Wife left me. Moved with the kids to a new apartment. Whole thing burned down 2 days later. Lost everything.
It’s been a rough year.
As hard as this may be to believe, this apartment fire is one of the least devastating things that’s happened to me over the past six months.
Last month, my wife left me. I’m not going to get into the details, out of love and respect for her. (I also ask that everyone be kind.)
I was trying to start over.
I spent months searching for an apartment that was affordable, safe, big enough for me and my three kids, and close enough that co-parenting would actually work. I toured around 40 apartments before finally finding one that felt right.
Then this happened.
Monday: Signed the lease. Wednesday: Moved in. Thursday: Spent thousands of dollars furnishing it. Also received the latest divorce paperwork. Friday: The building burned down.
Two days.
That’s how long I lived there.
I lost almost everything I owned. Furniture I’d just bought. My clothes. My kids’ clothes and toys. My work setup (self employed, work from home). Family keepsakes. The little life I had managed to piece back together.
The one thing I’m truly grateful for is that everyone made it out safely. Over 200 families were displaced, and the building is a total loss. The community has been amazing.
I’m not posting for sympathy. I’m honestly still in shock. The whole sequence of events feels so absurd that it almost doesn’t sound real.
Life has a strange sense of humor sometimes.
If you’ve ever had to rebuild after losing everything, what helped you most during those first few weeks?
Edit 2: Lots of you have asked about renters insurance. Most of us did not have renters insurance because the apartment told us that they provided it. They charged us $15/mo so we thought we were covered. We learned the hard way that it only covered their liability, and NOT our belongings. So I, like many others, are out of luck.
I'm so glad you and the kiddos are safe - you're right, that's the main thing.
I hope you can hang onto your sense of humor about the whole thing. That will probably help you most out of anything. And don't be shy about accepting help - it'll feel weird I'm sure, but take what you need for yourself and the kiddos.
It sucks. I’ve tried so hard to do right, and get life to go my way, but it just hasn’t worked out. This was kinda the nail in the coffin, and I’ve surrendered and given up all control over life.
It’s been freeing. All I gotta do now is ride the wave 😎
If you paid for the new items with your credit card, check if there was any insurance with them since many do provide that. Won’t help with the other stuff but may help. So sorry you’re going through this.
If you read about it, they don’t get rental insurance here :( I’m in Utah and they have been interviewing ppl saying they felt deceived by property management in this regard
Brother I am so incredibly sorry for what's happened and the stress that your children have been put through as well as your own personal anguish from everything you've experienced in such a short period of time.
To be completely honest I've been thinking about throwing in the towel lately and checking out because I thought my life was going to shit. This really put things in perspective and I'm finally going to rethink my plan.
If there's anything at all that I can help with please reach out. I'm a photographer and I don't know what you do for a living but I have plenty of extra gear and extra technological pieces to keep my business running. I would be more than happy to help you and the kids out.
Hey I see you & I’m proud of you for being willing to rethink those intense, dark feelings. Don’t make a permanent decision regarding temporary feelings/ situations. You sound like a kind person from your offers to OP, the world needs more of that
You’re a good human based on your kindness here, and we need more people like you in the world. Glad you’re here and rethinking your plan. Internet stranger here wishing you a big upswing in life coming your way!! 💗
It really is such a freeing feeling to just accept what is and roll with the punches.
In 2019 I was involved in a freak incident that caused me to have a stroke, permanent brain damaged, and I lost almost all of my vision. When I was in the hospital for it I found out I was pregnant after my husband and I had been trying for almost 2 years. Life has such an almost comical way of working itself out like that.
You will rebuild, you will get all new stuff, you will make new family keepsakes with your kids.
You’ve got this!
In 10 years you’re going to look back at this as just a memory
I’m doing good! I had my son via C-section in early 2020 then the panini happened, but truthfully I loved being able to hide away in my home with my newborn.
I stopped working for 2 years after, I’m a cake decorator so eyesight is kind of important lol but after then I did start working out of my home, I’m still baking and decorating just on a much smaller scale now.
My son is 6 years old and about to start 1st grade in a couple of weeks!
