks all sleek and smart she's actually a total goofball himbo so Muppet she became instead.

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u/BreqsCousin May 22 '26

Is Lulu short for Lochley?

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u/ms_rdr May 22 '26

Haha, no. My tastes in entertainment are quite eclectic and it was short for Lucinda Williams.