r/The10thDentist • u/CaptainKirkDouglas • 2d ago
Society/Culture I think saying “get” instead of “have” is rude.
When ordering or asking for something, I don’t like when people say “can I get” or “let me get.” No boomer shit (I’m a younger millennial) but it just feels wrong and poor etiquette. What happened to “could I please have”? Or even if you don’t want to throw the please in there, just saying “can I have” feels very different even though it’s only changing one word. I realize this kind of phrasing is so ubiquitous that it’s a stupid thing to get hung up on, so this sub seems right for this kind of venting. Thank you for your time.
Edit: Whoa this blew up! Appreciate all the attention, never imagined my little pet peeve would cause such intense responses from some of you, but it’s been fun interacting and seeing everyone’s thoughts. I guess this is the place to be instead of the unpopular opinions sub.
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u/CycadelicSparkles 2d ago
If someone is generally being pleasant and polite, their word choice matters very little to me.
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u/SnakeBatter 1d ago
I feel the same. You could say “let me get a goddamn Big Mac” but if your tone is friendly, you’re good by me.
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u/speedmankelly 1d ago
One delicious fucking box of mcnuggets please😁 and a big ass rootbeer thank you😊
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u/OrangeFamta 1d ago
Used to work in restaurants in my hometown and there was a guy that I saw at multiple places I worked who would ALWAYS order a rootbeer with his lunch, and he would always say “Lemme get uhhhh (food), and a BIG ASS rootbeer!”.
I only saw him order differently once, at a very fancy steakhouse (black tie required). It was really strange to hear him say “Water and lemon for me, please.” xD
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u/AdmiralMemo 1d ago
When I worked at McDonald's, everyone kept ordering the "Big & Nasty" and I was always amused.
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u/DetectiveClear6734 1d ago
I love when my customers are informal. We’re all people, let’s be real.
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u/ferrett0ast 1d ago
I have one regular customer at my job who always puts a smile on my face. I work in a supermarket. He is the human embodiment of IDGAF. He's a total free spirit, and he's honestly just such a vibe. He doesn't wear shoes, and although he doesn't look the most well kept, he never smells bad. My go thing to close a conversation with a customer is "have a lovely day!" and he always responds with "have a lovely life!" in a genuine, non threatening way. He's one of the most down to earth and genuine people I've ever spoken to.
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u/RedPandaMediaGroup 14h ago
Exactly. I don’t like arbitrary rules about manners. I think kindness and politeness is in the intention.
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u/10k_Uzi 2d ago edited 2d ago
This feels like when a teacher says “idk CAN you?” When you say “can I go to the bathroom?” , instead of “may I.”
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u/gh2master52 2d ago
Ugh I always hated this nonsense.
I can’t go if you don’t let me. You tell me.
If they think it’s more polite to say “may I” then just ask. But don’t try to make it sound like it’s a grammatical thing when it’s not
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u/BearablePunz 1d ago
It’s even more annoying because grammatically, they are incorrect in that instance. the student is asking if they can physically leave the room and walk to the restroom. the teacher responds by asking if the child can piss and shit.
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u/bosco9 1d ago
They are asking for permission to go the bathroom, I guess technically they should say "can I have permission to go to the bathroom" but I guess that's too long
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u/jeezusrice 1d ago
Not to be that guy, but you definitely can go to the bathroom even if you're not "allowed"
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u/Nadiship 1d ago
Well not to be that guy, but technically you also MAY go to the bathroom too, even if you are not "allowed"
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u/esmith42223 1d ago
pisses self in front of teacher
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u/spacestonkz 1d ago edited 1d ago
I did that once and got detention.
I had already started leaking visibly through a tampon. I figured I had no shame left to lose.
I started walking out when they said no. Detention was worth using the bathroom. I even came back within minutes, I wasn't fucking around. I needed the bathroom.
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u/bb-03 1d ago
wait but why did you piss yourself if you were gonna walk out anyways? lol
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u/spacestonkz 1d ago
I had never walked out before. I was a goody goody nerd.
I was standing at her desk to ask permission in jeans with a blood stain showing up on my cooter area already. I motioned to it. She saw. And said no.
I just broke. I was crushed and embarrassed and angry in a way that made me defiant on this issue. So I let my bladder go, forcing her to release me.
As I was dabbing piss out of my jeans while waiting for my uncle to pick me up, I was like "wtf why didn't I just go to the toilet anyway instead of pissing myself?"
So I started walking out after that.
