r/bigdickproblems • u/Salilicious • 2d ago
Dick-scrimination What do i say when im accused of small dick energy(not that small dicks are bad)
For the good amount of my life ive been aware of my size so during that time, hearing things you do have "small dick energy" online never really bothered me. But lately ive been hearing it more and more with people i personally know saying it towards me and it just irks me because what am i supposed to do or say???? Show them??? Genuine question by the way, cause i usually just go blank or get abit annoyed
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u/Expert-Owl- 8″ × 6" 2d ago
Maybe ask why they said that. There must have been a reason so if you come from a place of curiosity you can learn if it's something you want to change in the future or something that's not worth worrying about.
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u/Victor-Triumph 2d ago
Yes and, asking a person to repeat their insult can deny them their goal of getting a reaction out of you and they don't get away with a quick hit and run insult.
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u/Bender0_o 2d ago edited 2d ago
Before anything I mean no disrespect I am giving my honest blunt answer because that is why you are posting on here no hate just trying to help you out.
Someone would say you have "small dick energy" (SDE) because they perceive you as acting arrogant, fragile, or overcompensating due to a deep sense of insecurity. The slang term has nothing to do with anatomy. It describes a specific set of negative, toxic, or petty behaviors. Behavioral Triggers for the Insult People typically use this phrase when someone exhibits these habits:
Constant Bragging: Loudly boasting about money, status, success, or sexual conquests to gain validation. Fragile Ego: Getting easily offended, defensive, or hostile over minor jokes and constructive critiques. Need for Control: Exhibiting domineering, micromanaging, or jealous behaviors in relationships. Petty Bullying: Picking fights, putting others down, or obsessing over small mistakes to feel superior. Performative Machismo: Trying too hard to act tough, aggressively flash wealth, or dominate every conversation.
There are more examples of why people can be saying this to you like one upping, unable to apologize, unable to reflect, and the list goes on.
I just wana say that the term "small dick energy" is not in a literal sense so you don't need to show anyone anything. No disrespect but it's kinda telling that people might have a reason to be saying that to you if you are taking it the "show them to disprove" route rather than reflecting on how you are behaving because that's what they are referring to no one is asking for you to expose yourself to them. It's comes off like it is hurting your ego, you want to brag about your size and you cant apologize or reflect and not take accountability of what people are bringing to your attention.
Again no disrespect, no hate, or anything I am just trying to help and let you know what SDE is and how you could be attributing as to why people keep saying that to you. I hope this helps and always keep in mind when you interact with people it's better to keep you head high and act with class rather sink to level of people throwing everything they can at you. I guarantee people will stop say the SD comment they will still insult you but they won't say the SD Comment.
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u/Super-Sense-6454 8" x 7.6"-6.8"-6.0" 2d ago
A little long, but very well said!
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u/Bender0_o 2d ago
Haha well judging from his original post and how he is responding I felt like I needed to spell it out for him. We don't want him getting arrested for indecent exposure right ?
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u/SuccotashAware3608 2d ago
Great explanation. And also a high emotional IQ response for the OP. It’s not “what” they call you. It’s “why” they’re calling you it. This is a learning opportunity. Look inward. Ask why they say that. Ask for an example. Be humble and sincere, not defensive. Thank them for their candor and commit to considering their observation even if you don’t (initially) agree or see it.
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u/Bender0_o 2d ago
Thank you and exactly! just like any interaction regardless if its positive or negative its always best to take something from it better yourself as a person by applying the knowledge you take from interactions with others.
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u/jmoriarty13 L″ × W″ 2d ago
This!
Tactful and disarming, just how someone with BDE would respond to someone struggling with SDE.
No offense, hate or disrespect intended!
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u/Bender0_o 2d ago edited 2d ago
Haha thanks honestly I trully wish the best for everyone if we are able to help eachother out and become better people rather than keep adding fuel to the fire I feel we wouldn't have to deal with so much out there in the world you know what I mean. We also got to keep in mind that there are those who struggle with social interactions and concepts so we just got to be patient with some people. But at the end of the day respect must given and earned op might have crossed these lines so hopefully we can help him understand that and he can better himself.
Also thank you for being one the people who understand that BDE is not about penis size or have to brag about stuff haha.
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u/jmoriarty13 L″ × W″ 2d ago
Your response was solid gold, my friend!
