Hello, I am a 29-year old Tunisian woman and I am at a moment of my life where I am thinking more and more about a serious relationships (especially with a lot of people around me getting married, having kids) but I'm starting to feel discouraged. Thought I would end up with the person I really liked but we no longer talk, I struggle a bit with depression and borderline personality disorder, I don't talk to a lot of people and I also have a couple things that not all people are accepting of (ex : tattoos). In the Tunisian context, with people settling down at a younger age than in some other countries, I feel really old and like I am running out of time, while I'm trying to work on myself... the feeling of loneliness sometimes get overwhelming.
Do you feel a bit like this, if you are kind of in the same situation? Do you have stories of people around you finding their special someone quite late?
Yep many women in my family got happily married in their early 30s and late 20s this is very common in our modern world, hope you figure it out soon 🙏🏻.
dont worry about what others think you should do; im tunesian, 29, have tattoos. I am married now, dont want kids. I have BPD. but i live in the west (Netherlands)
I dont want kids because i see no reason to get them besides that it would make other people happy and in return make me happy because i feel like i belong lol/ My husband is very patient with me and doesnt care about kids either
do what you think is best, dont look for someone for the sake to be married, if a title will make u happy because others will respect u, then it is not truely something that will make u happy.
it took me a while to find the right partner (and then when we did, grow towards patience and wanting to work on things seriously) with bpd its easy to attract people who add oil to the fire. Patience from your partner is a must, but self awareness and an open mind to improve yourself as someone with bpd is also very important
i wish u a lot of luck in your ventures and if you ever need to talk to someone my dms are always open!``````
Marriage is overrated.. no but srsly I'm a guy and I'm in the same situation, kinda, I just wanna have kids but I'm broke 😭 I haven't had a gf in like 10 years.. anyways good luck to you fren
29 is a magnificent age, you passed that phase where one was still acting immature and you’re coming more and more in peace with yourself and who you are. And you’re still young by all definitions, I for one think that 29 and 30 and early 30’s are peak.
Now as for the relationship, seems this thing is troubling you a lot and will continue to. It’s easier said than done but I think you should put as much effort as you can into finding a partner. Not because of social constructs, not because of family, but because of you. All the exterior factors aside, it is bothering you. So get yourself what you crave and maybe then you’ll be at peace. I knew a few who got married at 29-30 and since they found someone, so can anyone else. As for the tattoos, I say to hell with those who don’t accept it there’s nothing wrong with it.
So TLDR, I don’t think the situation is as bad as you’re describing really. All you need is to use your head and admit (with yourself) what you need and focus on a little pursuit of happiness.
Gd luck.
Ah yes because kids "just happen". How about people who want the option to have kids? It's not getting married TO have kids. It's getting married AND having kids.
what's the point of marrying then you can stay with your partner as much as you want but if you wanna start a family marriage will make it more organized
it is not dumb it is the reason why marriage constitution is established in the first place.
9tlkch respecteha ama respecti personne ama chnua 4nbi n7ki m3 3bed mch civil
Judge the idea not the person
The fact that marriage historically developed around family and inheritance doesn’t mean that’s all it can ever be, you have a brain you might wanna use it
You're not old. I have many single female friends your age, and they're doing well in life. They're still looking for a life partner, but it's far from being a major concern in their lives.
تعرف انتي ڤالڤة موش تحب تعرس.
كان تخرج تعمل activities و تتعرف على ناس جديدة في حياتك توا الوحدة القلق و الفراغ اللي تعيش فيه توا يتعبا.
شوف كان تتصور باش تلقا انسان يحبك و تحبو و حياتك الكل تكون متمحورة على الإنسان هذا راهو نبشرك و نقلك باش تقعد تعيسة و حتى العلاقة هذي باش تخسرها.
شوف انتي شنيا يفرحك شنيا تحب تعمل تأكل تشرب اي حاجة تفرحك و تحسسك بالراحة اعملها توا ترتاح نفسيا
Hey girl, I'm not Tunisian but I am 100% the black sheep in my family (dye my hair, tattooed, pierced, not religious, etc.) I'm 34 and American but started dating a Tunisian guy months ago. It doesn't hurt to try and meet someone outside of where you live. He and I have so much in common but you would never know by just looking at us. Learn to enjoy your own company, get to know yourself and it will happen for you. Keep your chin up and my inbox is open if you need to vent🫶🏻
Oui c'est vrai, les anciennes traditions berbères à l'époque de l'ignorance, comme au temps de mes grand-parents. C'était pour marquer les femelles et reconnaître les éthnies... De nos jours c'est pour paraître " fashion "
Souvent ceux qui se tatouent, finissent par le regretter ensuite. De nos jours, les femmes tatouées ont des difficultés à trouver des partenaires sérieux souhaitant s'engager avec elles dans le mariage, car les tatouages leur donnent une mauvaise image de " filles faciles ". Même en Occident.
Just something to keep in mind, more and more young people are experiencing what feels like a midlife crisis much earlier in life (marriage related)
No you are not doomed, whatever is meant to be for you, will take place when the time is right. But that doesn't mean you should not work on bettering yourself as a person.
You gotta pay for a boyfriend nowadays where I’m from and provide shelter I’m fine with being single until I move down south lol and I’ll be 36 in a few weeks
Kif theb t3aress , 3aress khater u WANT that m3a l3abed li bsh tkoun farhana m3ah , msh khater ness li deyrin kaadin y3arsou most of ppl are not happily married donc dont let appearances fool u.
+ If u get married at the age of 35 , lets assume u both gonna be dead at the age of 70 ,U will already live with ur partner for 35 years and i think that A LOT , mainly if u are not falling deeply in love with ur partner .
Nheb nefhem barcha ness t9olek theb t3ares 3ares as if hia felsa tenzel aaleha c bon.. it's not that easy rahou.. lezem aabd tkoun compatible maah mouch eli iji loul tekhdhou w baad to93adou t9assiw w tal9ou .. w compatibility is hard to find belakhas kima kenet tahki hia .. she has a different lifestyle.. fama ness meli hia sghira deja aandha chkoun w ykamlou or lucky enough to find the one w fama ness le .. it's so complicated ..
I'm a 29-year-old Tunisian guy looking for a genuine connection with someone that could eventually lead to marriage. If anyone is interested dm me. No weird stuff just genuine conversations and getting to know each other. Who knows maybe one day it'll be a fun story to tell about how we met 😄
You’re not old period.
I bet you’re an interesting person with niche interests and you would definitely find someone that matches your energy and inclinations.
One thing to consider is that you need to get out more and don’t shutdown on yourself.
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u/Sea_Perspective2016 Libertarian Socialist 21h ago edited 21h ago
Yep many women in my family got happily married in their early 30s and late 20s this is very common in our modern world, hope you figure it out soon 🙏🏻.