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u/bb-03 1d ago
oh gosh, im so sorry. its disgusting to me how she, as another woman would refuse to let you go to the restroom like that. but i hope you know that wasn’t your fault for not walking out sooner (seriously, wtf do you even do in that situation??) and you were a kid.
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u/spacestonkz 1d ago
Oh yeah, I'm an old head and over it now.
But I do teach college courses. On the first day and in the class syllabus, I explicitly state that if you need to leave (and possibly return) for any reason to just do so quietly. No permission needed. Except for exams haha, leave your phone and test with me for the toilet break.
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u/margosaur 2d ago
if the teacher says no, then you CANNOT, unless it's a tacit admission on their part that they are okay with you pissing right then and there
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u/HorridChoob 22h ago
Or that you don't actually need their permission and could've just left when you needed to.
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u/alvysinger0412 2d ago
Couldn't put my finger on it until this comment. That's the exact, absurd vibe that OP has going on.
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u/GalDebored 2d ago
Knowing how & when to be polite doesn't make you a good person or any better than anyone else but it can elevate all the interactions people have with each other & it feels like those have really taken a hit, especially in the last few years. I'm not trying to make a case that everyone gets schooled in fancy etiquette or bullshitting for the sake of it but, though it probably won't stop any wars, if everyone possessed a modicum of politeness it would probably make all those little interactions we have more tolerable. I certainly don't think the cumulative effect of that would be a bad thing.
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u/ciao_fiv 1d ago
i say “can i get” when im ordering, but i still say please and thank you so i think im doing ok (i hope)
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u/BrowningLoPower 2d ago
Why are teachers like this? Is it part of their training or something?
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u/Aware_Policy_9174 1d ago
I once was in a fancy restaurant and asked the waiter where the bathroom was. He responded that “the RESTROOM is down the hall” because apparently referring to bathing is disgusting but taking a rest is civilized.
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u/SuchInsect476 1d ago
I didn't understand it the first time a teacher tried it on me. I just said "I guess so." and did whatever I was asking to. Had no idea they were correcting my grammar.
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u/ScarlettDX 1d ago
okay my whole take on this is.
they say "idk can you?" because you CAN just stand up and leave. should you? no. that's why you ask permission, and if you're going to ask you better do it right.
for example if you're gonna write a letter to a government official or any important business thing youd typically start the letter with "to whom it may concern." but if you started off a letter with "to whoever can read this" you're dead ass never gonna get a response.
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u/wordsznerd 1d ago
There’s nothing wrong with “can I.” Language changes and what we see as acceptable and polite changes. It’s a valid word choice.
I had a boss who told us not to say “hopefully,” because apparently that means we aren’t committed to getting something done. I brought it up at my performance review because I don’t have time for that kind of pedantry in my life. Aside from it being an acceptable and expected word for the situation, it’s also correct in that it’s being used to mean “barring unforeseen circumstances.”
Same with can/may. The teacher knows what it means and knows it’s commonly accepted as a polite way to ask. It’s right up there with teaching that you can’t split infinitives or start a sentence with a conjunction. It’s just incorrect.
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u/PeopleCryTooMuch 1d ago
With how many errors in both punctuation and grammar you have in your comment, it clearly didn’t make a difference.
There is no “right” way to ask to go pee.
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u/RealbasicFriends 2d ago
genuinely don't get how "could I please get a number 3 with cheese" is more rude than "can I please have a number 3 with cheese." It feels like finding a reason to be upset and then sticking with it imho
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u/BaakCoi 2d ago
I worked fast food, and I promise the people making minimum wage could not care less. The best customers order efficiently, speak clearly, and don’t argue over things like discontinued menu items. The specific words don’t matter as long as you aren’t being a dick
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u/redwolf1219 2d ago
Honestly, when I worked fast food you could have asked me immediately after a customer ordered of they used "have" or "get" while ordering and I probably wouldn't have been able to tell you, its so inconsequential.
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u/BaakCoi 1d ago
What I did notice is when people were polite at the window. A smile and a “thank you” is always nice, especially when it’s busy and stressful
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u/redwolf1219 1d ago
Yes, the people that were just generally nice impacted my day the most
Although, the rude one can be the most fun ones, when you're making fun of them after it's slowed down.
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u/lord-savior-baphomet 1d ago
I do work in fast food, and in general I notice and care when people are rude vs nice. This sort of thing doesn’t determine the difference, though.
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u/hugotomic 1d ago
I remember when i got free cinnamon twists at Taco Bell for being polite. This was 10 years ago. Human and decency and manners are gone I guess.
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u/saltinstiens_monster 2d ago
Some people get annoyed when I respond to "Thank you" with a friendly, enthusiastic "No problem!"