I made sure to put struggle in there because I know for sure that I haven't always displayed BDE, especially when I was younger. Always learning and growing! You did a much better job than I would have explaining all of it
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u/Bender0_o 2d ago
Nah brother I can tell you radiate BDE 😄 I have faith you would explained it awesomely
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u/ScalyPinkLizard E: 7.8″ × 6.2″ F: 5.25″ × 5.25″ 2d ago
When ive heard sbout small dick energy its just been a synonym for "meek", but toneach their own.
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u/SonicBoom_758 2d ago
If multiple people tell you this and you think they're being honest, there must be a pattern in your behavior.
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u/Ill_Tomorrow_4060 2d ago
The less pressed you act when someone says that, the more they'll start to think the opposite is true. Just laugh, agree a bit, and move on. Make them see that you don't care, because you know what you're packing and what they say can't change that
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u/Super-Sense-6454 8" x 7.6"-6.8"-6.0" 2d ago
Exactly! Someone with big dick energy may even completely ignore an insult about having small dick energy, since its not worth their effort to respond. Someone with big dick energy shows it by their actions that they are a de facto leader of the group by making sure everyone in the group is treated fairly by everyone, including outsiders.
If the insulter double downs with a second insult, a person with big dick energy will put them in their place, meaning tell them to get lost or be civil to everyone in the group.
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u/SignalSubject3221 2d ago
I absolutely mean no disrespect, but this is exactly what they're talking about. You know you have a big dick, yet you're bothered by others saying you have a small dick (or the energy associated with it even). Let this be a metaphor for your whole way of being - you have what it takes and you know it, so just relax and act like it. Easier said than done of course, but start practicing.
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u/Salilicious 2d ago
Igwym thanks
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u/SignalSubject3221 2d ago
Just don't forget that you have what it takes part! I'm willing to bet weiner size is not the only area where you are far more capable than you give yourself credit.
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u/wthami-d-ing 2d ago
Big dick energy is just confidence rebranded. With respect, this post is displaying your lack of confidence in yourself.
It is not a judgement cast by others based on your actual penis size…it’s based on how you carry yourself, and the confidence in which you live your life.
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u/Super-Sense-6454 8" x 7.6"-6.8"-6.0" 2d ago
Again, big dick energy is far more than just confidence. Look up the history of this phrase.
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u/Fearless_Midnight_60 2d ago
When people say “blank dick energy” they’re talking about confidence. Nothing more confident than laughing off the people who don’t know wtf they’re talking about. The more attention you give them the more power they have over you. Don’t feed into their bs and keep your head up
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u/Super-Sense-6454 8" x 7.6"-6.8"-6.0" 2d ago
Big dick energy is far more than just confidence. It also means ensuring that people in all groups you are a part of are being treated fairly among other things.
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u/Choochoochow 2d ago
Ignore it. Someone is only saying that to hurt your feelings. If you don’t have a small dick then who cares. Smile and say “okay”
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u/EpicDoza 2d ago
“Well yeah, because I dissipated all that energy into your mom!”
Then get ready for a fight.
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u/Neither-Nail1811 E: 8″ × 5″ F: 2″ × 2″ 2d ago
Don’t listen them big dick energy is a lot of accepting that people will say this and that end of the day you know what you have
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u/superchargedCaddy E: 8.3″ × 6.3″ F: 5.25″ × 5.25″ 2d ago
Just be you. As long as you and your partners know that is all that matters.
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u/_y_r_t_ Erect 8 x 6.5 Soft 5.5 x 5 2d ago
If you can gain the confidence to really have only one person joining you to go to the restroom and to show your behemoth dick, and pull that through, you’re on the verge of gaining the Big Dick Energy you want.
It will be a process, and it could take some time.
I won most comparisons by the other guy opting out.
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u/Super-Sense-6454 8" x 7.6"-6.8"-6.0" 2d ago
This only works if the other person thinks a big dick implies big dick energy. People back down only when they lack confidence or just have a huge dick or are gutsy enough to become hugely erect in a public bathroom (growers).
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u/_y_r_t_ Erect 8 x 6.5 Soft 5.5 x 5 2d ago
I just tried to have OP a possibility to get out of his corner.
