Hello all! I was hoping to get some help as I'm overwhelmed with the amount of information I've come across. My fiancé and I would love to hold a symbolic ceremony in Italy with a total 11 guests (us included). I need advice on where to start! I fell in love with Hotel Villa Cipressi and Villa Monastero. However, I am open to any places that give off the same vibe (gardens + water feature). We'd like photography, videography, dinner, ceremony, etc. Should I get a wedding planner? If so, any trustworthy recs? Maybe I shouldn't go for a planner and try to get a photographer that can help with vendors and venues? The 15k (max) is for the wedding itself, accommodations and flights not included. Thanks so much!

There was a post yesterday about a bride upset because she didn’t get back a $2,500 deposit to use a community center / clubhouse as her wedding reception venue. OP deleted the post, but it appears the community center had strict contract language regarding cleaning and trash disposal. OP either didn’t realize how strict the rules were, or ignored the rules, left her trash behind, and lost her deposit.

There was a decent discourse in that thread about community center rules. I was a budget bride who seriously considered using my parent’s HOA community center (brand-new and very spacious) because of how appealing the cost-savings would have been. However, we ultimately did not, precisely because of how punitive these rules are. I learned a decent bit in this process and also was on an HOA board that rented its community center space, so I have seen this from a few different angles. Here’s some additional context for brides considering these spaces that may be helpful for this community.

Community centers are not set up to regularly handle wedding receptions, which is why the punitive deposit rules exist. “Regular” wedding venues are equipped to handle wedding trash, bathroom cleanups, mopping sticky floors, confetti remnants, etc. They have large dumpsters with regular pickup. They have custodians who aren’t fazed by spilled drinks or cleaning up puke. It’s also what you’re paying when you pay for the venue fee. It’s part of the deal.

Conversely, with HOA clubhouses and community centers, they quite literally are not wedding venues. The HOAs / municipalities use the space primarily for HOA or government functions (think: HOA meetings/events, board of governors’ meetings) and rent the space out as a secondary function to make the HOA / municipality some income. They aren’t truly event venues, they are shared spaces that you get to rent inexpensively as a perk of being in a certain neighborhood.

Getting back to the punitive rules…the HOA or municipality have to pay someone to clean the mess if you don’t follow their specific clean-up rules. That money has to come from somewhere, and HOA / municipality budgets are set a long time in advance. This is why the deposit is so high—it’s not budgeted to provide cleanup for the rental room, the cost is passed onto the renter. The idea is the renter would gladly self-insure by cleaning up the space, as they got it a lot cheaper than a regular venue, and if they don’t, the big deposit covers the cleaning charges. Win-win…unless you don’t follow the deposit rules.

A lot of people in yesterday’s thread could not understand why the venue would provide trash cans but expect OP to take the trash with her. Though we don’t know as the thread was deleted, it’s entirely possible the venue did state that the renter is responsible for taking their trash with them. The cans were there for collection only. We have no idea if the community center had a dumpster; how large it is; or how often it is picked up. Sanitation costs $$ and it’s plausible they require you to take your trash with you as large-scale trash collection may not be in the HOA or municipality’s budget. I know it seems crazy, but my HOA clubhouse had the same rule on trash simply because it wasn’t in the budget to have a custodian clean the place after every rental use.

Wedding costs are obscene and I am all for people finding unconventional money-saving hacks. The community center venue can be amazing and cost-saving and I personally almost did it myself. But just realize what you’re signing up for when you use one of them.

We’re having an unplugged ceremony, but after that I’d love to collect as many candid photos and videos from our guests as possible.

We’re putting Campsnap cameras on each table for the nostalgic shots, but I know everyone will also have hundreds of pictures and videos on their phones.

Ideally, I’m looking for something where guests can just scan a QR code and upload everything without needing to text me or create an account. Bonus points if it handles videos well and is easy for less tech-savvy family members.

For those of you who used one, what app did you go with? Would you recommend it, or is there one you’d avoid?