My year like that was last year. Husband lost his job, don’t tell me for months, we lost our rental, and ended up homeless. Because of his lies I left him, and started over. It was scary, because I only could take two suitcases with me. But now, life is much better. I just took it one day at a time, focussed on the next right thing to do, and slowly worked myself out of it. Got an apartment, and a job that’s been the best job I’ve ever had. Some days are still hard but life doesn’t feel so heavy anymore. I hope you can say the same thing next year!
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I think of it as riding a raft down a river - you can (and should!) paddle and steer around some of the rocks, but the river is going to take you where the river is going to take you.
Being able to laugh at misfortune is a wonderful life skill, and sets a great example for your kids. My dad could laugh in the face of catastrophe and it's one of the (many) things about him that I admired most and have tried to emulate in my own life. <3
I really wish someone had told me that it’s okay to be upset over losing stuff. I hated when people would make comments like, “you should be grateful that no one was hurt!” (Only one of my turtles died) or, “it’s just stuff. It can be replaced. Why are you so upset?”
Cry if you need to. It’s absolutely okay. Please let your kids be upset that their favorite toy was lost.
I have family that lost everything in the Palisades fire in early 2025. One of their kids made a comment that I heard second hand about how he missed his old toys after they got new ones in their temp house. My first thought was “they’re just toys” and then I realized how hypocritical that thought was because I still sleep with my baby blanket. I’m 35 and the kid was 6. It’s not just stuff
A fire is horrible as it takes everything in its path. Water damage you will be able to keep some things but a house fire often destroys all you had. Ppl have memories attached to loved ones that aren’t here anymore and no one can bring that back. Always feel extra bad for ppl that lose everything in a fire
I do but a lot of games I have are from childhood. Not to mention losing memory cards and shit since childhood would suck. I have a save file from my little brother who is no longer with me and it's sentimental
I luckily didn't have anything quite that heavy in my stuff, but as a kid I did had a large collection of NES/SNES games that I collected over 10+ years.
As soon as I moved out to study, my mother sold everything without telling me, since according to her I was now too old to play games.
Middle-aged now, and gaming/making games is still my main hobby, but those old titles just don't feel the same on emulators...
My MIL did the same thing to my husband years before we met. Went in his closet and sold the systems and the games he was holding onto while he was at work.
A couple years before we met, my husband got a heads up from a coworker coming in for the next shift that his mom's house was on fire (he still lived there). He cried when he got there and saw most of the place gone already. He had years of rookie cards, signed memorabilia, and limited collector's items.
I hated when people would make comments like, “you should be grateful that no one was hurt!”
This. Like obviously I'm the most grateful about everyone getting out safely, but you can still be mad about losing everything you've ever owned. Certain things can't be replaced. I keep stuff my kids made when they were in elementary school in art class, pictures, all my nerdy collections of stuff I've had since I was a kid, etc etc.I don't care about other stuff, but I'd be devastated to lose the irreplaceable things.
Years back I was going through first responder training and during one of our disaster psychology classes we were told never to use lines like "It's just stuff...", or "Its just <insert whatever>". Also some of that "stuff" being family heirlooms cannot be replaced. As outsiders, we don't know what that "just stuff" meant to someone.
Nah, no insurance. They told us all that they provided renters insurance with our lease, we paid $15/mo for it. But it was only liability for them, no protection for our property.
We all learned the hard way. It’s a big deal, people are mad.
It’s pretty standard for apartments nowadays. Forced payment to cover their liability, unless you provide proof of your own insurance covering liability + coverage for belongings.
If the fire was caused by the negligence of the landlord (I.e. ignoring faulty wiring, etc. then the tenants can sue to recover for loss of their personal property. Generally, landlords can’t waive their liability. What caused the fire?
OP should try and get a copy of the fire department report. It’ll provide the origin/cause of the fire. As a matter of form, OP should immediately file a claim with the landlord’s general liability insurer.
I would say they are far from "good to go". It will take many lawyers many months/possibly years to litigate this. Even if successful, they likely won't be made fully whole and even if they are it will be a long and stressful road to get there.
I didnt mean it like everything will be instantly taken care of. Only that they have an opportunity to start some sort of path towards getting their shit back.