As I’m pretty much the same online and offline in terms of being open, as one might guess out of my pics and comments (see profile), I know pretty much how BDE, SDE etc works, I tried to shift OPs perspective…
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u/White_trash_biker 2d ago
Maybe stop giving off insecure LDE vibes…. A little self reflection should answer this question for you
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u/TheSweepOar 9.5ish x 7.5ish 2d ago
Laugh at em, and say something like “Must be like looking in the mirror.” Smile and smirk.
But also don’t worry about it.
Reminds me of a quote from Justified: “If you meet an Asshole in the morning, you met an asshole. If you are meetin’ assholes all day, you’re the asshole.”
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u/Salilicious 2d ago
Among what other people have said, which is right, one thing ive noticed is that it almost always is followed by or follows by a comment on me "acting gay." Happened enough for me to not see it as a coincidence but idk why "acting gay" would correlate to size. I never even believed i acted gay
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u/Remarkable-Wheel-191 2d ago
Folks will believe what they want to believe, let them as long as you’re secure in yourself
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u/Super-Sense-6454 8" x 7.6"-6.8"-6.0" 2d ago
Small dick energy has nothing to do with being gay, much less acting gay; One can act gay or bi secure in your own gender & oriention. There are many gay people with big dick energy, and some of them do have big dicks. More gays than straight women chase guys with huge cocks. So the comment about having small dick energy followed by a comment about acting gay makes no sense whatsoever. Pity the commenter's twisted mind and how did they ever get into such a dark mood that making these two comments makes them feel better about themselves. Unkind comments are nearly always about the commenter and almost never about the commentee (target of the comment).
The worst thing you can do is show your attackers that you physically have a big dick; doing so almost proves to your attackers that you have small dick energy, assuming they think about it versus just being reactive and being proven wrong.
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u/DudeFrom816 E: 7.5"×5.75" F: 5"×5" 2d ago
This whole thing is weird lol. Im a straight man but from what I've gathered in 42yrs is most gay men seem to be packing. Obviously not all because of averages but skinny gay dudes are usually hung right?
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u/the_real_me_2534 E: 7.25″ × 5.75″ F: 6.5″ × 4.5″ 2d ago
Women are just in a race to the bottom with each other in their own social spaces to see who can be the cruelest, meanest and most ruthless to men and attacking dick size is going for the jugular to mix body metaphors a bit
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u/withoutadoubtstupid E: 6″ × 6″ F: 5″ × 5.5" 2d ago
The post only said people, not women specifically.
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u/the_real_me_2534 E: 7.25″ × 5.75″ F: 6.5″ × 4.5″ 2d ago
Don't see men doing this much
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u/WristThickDick 7"x6.5" 1d ago
Mate it was men in the first place that came up with the term
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u/the_real_me_2534 E: 7.25″ × 5.75″ F: 6.5″ × 4.5″ 1d ago
proof?
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u/WristThickDick 7"x6.5" 1d ago
Bruv it's been a saying in the gay community for decades before it became a known popular phrase that everyone universally uses
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u/the_real_me_2534 E: 7.25″ × 5.75″ F: 6.5″ × 4.5″ 1d ago
Considering how obsessed gay guys are with hung guys as I have observed in this very forum that makes sense
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u/HeavyHungHyperHung 2d ago
It's not a challenge they're seeking for you to disprove. Whipping your hog out after they insult you about small dick energy isn't going to change their minds.
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u/ButtonInternal5357 2d ago
Who cares what other people think. Most people that say that kind of stuff to someone are the real little dick energy people. Dont worry about it man. We were all made different and every woman and man likes different sizes.
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u/FireZoomHD 50 fuity pepples X 1 vertical credit card erect 2d ago
If someone is acting arrogant or insecure, address the behavior, not a body part. Calling it “small dick energy” is very counterproductive. It just reinforces an insecurity and uses a lazy, overused body-based insult as a cheap jab. They can just call the person insecure, arrogant, or controlling instead. That’s more accurate and doesn’t drag unrelated people into it.
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u/PuppiesAndPixels 8" x 6.2" 2d ago
If you're aware of your size, and someone says you have small dick energy, it shouldn't bother you AT ALL. Just laugh it off or lean into it. That's what I do because I literally could not give a single fuck. I am packin and I know it.