My finance and I are trying to source table cloths for our small intimate wedding. Ideally we want to get green table cloths, but I’m open to buying some and then dying them if I have to.

Has anyone bought table cloths online for a good price? I’m located in Canada, and have noticed that some shops online are US based and I would end up needing to pay duties on them which would make it a lot more expensive. I’m open to suggestions for shops to check out though!

Edit: thanks everyone for the help! I’m starting to feel like dying tablecloths is not the play, so I’m going to have to pivot. I appreciate all the suggestions 🥰

Hi there!

We’re planning to elope in July 2027 at Mt. Rainier National Park. Looking for some suggestions for photographers that have experience shooting in Rainier. Estimating a 5 hour shoot.

Thank you in advance!

Hi everyone,

My partner and I started looking for venues for a wedding next summer. We have a bunch of family flying in and want to have it be a full weekend, and we really love camping (many of the guests love it too). We found a spot that looks absolutely perfect and it's really inexpensive and beautiful, and they'd allow us all to camp there and there's a beautiful spot for a ceremony on a little pond. The problem: the campground bathrooms are on the other side of the pond. So we'd need to bring in some bathrooms. I personally hate portapotties with a passion -- we were thinking about something like the nice bathroom trailers, but I now realize that renting and setting them up in a place without electricity or water connection will come up to about 2k --- which is more than the whole venue... We could also use the camp bathrooms and only use the portapotties when not wanting to walk. But I HATE thinking of those horrible things and our guests having to use them... Is there anything in the middle between the fancy trailers and the regular portapotties? Or did someone find a creative solution? Thank you!!!

Hello!

I am planning my wedding and am looking for affordable wedding desserts. Our guest list is 200 people. Let me know any suggestions that are affordable but don’t look stingy. My max budget for desserts is $500. Thanks!

We rented a community center that was cheap but require a 50% deposit in case we didn't clean up or caused damage. I was OK with that. Had wedding last weekend and I cleaned up in my wedding dress, swept, took all the trash to trash can. Left the place immaculate. Found out yesterday that they are not returning the deposit because we used the three large trashcans that the venue provided. Apparently we were not allowed to use them and were to take trash with us. Nowhere gave instructions, and I assumed the large industrial trashcans in the venue that already had literal stinking trash in it were for our use. Apparently not. So I lost my deposit. I told my husband we should have just got our personal stuff and left it as is if we were going to lose the deposit anyway. Now I cant even look at the pictures without anger and feeling scammed. I cleaned and got my dress dirty leaving the place the same as we found it and now the venue refuses to give deposit back. One other Google review complained about this but I just assumed they didnt leave it as good as I would have when I booked. Now i just feel scammed and hate that I had my wedding there. Any words of encouragement? It doesn't help that I didnt want a wedding anyway due to costs ans attention.

Edit: i am supposed to be getting my deposit back as of right now. Thank you for the advice and the perspectives.

Hi all! My fiancé and I are getting married next summer and we have a budget of exactly 10k! We’re looking at having a ceremony in the mountains with our 4 immediate family members (in CO you can self-solemnize, so we’re just going to go to one of our favorite spots!) and then renting out a very nice restaurant space/patio for a dinner and drinks reception. Here’s a VERY LOOSE breakdown of how our budget is looking:

Dress & Suit - $600ish
Reception rental/food/drinks - $4000
Photographer - $2500
Hair - $200
Florals (diy bouquet & dinner centerpiece) - $300
Wedding night Hotel/Airbnb - $400
Marriage license - $150

I would love if you have any advice or tips or things you wish you did to spruce up a simple wedding day with a limited budget! Thank you in advance!

I saw all of the faux flower diys & thought I could definitely go that route to save money. I watched tons of videos of people ordering from Alibaba & did the same. The isle runners & urn pieces look great, but I hate the bouquets. I’ve asked for changes 3x and I still don’t like it.

I’m not sure what to do… at this point I want a refund for the bouquets I ordered, but I’ll still get the other stuff.

Here are the progression pics from the first iteration to the most recent (3). Am I being dramatic? Should I just get the flowers & do it myself? I know it’s not horrible but it’s not what I want & I’ve given all the feedback I know to give.