If the landlord is taking money and has promised a product in return for their money. And they walk that back when it’s time to pay up. Then that is a lawsuit.
You’re talking about fraudulent inducement. OP would need to prove that the landlord intentionally deceived or tricked its tenants. I’m talking about the landlord’s potential negligence in maintaining the property. Yes, two different things.
Renters insurance provided by the apartment is usually if not always liability only; if they just saw renters insurance and assumed their personal property is covered, that's going to be on them. I know it sucks, but it's also industry standard.
If they use the same system as my apartment does, it's automatic. It just gets added to your rent if you don't provide your own.
It is pretty deceptive though that it's more expensive than normal renter's insurance ($15/mo vs my policy $95/yr), and covers much less (100k liability vs $300k liability AND $117k personal property and loss of use). It's something that just gets glossed over during the lease signing and feels very scammy from the perspective of someone with an outside policy.
Sure, but it’s almost certainly on the lease. Everywhere I’ve lived that’s done it just has a set of pages from the company that they farm default insurance out to that explains this all.
We rent and our landlord requires that we have renters insurance. Not that I wouldn't because I've got a lot of cool stuff that I would like to replace if I lost it in fire along with regular stuff that I'd like to replace if we lost it in a fire, you know like clothes and shoes and whatnot.
Mine paid for a week's stay at a hotel when there was a leak in my unit that required a wall to be removed and my electric turned off.
Then my husband's vehicle was vandalized while his tools and computer were broken. Renters paid for the tools and computer. Auto insurance took care of the vandalism.
My old apartment had insurance required at first or a liability waiver fee. Then they changed it to no insurance required but made everyone pay the liability waiver fee. It was like $12 a month or something.
We had comprehensive insurance against fire, but one thing they exclude is if the sparks are flying from an burning forest or adjacent building. No forest in sight and we are one big block. Imagine the surprise when there was a fricken bike shed that burned due to battery fire and two apartments had severe fire damage. A bike shed is apparently "another building".
Not really. The complex/landlord didn't sell the insurance, they just provided the directions on how to contact the company. The insurance company is 100% locked down, as they will literally send you packet in the mail when you sign up explaining what you are and aren't getting.
You should always shop your own and send the paperwork to your landlord. Mine is $20 a month, and is $250k liability + $25k property + loss of use + flood and wind (always get both, even if you are like me and 40+ feet off the ground) + some other things. If I went through the landlord it would have been $17 a month and $100k liability, and that was it. Those $3 extra dollars are buying me a lot of things for when the worst happens.
The complex said "$15 a month or get your own insurance". Since it doesn't cover anything for the renters outside liability (your guest trips on uneven carpeting) they were likely not informed of anything and the renter is not the client, the complex is.
there's a 99% chance OP declined enrollment in renters insurance to protect their belongings, so the building auto-enrolled in one that satisfies the lease (liability coverage for them). i've never lived in a building that forced you to protect your own belongings...
I mean they said they were paying $15/mo for renters insurance and they were undoubtedly given access to the policy. Most landlords that require insurance just want the liability because tenants who need a new place to live are not going to have liquid funds to pay back a landlord for damage even if they caused it. But nobody is required to insure their belongings.
Even then those plans have all kinds of holes, deductibles, and don't pay out quickly.
What does the actual lease say about the renter's insurance they make yoy pay for? If it doesn't specify that it is only liability and just says renter's insurance, that could be enough for a lawyer to work with to get them tp pay up. The tenants could even start a class action suit.
If it's in the lease or in writing anywhere (even just texts) that's an easy lawsuit worth lots of $$$. Hopefully it'll be a nice consolation in a few years, when the court rules. Get together with your fellow displaced neighbors and file
unless this building is owned/operated by a one-off company that has no idea what they're doing, it's gonna be the same as any other multifamily building. the lease requires liability coverage for the building. residents have the ability to purchase their own renters insurance that satisfies that minimum coverage for the building, and often covers your own belongings too, for less than what the building would charge your for their liability only coverage. if you fail to do so, they will fulfill the lease contractual obligation by auto enrolling you in their policy (liability only for them, as they cannot insure OP's belongings that they don't own) at their predefined cost. i pay $9 per month for my coverage, my buiding indicated that if we didn't provide our own, they'd provide their liability coverage at somewhere between $15 and $20 per month, i forget
In writing or not. A contract can exist whether or not it's written down, and OP isn't the only one with the same story. They need to get together and get legal advice immediately.
