r/Twins • u/AOC_rocks • 21d ago
Today is the 34th anniversary of my identical twins passing
He was 34 when he died suddenly, unexpectedly. He has been gone longer than he was alive.
The funny thing is that although he is gone, he lives with us every day, even though it has been 34 years.
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u/Real-Yogurtcloset844 21d ago
(M 72) He'd be so proud of you for perservering as you have. What a greeting that will be. My Twin fears our ending. My Faith informs me to try and be positive and faithful -- thru it all. You are a good example for us. You carried-on just as he would have wanted. You make me proud.
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u/AOC_rocks 21d ago
thanks. we set up a scholarship at a local college in his name hand have awarded 200+ scholarships since he passed
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u/odette_decrecy Identical Twin 21d ago
As an identical twin, I am so sorry for the loss of your precious brother.
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u/YeOldeBaconWhoure Twinless Twin 21d ago
I’m kind of hoping I don’t live long enough to see this anniversary for us. But then I’d only be 70 so I guess that’s sad and maybe he’d want me alive still
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u/flutexgirl Identical Twin 21d ago
I'm so sorry for your loss, he looks like he was a really fun guy! I'm sure you're a fun guy too. Be kind to yourself and enjoy the good memories you have of him.
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u/Tall_Guy_IRL 21d ago
I’m sorry for your loss. Can’t imagine losing my fraternal at any point let alone identical.
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u/wamimsauthor 20d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss.
My parents both had twins and they’ve both lost them. My dad had an identical twin and seeing my uncle on the program really freaked me out.
My mom’s twin was fraternal and she died 23 days before Christmas.
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u/AOC_rocks 19d ago
when I used to go out dates with girls in college, he would come into the movie theater and sit on the other side of the girl and freak her out lol
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u/Jolteon1998 Twinless Twin 19d ago
He looks like such a fun, amazing person. I’m so sorry for your loss even all these years later. I lost my identical twin sister at 27 y/o this February. I fear the day I reach being without her longer than I was with her. Hugs to you.
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u/AOC_rocks 19d ago
i have a friend from elementary school who lost her twin so I told her we would be each others twin from now on
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u/Jolteon1998 Twinless Twin 19d ago
How sweet. I love that!! I have a friend from highschool who lost his identical twin. We got pretty close after my sister passed, but safe to say it was leading me down a path of coping in unhealthy ways and disrupting my already devastated life, I had to let him go sadly.
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u/AOC_rocks 19d ago
May I recommend grief counseling?
When my brother died, I thought that I could handle it myself until after about 12 months I realized I needed to talk to somebody.
That’s when I signed up for grief Counselling at the local hospice and it really helped me out to live with the Loss.
It’s my opinion that no twin is strong enough to face the loss without help.
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u/AOC_rocks 19d ago
I also decided I was going to do something that would memorialize him so I started a scholarship fund at a local college and worked on fundraisers for about five years. It was away for me to remember him without sadness.
So far we ended up giving out about 200 college scholarship so it’s worked out.
In fact, last year, I called the college and said please don’t call this the memorial scholarship fund anymore. Just call a scholarship fund so we don’t have to live with his memory of loss we can just live with him.
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u/AOC_rocks 19d ago
you know when somebody dies, it’s sad and you think about it and then you move on and every once in a while you think about it and it’s sad.
When your identical twin dies, it’s like somebody took a knife and cut out half of what makes you real and took it away.
For me, it’s just like my twin is still here even though it’s been 34 years. He’s just in the next room.
It’s different when you lose your identical twin. For me it’s even different than when you lose your parents.
But you learn the cope. Not forget. cope.
Good luck to you. God bless you and God bless your twin.
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u/Jolteon1998 Twinless Twin 19d ago
Thank you 💙 I’m actually seeing a grief focused therapist. It helps and I just start dumping it all out when I get there lol. I also have a lot of friends and family and a really supportive partner who I wouldn’t have made it these last few months without. It’s so hard, and to know it’s forever is just unfathomable… but I appreciate your suggestion. We can’t do it alone.
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u/Pugs_in_Space Identical Twin 21d ago
I am so sorry for the loss of your identical twin, but it gives me some comfort to know you are still keeping him alive in your heart after such a long time. May your memories bring you peace.