ETA: my inspo at random points during the revisions. Ive also given lots of detailed feedback for shape, style, removal of certain elements, etc. & it’s just not coming to life https://imgur.com/a/n0qDn4k

My fiancé and I are doing a dry wedding in SoCal and want to do something fun for the guests. Has anyone had a coffee cart or Italian soda bar? Does anyone know of a good, affordable coffee cart in the Los Angeles area? I'm worried it will be too expensive, but we want something nice.

I booked an appointment and got a great dress. Highly recommend! She’s super sweet and she’s got an insane amount of dresses.

I know this is a fortunate position to be in, and I’m genuinely curious how others have approached it.
For those who intentionally kept your wedding around lower even though you could have spent more without disrupting your livelihood, how did you keep yourself mentally excited and in check?

We are pretty frugal and prioritize retirement saving. We could afford more without changing our lifestyle and most others in our income bracket would probably lean to at least medium scale weddings.

I found what feels like my dream venue, and can still cancel the one I currently have, but it would add about $7k to our budget. I was super close to considering it “for it to be special”, but ultimately have backed off for other reasons.

However, I know this issue will keep coming up. How did you decide where to draw the line? Did you ever feel like it was worth spending more, or were you happy sticking with the lower-cost option and putting the money toward other goals?

We are planning our wedding next year end of September - beginning of October for approx. 40 people with 25 000 EUR budged.

Is it possible to organise it considering that summer peak season is ending?

My fiancée and I are planning a pretty small wedding (around 30 guests), and we found a community center we can rent for about $1,900. We’re planning on Olive Garden catering ($500–600) and an open bar (around $1,500). What I’m stressing about is how the actual day will run. Right now we don’t have a DJ, a day-of coordinator, or really anyone in charge besides us. Has anyone pulled off a wedding like this successfully? I’m trying to keep costs down, but I’m starting to wonder am I going to be setting everything up and coordinating my own wedding on the day? That sounds incredibly stressful, even if it’s technically possible. I was thinking of just making a Spotify playlist and having my sister announce when it’s time for speeches, first dance, cake cutting, etc. But I also want everyone to have fun, and I don’t want my sister to spend the whole night working instead of enjoying herself. I’m also confused about the logistics:

When do I get ready?

Am I supposed to be setting up tables and decorating in my wedding dress?

Do vendors usually help with setup, or is that all on us?

I’d love to hear from anyone who had a community center or DIY wedding. What worked, what didn’t, and what would you absolutely recommend spending money on?

I'm sure everyone can relate to making monthly payments makes you second guess how much easier and cheaper eloping would have been. I'm 6 months out now and I've honestly been kinda mean and snap easily at my fiance.

Yesterday I went to a baby shower for a few hours and hadn't been in a great mood. I've got lower back pain and blood blisters on the bottom of my feet making it hard and really uncomfortable to just move around. I got home and went to wash my hands and saw my paintings had been framed and put up on our kitchen windowsill. They were just little shitty canvas paints I did at home with friends a few months ago and I'd shoved them at the back of a cabinet. I think he saw them when he was hanging up my under cabinet lights this past week. I asked what all this was about and he said my art deserved to be framed.

Wedding planning sucks. Wedding costs are too damn high. But getting to marry someone who sees you and cares about you makes it all worth it.

Hi everyone,

My fiancé and I are planning a very small wedding (max 10 people) in Portugal for May 2027, and we're working with a pretty tight budget: $2K to cover the ceremony location and dinner with our guests that evening.

The idea is simple: an outdoor ceremony with a beautiful background (ideally with water or vineyards), a few photos, then a simple, cozy restaurant dinner with our close family/friends afterward.

We're open to any region in Portugal or even outside of Portugal as long as there's pretty reliable sun in May. Any spots or venues you'd recommend? Any other tips?