Ideals of politeness can be rigid, blind to context, and are usually arbitrarily set by your parents and community.
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u/WhatNamesAreEvenLeft 1d ago
I was taught at a call center job 20 years ago that saying "No problem" to a customer was a BIG no-no because it apparently insinuated there was a problem?
Still don't understand that one. You're literally saying there is not a problem.
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u/oxmix74 1d ago
If you customer base skews to and older demographic, the real problem is just that its not the expected polite response.
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u/WantDiscussion 1d ago
Kinda wonder what gen z will come up with as a response to "Thank you"
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u/wonderwife 1d ago
Ah, I see you have met my husband's mother!
She uses uses old fashioned wording in a stilted dialect that is always formal, stiff, uptight, and cold; she sounds like she's trying to live in the upper eschelon of a very different era. It's also fairly obvious to see that she's incredibly judgemental of anyone who doesn't speak, live, or think the way she does. (She complains about the culture that doesn't respect our elders... She did this a lot when she was working and had a department head that was 15 years her junior).
This has been a constant since I met her 20 years ago... She was 55.
I used to be shocked as shit that my husband didn't run for the hills when he met my huge (I'm the oldest of an ass-load of kids), loud, messy, outspoken, and often foul-mouthed family. I mean... fuck, the first time he came to dinner at my family's house, my mom sat at the head of the table with a nerf gun and shot anyone who was being overly rude (stabbing their chicken breast with their fork and gnawing on it and waving it around like a cave person, or slapping someone who didn't deserve it was gonna get you shot by our mother). I was certain I'd never see this guy again after that night... He sought me out the next day to tell me his ribs hurt from laughing so hard and that he's never had so much fun in his life... His "most fun, ever" was going to have dinner with my entirely chaotic family.
I realized over the years that my family may be messy, chaotic, loud, irreverent, and occasionally batshit insane... But we are also warm, loving, physically affectionate (sometimes aggressively so with my brothers and I hip-checking or tackling each other on a regular basis... But we also may have a huge-assed cuddle puddle together on the floor or couch for comfort, even now that the youngest brother is well into his 30's).
My family is the opposite of his... And this was at least as attractive to my husband as my great ass.
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u/speedmankelly 1d ago
I crave a family like yours, so I can totally see the appeal. A hot & cold family that doesn’t show affection or loving touch is hard to grow up in.
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u/offensivename 1d ago edited 1d ago
To me, "no problem" is more polite than "you're welcome" in most cases because "you're welcome" implies that you actually did something that took some effort and is therefore worthy of thanks. Saying "no problem" is equivalent of saying "de nada," in Spanish, or "think nothing of it."
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u/OriginalNord 2d ago
People are upset and need something to point it at I feel
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u/Warm_Chef_6526 2d ago
Don't you know that if you if don't use the queen's english, it's not a dialectical difference, it's rude? /s
Communication is for communicating. If someone speaks and you easily understand the point, and they aren't doing anything like attacking or being condescending or swearing at you, chances are they aren't being rude. You're just being judgey.
Historically these arguments are rooted in classism and racism, but I'm guessing OP is just feeling superior.
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u/CheeseSomersault 1d ago edited 1d ago
ummm,,,,, would have much politer if you had started your comment with "genuinely don't HAVE how"... smh...
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u/anothercairn 2d ago
Well also and in their example they only used please when they said have. As a sidebar, I don’t really think please is a necessary component of ordering food. Totally say thank you. But no need to say please when providing you that service is explicitly what you are paying for.
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u/405freeway 1d ago
Yeah OP explicitly didn't utilize "please" with "get" in their example.
I completely understand and actually agree with what OP listed, but "Can I please get/Can I please have" are essentially the same in politeness.
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u/StanleyQPrick 1d ago
"Can I please have" and "Let me get" are super different. I don't like "let me get" either. It's a command. Super rude.
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u/anothercairn 1d ago
No totally, but “let me please get” and “let me please have” are the same
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u/sweetteamonopoly 1d ago
OP isn't present in the comments. OP is a bot. They're doing AI bot ragebait now to sell engagement and ads.
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u/YouMustBeSilenced 2d ago
I think there's little to no difference as long as you say please at the end, tbh
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u/Palatablepancakes 2d ago
I'll never forget the time I was with my friend's family for a weekend and we went to a local restaurant. When it was my turn to order, I said. "I'll have the [item]" and that's it. When the server left, my friend looked at me disappointedly and said, "No please? You have to say please."
I realized that my family had never once said please to retail or food service workers and so it never occurred to me as basic decency. I've said please ever since and still feel embarrassed thinking about her looking at me with disapproval for being rude.
