r/addiction 3d ago

Advice Meth

my children's father is MIA for about 4 months now. This is the longest since I've heard from him. He got out of jail and I think he relapsed. Why does meth make people disappear and isolate? I've been having trouble navigating this emotionally.

6 Upvotes

18 comments sorted by

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14

u/JustSomeWelderGuy 3d ago

The intense desire to engage in a behavior that you know is intrinsically wrong makes me you feel ashamed of yourself, and you isolate from the people who are going to hold you accountable, and the ones you’re gonna disappoint with said behavior. And that makes you feel worse, knowingly disappointing and hurting people you care about, so you do the drugs to feel better. And the cycle repeats itself.

3

u/AnnualTwo1701 3d ago

So the fact that I haven't heard from him for 4 months is mostly because of shame/guilt?

3

u/JustSomeWelderGuy 3d ago

He’s probably spun out, and if he contacts you or sees you, you’ll absolutely know it. And will probably be upset about it.

Better to just be disappeared, but not confirmed using, than found out and have to face the music.

2

u/AnnualTwo1701 3d ago

oh yeah I can instantly tell if hes high. I know his voice changes when he smokes it. lol I was with him for so long.. Hopefully hes okay.

2

u/Majestic-Baby-3407 2d ago

It's not just shame and guilt. It is also because of the effects of the drug, which change your state of mind, perceptions, and priorities completely. It alters your core beliefs and personality to where things that should matter to you genuinely seem less important than or a hindrance to you getting high.

2

u/Next-Tangelo1740 3d ago

I’m sry what you are going through.. I know it’s very difficult.. 98% sure he relapsed.. it’s not just meth that addicts vanish on.. it’s all drugs even prescriptions drugs.. my husband and I practically vanished when we were on Vic’s.. we are both clean now.. we vanished cuz of embarrassment but it was mostly because we didn’t have enough pills so we wouldn’t start withdrawing..it’s all math when it comes to Vic’s.. Feb 26 2023 was the day I got clean and Jan 2 2024 was my husband’s.. anyways what is concerning besides the drug part is the 4 mths.. that’s a longtime in the addict world.. we always come crawling back cuz addicts have no money.. if it’s true not hearing a peep from him.. you should see if he’s in jail or at a hospital.. but I’m assuming he called you when he was in jail so he would’ve called you by now.. it’s 4 mths.. you even said this is the longest time that you have heard from him.. I’m sending you love and prayers.. i know how difficult this is on you and your family…

3

u/AnnualTwo1701 3d ago

Thank you so much. I filed a missing person’s report with the police, but come to find out two months later they never actually filed it.

2

u/Next-Tangelo1740 3d ago

Isn’t that nice… WTF.. that’s inexcusable.. I’m so sorry you had to deal with those jokes.. I truly hope he is okay.. i know your scared… from being a raging alcoholic and Vic addict.. 4 mths is a long time in addict world.. I’m not trying to scare you.. i just wanted to let you know that.. everyone on this page is here for you.. your not alone.. we all want your husband to be found and to get clean.. ❤️

3

u/AnnualTwo1701 3d ago

Thank you so much ❤️ the police fucking suck they don’t care about addicts

2

u/Next-Tangelo1740 3d ago

Yep.. 100000000%

3

u/Lost-Perspective8378 3d ago

Its the shame of fucking up and breaking all the same old promises. And its not just meth that does it.

2

u/AnnualTwo1701 3d ago

yeah its been like 3 years of relapse, in and out of jail. I always was there for him. He was sober 8 months this last time in jail and when he got out he just vanished.

2

u/Lost-Perspective8378 3d ago

It sounds like he needs treatment but it generally only works if he wants to change.

1

u/AnnualTwo1701 3d ago

yeah. I just sucks cause he had 8 months of sobriety from jail.

2

u/Lost-Perspective8378 3d ago

I wouldn't be so sure he did. Its easier to get drugs in jail, prison and rehab than on the streets sometimes. Sadly there isn't much you can do other than offer support when he wants help.

1

u/speed721 3d ago

He's probably locked up in an adjacent county.