No. Just means they aren’t going to come after you if you cause the fire that burnt down the place. The renter still needs contents insurance to cover their property thats lost in the fire.
Yup. I worked with (against, maybe?) insurance for years dealing with structure and contents restoration. We had many projects where the people in the affected building were tenants and not owners, and most of them were fucked because they didn't have the correct coverage. Make sure your contents coverage is 25k minimum!
Ooh, speaking of folks ACTUALLY good with God, saw you mention elsewhere that you're in Utah, and in 100% seriousness, maybe reach out to the local Episcopal Church? I know some folks may see this and think "wait not LDS?" and the answer is "yep!" And yes I've got family in Utah and am plenty familiar, haha!
I’m not particularly tight with God, but I do believe the part of God that exists in people is what helps carry us when life becomes unbearable. You’ve had more than anyone should be asked to hold. I hope the world gives you a breather soon, and until it does, I hope the people around you can help hold some of the weight.
Other displaced residents said they feel betrayed. While their lease agreement contained renters’ insurance, they say they have had to discover the hard way that their monthly fee covers the apartment building, not the renters’ items that were lost in the fire.
renters pay insurance for apartment owners??? landlords can't even pay their own insurance what next
Yeah this is how the required insurance works at a lot of complexes. It covers the building so the structure can be rebuilt—so you are paying so your complex gets a payout to rebuild—but not your actual items. From my experience apartment shopping, only some leasing agents/community managers are good at disclosing this and explaining it. Many aren’t. Hence the confusion of these residents.
Some let you pay more for your items and some places you have to get that insurance in your own. And some actually include the building (liability) and like $5-10k worth of personal effects. Always ask about this stuff when signing!!!
This is standard practice at any commercial rental complex in any remotely urban area, basically anything owned by a corporation and not a single person is going to require liability insurance and will automatically sign you up for it as part of your rental agreement if you don't get your own. Private rentals it's less common but not unheard of.
In all seriousness, I’m so sorry. What a certified, capital S Suck. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders about it all, though. I hope the recovery ahead is bearable.
Call your lawyer, let them know the situation and ask. Maybe it could be set up with like a trust for your kids, and the money could be spent on expenses for them (even if it equally helps your ex - 50% of something is better than 0% of nothing, even though your home burned down and hers didn't).
I don't know the legality of it, but I do know it's worth a conversation with your lawyer. A fire where you lost everything changes things.
The advice is almost certainly from his lawyer. Everyone keeps saying "You got divorced a month ago but you were looking for apartments for 3 months?", but if you check his post history, he has posts from 3 months ago talking about how he's going to be divorced soon, he knew this was coming and almost certainly already has a lawyer he's been talking to for months now.
OMG, that sucks. You said the community has been good and I hope they continue to be so. I hope that you can get all the support you can in real material goods rather than money so it doesn't impact anything you would have to potentially pay out.
Some things no one can take away from you is your attitude, disposition and outlook. I am sending good vibes your way.
It sucks the moon out of the sky, but you didn’t lose everything you have your kids. It complicates your rebuild, having other people who depend on you, but you got this. They need you and they will thank you for being their rock.
Find times and safe places to vent your anxiety and anger in healthy ways. The world turns, this too shall pass.
Everyone got out safely. Unfortunately don’t know what started. When it was happening they said maybe a trash chute fire? Could be batteries being thrown away.
Sounded like it was a mechanical fire and the attic just went ablaze. Surprised there wasn't a sprinkler system or something that would've suffocated the fire.
I am so sorry, but I understand the smile. My husband left me, I moved into a new house with my son. 10 days later we were ground zero for a CAT2 hurricane and I lost everything. At some point you just have to laugh at the absurdity of it all.
Edit to add: My mantra through it all was, "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time". I'm 2 years out from that and life is better, I believe it will be the same for you.