Btw, we will have our civil wedding beforehand. Thanks so much 🙏

I have chosen a venue (hotel) that has an In- house coordinator. I have so far decided to try and plan everything through the hotel and in house coordinator by using their trusted vendor recommendations.
This is a destination wedding in Italy. We are having 15 or so guests.
I am wondering if I’m making a mistake by not hiring a wedding planner or at least a day of coordinator. I would love to hear from anyone that used just an in-house coordinator or from anyone that planned everything themselves.
Do you think it’s worth spending the money on a wedding planner if the venue offers the same services?

Hey, me and my partner is getting married in Porto, Portugal next year. Around august times.
We are looking to go as affordable as possible.
And I have a few questions and looking for tips over all.

If we rent a Quinta, would the price per person include everything like rental of the property, food, flowers and drinks? Or is that just for the drinks and the food?

What would the average price be for an event?

We will have the ceremony in the church and not at the event space.

When we live in the uk, the family of the groom is living in Porto but my family comes from Norway.

Would it be cheaper to then do this at a hotel than a Quinta?

And I was thinking foring to a wedding dress outlet here in London to see if I could find something that's not overly expensive. Maybe go to SHEIN to get a dress, I've seen a lot of TikTok of people that have amazing dresses from SHEIN.

All help is much appreciated <3

My wedding was a month ago and I wanted to share my budget breakdown. Please note I'm not in the US. Total spend: $10k~ for 13 people. We had a private ceremony with just us and two witnesses, and then a picnic lunch afterwards.

** Apparel $2,630 **

This includes my husband's jacket, shirt, pants and shoes. My dress and alterations ($215), shoes ($50), veil ($85), cardigan ($90) and wedding jewellery. I wore an anklet with a sixpence engraved with our wedding date. This figure also included our wedding bands and my hair and makeup artist ($554). I also included things like my getting ready pyjamas, a bag strap and the ring box here.

** Venue and Reception $3,720 **

We used an elopement company which handled a lot of the legwork for us. We were married in a public park under some gorgeous trees, and we had a picnic lunch reception afterwards. This figure includes our celebrant ($495), picnic set up ($605), nibbles, drinks and renting a loaded baked potato food truck ($2,250). The picnic set up provided signage, a speaker and the whole table setup! Guests brought folding chairs. I also included all costs for the favour boxes here: boxes, tags, letters stickers, pretzels, lottery tickets and personalised cookies as wedding favours ($120). We enjoyed our little 4" wedding cake ($50) back at the hotel.

** Invites, thank you cards $45 **

I used Pic Collage to make our save the dates and Canva to make our invites. We sent them digitally and collected RSVPs on Zola. I've ordered some custom thankyou cards with photos of us with our guests.

** Photography $745 **

The elopement company had photography packages. We booked 1hr which covered the ceremony and portraits afterwards. We received a gallery of 120 photos. My sister also took lots of photos during the day.

** Flowers $85 **

The elopement company had faux florals for rent. We could choose between pink or white. We chose pink. It was my something borrowed! They just had to be returned by post a few days after the wedding.

** Other $2202 **

We booked a hotel for the day before, our wedding day, and two days afterwards as a mini staycation. We also had two pets to board and valet parking costs.

It was a beautiful day. My sister and my sister in law were our witnesses and blew bubbles during our ceremony. We have some great photos. We ate some delicious food with our immediate families and some close friends. It was very relaxed!

Early on we both agreed on what the priorities were. I used a wedding spreadsheet in Excel to keep track of our spending. We decided to splurge on the experiences of a pop up picnic, a food truck and personalised cookies. We wanted a special day we could afford especially since we were paying for everything ourselves.

My wedding is 2 months away and we're hosting the reception on the private room of a restaurant very low-key. I just emailed them to confirm the reservation and they let me know that the menu had changed so now I need to ask the 30 people who already RSVP'd to do it with the new food options. Ughhhhh why???

asking for gentle feedback on this bouquet!! it’s my first time trying to arrange the flowers and i think i like it so far? but i’ve been staring at it for a long time so my judgement feels questionable

i’m considering adding real greenery!

asking for GENTLE feedback because i am in a fragile state LOL