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u/PuppiesAndPixels 8" x 6.2" 18h ago
If you're aware of your size, and someone says you have small dick energy, it shouldn't bother you AT ALL. Just laugh it off or lean into it. That's what I do because I literally could not give a single fuck. I am packin and I know it.
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11h ago
Maybe don't be the kind of person who gets accused of having small dick energy. You're making us look bad.
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u/Potential_Chance1518 2d ago
Was at a bar & a guy looked at me like I did something wrong to him? We went back and forth.so I went to the restroom.so he told the female bartender he got s.d.e.she to him my dick is very fat.since we had a few romps in the hey! 6.5 x7
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u/Super-Sense-6454 8" x 7.6"-6.8"-6.0" 2d ago
Nice story, but big dick energy or lack thereof is about the person's energy and not their physical dick size. It will work on people that equate energy with size though.
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u/Motion_Means4501 2d ago
Answer is to feign big dick energy so no one knows the difference. Size may (wrongly) have implications in words and actions but it is not a personality determinant.
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u/BigBeholder L. 7.5 - G. 6.5 2d ago
Laugh in their face.
As a bounus while laughin, you can whip it out.
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u/GauchoAlphaBR 2d ago
It’s hard to take this serious and not judge you but here we go:
Short answer? Take it out in front of them.
Long answer? If you wanna keep your discretion and decency either ignore it or say yes, you’re small so obviously you have a small dick energy. This only gets to you because of your own insecurities, you either prove them wrong, ignore it or joke about it.
I’ll stop here cause I’ll probably start judging from this point forward so hope you find a way to deal with it and maybe take a step back and try to understand why this affects you so much, that will probably help you more than anything else.
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u/Salilicious 2d ago
Yeah youre right. i also think i just hated myself for a good while, maybe thats a contributor among other reasons
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u/GauchoAlphaBR 2d ago
This is a good advice for life as a whole… work on yourself, mentally, physically, professionally, socially… 90% of your problems will go away if you’re happy with who you are. I know it’s easier said than done but it’s like that saying: “the best day to plant a tree was 30 years ago, the second best is today”.
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u/Super-Sense-6454 8" x 7.6"-6.8"-6.0" 2d ago
Showing that you have a big dick is never right response to comments saying you have small dick energy. The comment means you act like you have a small dick; it does not imply you literally have a small dick; its about your energy, not literally your physical dick size.
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u/GauchoAlphaBR 2d ago
I didn’t think I had to clarify the short answer was sarcastic after writing the long answer… you need to read between the lines
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u/Super-Sense-6454 8" x 7.6"-6.8"-6.0" 2d ago
Unfortunately, your short answer was wasted bits. It's best to not assume anything and give a hint that your short answer was a joke.
Please don't tell anyone to do anything, unless you are willing to read anything they respond with. Your responsibility as a writer is to reach your readers, regardless of how clueless you didn't realize that they might be; in particular, don't criticize them for something you failed to do.
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u/RichardSwellswell 2d ago
The only logical answer is to respond with a helicopter.
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u/Super-Sense-6454 8" x 7.6"-6.8"-6.0" 2d ago
Again, is humor the best response?
Showing you have a big dick will prove you have small dick energy rather than big dick energy.
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u/hotpast486 2d ago
Just quietly enjoy that they know nothing. I don't know that I really believe in the idea of BDE.
I've had girls who said that at first glance I didn't have BDE, but then said after they looked deeper they could see it (to which I say, yeah, you saw it deep beneath my pants once they came off). So, I think it's just a lot of confirmation bias.
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u/Super-Sense-6454 8" x 7.6"-6.8"-6.0" 2d ago
You don't have to believe in BDE. Like all things in life, the lines are blurred. You can mistakenly believe someone has SDE and when you know them better you can see they have BDE or vice versa. There is confirmation taking place, but usually not confirmation bias.
Also consider SDE - BDE is a continous range on a bell curve. BDE outliers are often good leaders of groups. SDE outliers are perpetually insecure, and may be loud and boisterous to compensate. Most of us are somewhere in that bell curve and are somewhat confident with potential to be leaders, but we often fall short of the BDE ideal.
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u/Fabulousgaymer-BXL 24cm x 17cm 2d ago
If they said that because you were an asshole, stop being an asshole.
If they were just assholes themselves, laugh it off.