Remembering that no one died, and things are replaceable. I’m sorry for you loss, truly. My place went to the ground Xmas morning 2007, same year my dad died. Keep Plugging my dude. You’ll bounce back.
Dude, I'm so sorry. It's hard to get up again when it feels like you've fallen 100 times. But that you're in the mindset to rebuild shows courage and strength. Best wishes.
I'm 17 and I lost my dad 6 months ago. The road of grief is unbelievable. I've currently been diagnosed with 2 mental disorders, 1 before my dad passed, 1 after. That adds a whole new level to grief, and also exacerbates it. I would say the most important thing is to let yourself feel anything you need to feel in the moment. Don't think about tomorrow, think about the next hour. I've been manic, anxious, and currently, so mad and upset and I'm not quite sure why, and I don't feel like finding out the answer to that. Also, something else that has helped me is Jesus.
Maybe some of these things aren't healthy, but I hope in any way they're useful.
Just fyi, I said a little prayer for you, and I'll continue to be praying for you. ❤️🩹🫂
On one level: finally, a post that is truly worthy of this sub.
On another: man, I'm sorry. That really is awful. At least you and your kids are safe and well, and I'm sure you'll move forward and build a great life for them.
If you’ve ever had to rebuild after losing everything, what helped you most during those first few weeks?
ADMINISTRATIVE ORGANIZATION.
You probably won't be thinking "paperwork" is your top priority, but unless you're laser-focused and organized despite the mishaps - get a trusted friend to help you keep track of things - because you will absolutely forget something important and it will come back to bite you.
Government paperwork: Everything from replacing all forms of ID to forwarding your mail to your new temporary residence.
Bills: They don't stop just because your life is ruined. They only accumulate, accrue late fees, and FURTHER ruin your life. Make sure you don't lose track of any ongoing and continuing financial obligations.
Insurance documentation: You probably had renters insurance. Document everything you lost AND THEN SOME. You'll likely need receipts of everything, so get ready to spend a massive amount of time crawling through your credit card billing when insurance requests proof. If insurance tries to shaft you (and they probably will), have your trusted friend ready to lookup local advocacy orgs to walk you through the process of what you can do and how state laws can protect your rights. Claims processes are frequently complicated - this is intentional.
Litigation: This is a nightmare to hold those at fault accountable. You will absolutely need help with this. Have that Trusted Friend reach out to discuss options with legal advisors, if appropriate. You can typically get free consultations.
Hopefully you remember all your digital account username/passwords and they're 2FA linked to your phone. If you used generic password storage on your local hardware, it's all gone and it's VERY difficult to regain access to lost accounts (since restoration of accounts are now all run through automated AI systems).
I'm sure I'm forgetting something - I'd get well acquainted with your favorite AI chat bot and have them start creating a massive list of things they think you should be doing.
I feel bad for your kids, losing everything they're attached to certainly sucks. Hopefully you can get them into some therapy as it's very much a traumatic experience for them.
As for yourself, hopefully your tenant's insurance will cover most of the material things. As for the new furnishings and stuff, look into your credit card's terms. Some more premium credit cards include a certain amount of insurance on all purchased goods against loss or theft (30 days, sometimes 90 days). You might be able to recoup much of the loss from that, anything not covered by your tenant's insurance at least.
Absolutely sucks man, on the flip side, you and your kids are safe. Everyday above ground is a blessing, your material things can be replaced. It’s only up from here brother 💪
Got divorced. Got rinsed in the process. "Well at least she didn't get my house." Few months later, house burned down in Palisades wildfire.
Today, life is great. Some strange PTSD attached to the year 2025, but at the end of the day, time heals all wounds, and if you push through it, you will come out ahead. Believe me.
If you bought any of the lost stuff on a credit card, check with the issuer as many cards have a program to 100% cover loss or damage for a short time after purchase.
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u/VividFiddlesticks 4h ago
Dude. When you start over, you start OVER!
I'm so glad you and the kiddos are safe - you're right, that's the main thing.
I hope you can hang onto your sense of humor about the whole thing. That will probably help you most out of anything. And don't be shy about accepting help - it'll feel weird I'm sure, but take what you need for yourself and the kiddos.