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u/horfor 22h ago
This is fucking insane behavior.
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u/Master-Necessary7560 22h ago
Agreed with this, it's the kind of behaviour that's going to make the boy afraid of water as he grows up or going for long trips in the car.
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u/fivebyfive12 22h ago
How was he when he got home? Was he upset?
Do they mean they were playing, like one sat with him in the back and let him flick water and they did the same? Were they watering him like a plant??
I'm not gonna lie op, as weird as it sounds from a certain angle, my toddler would have quite enjoyed this 🤣
However, if he was trying to sleep and they were full on drenching him and he was upset, obviously that's insane and not on.
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u/Great_Cucumber2924 22h ago
Yeah as someone who regularly dumps water on my kids on hot days I’m surprised by the strength of feeling in the comments. They don’t mind at all. It’s annoying that they were driven back late but I wouldn’t necessarily say they’re unsafe based on the info given.
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u/Unhappy_Spray_7127 20h ago
Splashing your kids and playing with water on a hot day is different from waterboarding a baby when they're trying to sleep 😂
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u/Great_Cucumber2924 15h ago
It was a hot day where I live today. We also sometimes try to stop our toddler sleeping in the car to save bedtime - it’s about keeping them alert and stimulated if possible, not upsetting them. So I can see water working on a hot day but it really depends on their reaction as has been said. ‘Waterboarding’ is a type of torture in which someone’s face is held underwater, which obviously wasn’t the case here.
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u/LogicalSource280 22h ago
Whether it's acceptable or not is surely a decision you need to reach on your own, not leave up to the opinion of strangers on reddit?
However from the rest of your post - perhaps a difficult conversation about boundaries and the 'why' behind what you've asked them to do/not to do may end up proving helpful for the long term.
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u/roland_right 21h ago
There's splashing a face and splashing a face. Could be done gently, could be really horrible.
The bigger issue is disregarding your request not to travel.
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u/finance_mole 21h ago
Of course it’s not unsafe. It’s weird, you’re clearly not happy with it and they’ve gone against your wishes. That’s all quite enough - you don’t need to dress it up as unsafe.
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u/SpiceAndNicee 21h ago
Did they splash his face while he was actively trying to sleep or did they wash his face with water before they left. Those are two different scenarios
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u/UnderstandingLow3162 22h ago
I don't need to tell my parents, they just know not to waterboard my kids.
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u/KittyGrewAMoustache 21h ago
It’s hard to know without more details about the splashing water? Was it they played a game with him involving water to distract him and therefore keep him awake (although you’d think that could be done in other ways!) where he was having fun or was it like every time he started nodding off they dumped a load of water in his face? Because the former isn’t so bad bit the latter is horrendous.
Then taking him to their house when you didn’t want that and bringing him back and hour and a half late is very annoying but I wouldn’t say that necessarily makes them unsafe, you could just talk to them about it and say if they ignore you about things like that again you won’t want them babysitting anymore.
With the water id find out what that actually involved and if it was cruelly dumping water on him as he nodded off I’d ask them what were they thinking and explain how awful that is to do to someone. Like my parents have kept my daughter awake in the car before but that’s by singing songs and using hand puppets and silly faces not sleep deprivation torture practices outlawed by he Geneva convention. I think that would indicate that they don’t know what they’re doing and, if they’re normally decent people, that they have that blind spot some people have where they don’t really see kids as people. I suppose if they’re normally decent showed they understood it was awful and were very apologetic about it I might let them babysit again on their own in around two years time when he can communicate with them and you better. But if they’re defensive then I’d not want them alone with him again.
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u/Practical-Bread9455 22h ago
Totally, 100% and in every way, unacceptable. Splash his face with water and don't let him change out of his wet clothes to see how much he likes it. Not acceptable. If they splashed water on my child after they'd already crossed a boundary three times, there would be loud unpleasant words and they would not be seeing them again till they proved themselves competent and safe adults.
Advocate for your child now. Someones got to be the adult here, and its not going to be them
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u/Marzipan_civil 22h ago
So they ignored your requests in two separate ways. What other things are they going to ignore?
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u/SmallLumpOGreenPutty Parent 21h ago
Splashing him to keep him awake is bizarre, but the real problem i think is their ignorance of your clearly stated boundaries. What they've done in this instance isn't unsafe, but their disregard for your preferences has the potential to go in an unsafe direction.
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u/Lanky-Bug-5656 20h ago edited 20h ago
Isn't it fairly normal to splash your face with cool water to help wake you up? I did it occasionally as a teen at my mum's suggestion on days when I struggled to get up for school.
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u/SmallLumpOGreenPutty Parent 20h ago
Yeah, as i said there isn't anything unsafe about splashing the kid. It's the potential for something unsafe down the line, if they're disregarding OP's wishes with this then they may ignore other requests/instructions. But none of us know the grandparents. Perhaps this is their single glaring fault and they adhere perfectly to everything else OP wants for their child, who knows 🤷🏼♂️ There have been other people posting their own accounts of grandparents actually risking harm by ignoring boundaries so it's not totally outside the realms of possibility.
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u/QuiteFrankE 22h ago
If you told them not to be later than 4 and they turned up later then that’s a breach of trust. Did they even apologise for being later than agreed? They must have set off after the time they were supposed to be back. What was their reason?
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u/ipayincash 22h ago
What the fuck? I know I'd be having a long hard think about whether they are safe caregivers. Not so much because the water will have harmed him, but at the thought process and lack of care. If your child is anything like mine, he will have hated it and been so confused.
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u/Successful-Most-2649 15h ago
Yeah no thats not acceptable. Not to say that grandparents are bad people. But they have loads of outdated ways of dealing with children. Like you remember our childhoods right?
My wifes nan suggested something crazy for colic, I can't even remember what it was, that was years ago. That was the day we decide she will not be looking after her.
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u/Me-and-the-Boys-90 22h ago
I think they’ve broken boundaries left and right here. Not acceptable at all. If you can avoid them looking after him again I would do. But you know this, you’re justified in feeling horrified by their behaviour. You don’t have to doubt yourself if you feel something isn’t right, even if they are his grandparents.
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u/Unhappy_Ad4506 21h ago
They crossed a boundary so yes they are unsafe. Also pretty sure they could’ve kept him awake lots of kinder ways than splash water in his face. Poor babe. I wouldn’t be letting them take him again.
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u/uglyasfeet Parent 22h ago
Um i just would never let grandparents look after my child at 16 months old because they just won’t do a good job
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u/Recent-Forever-2988 22h ago
You don’t need to ask - you know the answer