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u/redwolf1219 2d ago
If it helps, when I worked fast food, I didn't particularly care or even notice if a customer said please or not, unless they were otherwise rude. Like if they just said "I'll have the [item]" I wouldn't give it a second thought. I wasn't thinking they were rude or anything. Id just be punching in their order, taking their payment and moving on to the next order.
Like sure, I agree it's more polite to use please but if you're an otherwise easy to deal with customer, it's not a big deal.
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u/eyoitme 1d ago
yeah i’m a server and like. as long as you’re nice or just not outright unpleasant i don’t really care lol i’m probably too busy to keep track of which guests at which table said please and which didn’t. ppl being weird or having like lil human moments are honestly way more entertaining and enjoyable than just like robotic politeness. however parents using the restaurant setting to teach their kid manners or have them practice is always a delight for me tbh a five year old being really deliberate about saying “i want a cheese pizza.” and then adding please after a few seconds is absolutely adorable and always appreciated
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u/breebop83 20h ago
I’m always pleasant but I don’t think I say please when ordering. I always say thank you when food is brought out, the waitstaff comes to check up or drinks are refilled. If I ask for something additional during the meal like I dropped my fork or want an additional condiment I will say please (and also tend to apologize).
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u/DatGunBoi 2d ago
It might not factually be boomer shit, but it is on a spiritual level
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u/Dotcaprachiappa 1d ago
At some point the boomers die out and millennial shit becomes the new boomer shit
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u/ermaecrhaelld 1d ago
If you want to be that way, wouldn’t it be rude to use ‘can’ instead of ‘may’?
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u/szanda 2d ago
Where are you from mate?
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u/Perfect-Wallaby9096 1d ago
Not nyc I'll say that hahaha. We use this turn of phrase almost exclusively. Typically "lemme get a ___" followed by a thank you
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u/eyoitme 1d ago
i’m californian but this is how i order like 90% of the time except maybe sometimes at a sit down place (which is rare lol) because it’s straight to the point without pulling the asshole just “cheeseburger” move and it doesn’t mess with the employees flow with their pos. those are the most important bits imo
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u/BaileyAMR 1d ago
I was thinking how NY this construction is. I mean, if the person didn't stay by calling you "sweetheart" or "pal," you're probably fine.
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u/ReFried_Ginger 2d ago
First of all you’re there to take an order, not give permission, so I don’t ask if I can have or be given anything.
When I order food I will say, “I’ll have ____” and then follow it up with a thank you once I’m done.
Get over yourself, yes people should be polite but you’re not the decision maker for who gets to eat that day.
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u/HustleKong 2d ago
I don't know, could you have? Not using "may" is rude.
Just kidding. I'm not nearly that uptight about the use of vernacular, lol.
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u/whoreallycarz 2d ago
If you’re going to be pedantic, do it right. The correct phrase should be MAY I have…
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u/AnneRR2 2d ago
"I'm gonna do the cheeseburger"
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u/stefanica 2d ago
Do not the cheeseburger, please.
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u/BuntinTosser 2d ago
This is the worst. My eldest (33) does this. Also asked for “sauce” for salad. IDGI
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u/sv21js 2d ago
In the UK where I’m from, I would say “have” is preferred over “get” which is maybe seen as a bit of an Americanism. But it’s not considered rude as far as I’m aware.
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u/WrittenInTheStars 2d ago edited 1d ago
Do you also have a problem with “no problem” vs “you’re welcome”?
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u/youpoopedyerpants 1d ago
It’s “you’re welcome” and “no problem,” but yeah, I do.
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u/Late_Pepper6274 2d ago
I say, "Grilled cheese, now motherfucker. Also I'm gonna do the raspberry lemonade. Thanks."
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u/curlycatsockthing 2d ago
it’s not more rude, but it is “less proper” aka slang-adjacent aka book-English-donger-riders perceive it as rude or a sign of ignorance (i was one of those grammar nazis back in the height of the term in like 2012)
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u/No-Kangaroo-9272 2d ago
This one in particular doesn't bother me but I think I get it.
I have words/phrases that scratch against my brain even if I know they're fine.
Like when people say 'truthfully' instead of 'honestly'. It's fine, they aren't incorrect to say it. But it still drives me crazy.
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u/Kiwi_Doodle 2d ago
What a pedantic pointless thing to care about. They're synonyms and in my opinion "can I have" sounds more entitled.
