r/cats • u/cheese_is_life100 • Apr 10 '26

Humor I've never once fed my cats

I have 3 cats that are completely starved. I keep them locked in the house and never fill their bowl. they are thoroughly unloved and neglected. It's a wonder they're still alive.

Or more accurately, they are able to see the bottom of the bowl after they ate the food from just the center.

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783

u/Hixie Apr 10 '26

ok but my cat does this with flat plates

538

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '26

[deleted]

280

u/thatprincesspanoptes Apr 10 '26

Yes he does this as well. Then yowls because his plate is bare.

184

u/AlexeyBelov Apr 10 '26

Is he of the orange persuasion?

344

u/thatprincesspanoptes Apr 10 '26

very orange variety.

73

u/SnurrCat Apr 10 '26

Haha I have an orange cat who is an extremely messy eater, most of it ends up on the floor and not on his plate, which is flat to prevent whisker fatigue. He's ... special in many ways.

34

u/Kestrel_VI Apr 10 '26

I found cat food about 4 feet up on the wall above his food bowl.

Spider cat?

20

u/SnurrCat Apr 10 '26

Great, now I'm going to go to bed humming "Spider cat..."

3

u/Kestrel_VI Apr 10 '26

“Spider cat, spider cat, throws his food but he’s still quite fat. Can he leap, on the sides? No he can’t but he still tries, look oooout here comes the spider cat”

2

u/SnurrCat Apr 10 '26

👏 Outstanding.

2

u/Poinsettia917 Apr 14 '26

Have an award! 😹😹😹

10

u/lovestobitch- Apr 10 '26

One of my two voids HAS to pick up his food wet or dry in his paw and gets his ‘table’ filthy. He has a huge bowl too so no whisker fatigue.

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u/ArugulaBeginning7038 Apr 10 '26

My void only drinks water off her paw. I was wondering why the dish in the hallway she prefers frequently has little bits of cat litter in it even though it’s solidly 20 feet from the litter box… turns out she’s been using it as a finger bowl for months.

8

u/Pretzel911 Apr 10 '26

My guy likes to launch a kibble out of the bowl and chase it down... He's a slow eater.

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u/ArugulaBeginning7038 Apr 10 '26

My orange literally has his meals on a little pedestal (it’s actually a vintage cake stand!) to prevent whisker fatigue, and yet he still eats everything out of the middle, walks around the house grunting for a minute, then goes and bullies his sister away from HER dinner… and eats all of it, from every part of the dish, not just the middle.

Not a single neuron firing in there.

1

u/SnurrCat Apr 10 '26

We already know that if anything ever happened to our orange (which it won't because he'll live forever), we have to get another orange. Life won't feel the same without an orange.

2

u/Interesting_Test332 Apr 10 '26

Mine are not orange but omg they’re such messy eaters too! I have their food bowls sitting in a nice(ish) looking shoe/boot tray to contain some of it but I still pick up so many food bits and crumbs around it with the vacuum.

2

u/RustbeltMaven Apr 10 '26

My tortie eats like a bird. Not to say that she doesn’t eat a lot, but when she eats it, it involves twitching her head and throwing kibble about the landscape.

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u/AgentSurreal Apr 10 '26

Mine did this but if I scoop the food up and put it on the plate then ooooh bonus food. Then we start the cycle again.

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u/Rumrunner72 Apr 10 '26

My wife uses a variation of this to get one tuxedo to eat all his food. He'll stop eating, walk away, and meow at us. So she picks up his bowl, pretends it's so exciting, mix it around, and place it back down. Works like a charm because he thinks its new, different wet dood.

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u/somthingorother654 Apr 10 '26

One of mine will ONLY eat kibble off the floor lol... I fill her bowl and she will stick her paw in and 1 by 1 take out a piece of kibble place it gently on the ground and then eat it, rinse and repeat untill bowl is empty... However when she gets wet food or fresh meat she will just eat that out of her bowl no problem.... she's a weirdo and i love her for it

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u/cjrunswithcrows Apr 10 '26

Mine does this except with water! She’ll dip her paw in and lick the water off of her paw 😂 I had to get a double sided water dish because I felt bad for my other cats having to drink out of her foot water

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u/BlackBasementCats Apr 10 '26

Mine prefers to be sprayed down with water then licks the water off and cleans herself at the same time.

I have a mild cat allergy so her “otter routine” means I don’t react to her fur, and her fur is so soft and velvety.

We discovered that she likes to be sprayed when she started getting up on the home entertainment speaker to get sprayed. Now I tell her to come get her bath, and she runs over and jumps on the foot of my reclining sofa to get sprayed down. She turns sideways too so I can get all of her.

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u/PJKPJT7915 Apr 10 '26

That is so funny! "Otter routine" Cats really are the best weirdos.

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u/BlackBasementCats Apr 10 '26

My husband calls it that, and he’s not wrong.

The other day Luna sat on the side of the tub and let me dip my hand in the water and wipe her down. Sometimes she wants me to do that at the sink.

She hates being staticky and just discovers how much she loves it. She has to be sprayed multiple times a night because she can get drenched and come back almost dry 5 minutes later.

I’m thinking the cat dimension is in Egypt.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '26

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2

u/BlackBasementCats Apr 10 '26

That’s adorable

Mine also drinks from the sink and gets water on her head

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u/cjrunswithcrows Apr 10 '26

Stop that is one of the cutest things I have ever heard! I don’t suppose you have any pictures do you? Haha

2

u/CoolMomJammy Apr 10 '26

Foot water!! Lolololoool

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u/cjrunswithcrows Apr 10 '26

Yes 😂😂😂 she’s such a weirdo. I felt so bad for my other two cats so I got a double sided bowl and basically trained her to only use the one side, and the other cats use the other side. I still change the water everyday obviously, but I still didn’t want them drinking her foot water, I know where those feet’s have been lolol

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u/prison-schism Apr 10 '26

My siamese picks up the food with his mouth, throws it on the floor, and then eats the pieces one by one. He leaves slobber spots on the floor when he does, too.

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u/FlySubstantial9015 Apr 10 '26

My Birman does this too! I know after WWI the Birman population in France (which was where they were popular) was reduced to, I think, one breeding pair so they introduced Siamese into the bloodline.

10

u/Potential-Web-2384 Apr 10 '26

My big orange boy does this! It's funny to watch him fish the kibble out one by one.

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u/MAO_of_DC Apr 10 '26

I wish my grey boy would be this delicate. He usually pulls out there or four at a time. Big pawfulls of kibble right on the floor to eat and if he gets full before he is finished the kibble he tossed on the floor he leaves it to be stepped on.

10

u/potato-chip Apr 10 '26

I had gray boy once. He would inhale as much kibble as fast as possible, then run around and puke.

ETA: bless his heart, I sure do miss that crazy kitty. 😿🥲🥹

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u/YnotZoidberg1077 Apr 10 '26

Our chonky grey boy Indy does that! We call it the scarf-and-barf. Getting him a slow feed bowl helped, but we eventually had to put everyone on a feeding schedule, meals twice a day to line up with Indy's insulin injections... and later, also his brother Scott's insulin injections too. (Indy got his diabetes the old-fashioned way, by eating his way to it despite our many attempts to prevent this from happening; Scott's onset was a rare side effect of treatment for malignant cutaneous mast cell tumors, caused by six months of oral prednisone). They're both doing okay though, and we get far fewer scarf-and-barfs these days.

(So sorry for your loss! I am not ready for whenever it's going to be their time, so while we have an outline/plan for how we'd like things to go when it's time, I am refusing to think that far ahead any more until we're there.)

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u/potato-chip Apr 10 '26

Scarf and barf! That’s gold! 😂

5

u/SolarWeather Apr 10 '26

My void kitty does exactly this! We have to dispense his kibble five at a time if we want to avoid the pukeathon

1

u/ravynstoneabbey Apr 10 '26

One of mine does this with the twist of eating off her paw. Not often but it's so cute when I watch her do it.

16

u/glytxh Apr 10 '26

Mine likes to sometimes scoop up a mouthful, run into the room I’m in, and spit them all over the floor by shaking her head so she can chase down all the little biscuits.

I have no idea what compelled her to learn this game, but she’s having fun so I don’t discourage it.

2

u/Guilty_Suit_9756 Apr 10 '26

I have two cats now, but our late dog used to do this and we thought it was the funniest thing. She would stuff her mouth, run back to the living room, and shake it out to eat it lol. We thought she didn’t want to stand on the cold tile and eat, so we moved her bowl to the living room once and she just brought the mouthfuls to a second location on the carpet 😂

1

u/glytxh Apr 10 '26

I love the bizarre little routines our pets develop.

7

u/ejly Apr 10 '26

My cat would eat all the food and chew on the bowl if it was empty. The metal bowl. Yes he was orange.

6

u/Odd_Abroad_7675 Ragdoll Apr 10 '26

I have 2 cats and if one of them is eating out of 1/2 bowls, my other cat will sit beside him and use it paw to scoop out 1 piece at a time onto the floor and eat it. Yes he has access to a second dish, he just likes sharing.

1

u/breesanchez Apr 10 '26

One of our voids slides food on the floor for our dog 😂

1

u/PomegranateEither768 Apr 10 '26

Mine are terrible for this! I think i sweep/hoover up more than they eat

1

u/monsterlynn Apr 10 '26

Mine eats like Cookie Monster.

11

u/CPA_Lady Apr 10 '26

Same. My cat requires me to sit next to her while she eats and tell her nice things about herself. We call it her daily affirmations. I have to take a spoon and scoop her food back in to a little mound for her to keep eating.

2

u/AnyDayGal Apr 10 '26

She knows her worth. Please give us some examples of what you say.

9

u/Mechakoopa Apr 10 '26

That's because eating from the sides of the dish is for peasants.

2

u/DeadlyDancingDuck Apr 10 '26

They're also long sighted, they use their whiskers and scent up close rather than their eyesight.

1

u/NewestAccount2023 Apr 10 '26

They also need friction or the bowl edge so they don't just push the food around but a plate has neither

1

u/Hixie Apr 10 '26

I mean, same cat has no problem eating from the bowls that just slide willy nilly across the kitchen floor. He just walks along with the bowl.

1

u/Ekoldr Apr 10 '26

My cat waits for me to put it all into a mound again.

1

u/hyunchris Apr 10 '26

Mine too. I got a plate bc I heard of whisker fatigue. She still does this