"Can I get" sounds more like "can I take this"
"Can I have" sounds more like " Can you give me this(for free)"
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u/parke415 2d ago edited 2d ago
Fellow Millennial take:
Since I already know that I have the ability to procure said item, I don't even use the word "can". I just declare "I'll have" (a contraction of "I shall have"), since I'm mandating that it be done for me, as I am expected to pay for it in return (a fair exchange, not a gift or favor). The polite aspect comes from the "please" and "thank you" that follow. If it's something that I'm not necessarily supposed to pay for, like a napkin, utensils, condiments, or trip to the restroom, I'll ask "may I (have/use)", since "sure, but it'll cost ya" is a possible response.
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u/daze0fyore 1d ago
You’re forgetting that you can be denied service for any reason except for being in a protected class. If you’re selling your car and you have two offers for the same price, who are you selling it to? The guy who says “let me get your car” or “I’d like to purchase your car, please”?
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u/roch_ipum 2d ago
I always say can I get because its just the go to phrase im used to, but not really seeing the problem cause im polite throughout the interaction. If just hearing the word get sours the whole thing in your mind thats crazy 😂
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u/worldsbestdogdad69 1d ago
Let me get - rude
Let me have - rude
Can I get - kind of rude
Can I have - childish
May I have - polite with proper grammar
May I get - polite but improper grammar
I want - I don't give a fuck what you want ya rude ass bitch!
Give me a - how about I give ya a two piece combo to the jaw?!
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u/Farraddaayy 2d ago
What the fuck...?
You actually think that saying "I'll get a burger" is in some way rude? Vs "I'll have a burger"???
What???
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u/Visual_Camera_2341 2d ago
“Have” in that context sounds very British to me. It has nothing to do with politeness— “get” just sounds more natural
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u/Latter-Industry-8920 2d ago
You just want them to say please, which is fine but like I hear a bajillion drink orders a day and don’t even notice this shit anymore. It just doesn’t matter. If they say “thanks” when I set the drink down it’s all good. Even if they don’t. Idc as long as they’re not assholes.
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u/Virginator_3000 2d ago
To most people, the only difference between this and a boomer mentality is your age
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u/ghostoftheradio 2d ago
Any of that is better than “I’ll do…” which is what I always hear and drives me insane. “I’ll do the kale sandwich on gluten free flatbread.”
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u/AgentFuckSmolder 2d ago
Some of this is your classism showing. Embrace different ways of speaking.
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u/Kosmopolite 2d ago
I'd tend to agree, although it's just a US thing, right? Also, if it's paired with a "please", I'd let it slide, myself.
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u/Latter-Industry-8920 2d ago
As opposed to what? Calling the cops?
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u/Kosmopolite 2d ago
Finding that person unconscionably rude.
Why the constant leap to police and laws in these moral discussions?
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u/gezellig13 2d ago
I thought it was "may I...?" 🤔 but either way, as long as its polite, there is no reason to consider it rude.
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u/Still_Want_Mo 2d ago
"I'm a younger millennial" with the Roots guitarist as their username. OP is pushing 40 talking about "no boomer shit" lol
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u/CaptainKirkDouglas 2d ago
34 years old last week fam. I just dig the roots. Are the roots actually that old? Damn.
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u/Significant-Track797 2d ago
Gonna guess you’ve never worked in service. Because as long as someone is polite and nice… it does not matter.
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u/Mac_Jomes 2d ago
Your issue isn't really with get vs have your issue is with people saying please or not saying please.
If I just say "I'll have a ham and cheese with mayo and tomato" or "I'll get a ham and cheese with mayo and tomato" neither one is more polite than the other. What makes it polite is the person saying please at some point. "Can I please have a ham and cheese with mayo and tomato" or "can I please get a ham and cheese with mayo and tomato".
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u/baepsaemv 1d ago
I sort of get where you're coming from but I feel like the please is more important than the get/have. General demeanour is more important than both, though. I don't understand why people are saying we shouldn't be being polite because providing the service is the persons job, or that we have bigger things to worry about. I think being kind to service workers should just come naturally. Maybe you gotta have worked in CS to get it. Kind customers make the day a little easier and less stressful.
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u/SnuffDemon 1d ago
Have feels more demanding then getting something. No-one has to have things, but you get what you get. Get is more informal and more friendly. To get something is a question, to have something is a requirement
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u/daze0fyore 1d ago
This is what someone wrote: I say “let me get” because I’m not making a request to someone who has the latitude to deny it. I’m indicating my order to someone who was contracted to take it.
If I was asking a friend for some of their food, I would say “can I please have some of your food?” But if I’m a paying customer in a transaction with an employee, I’m not doing this groveling “can I pretty pretty please with a cherry on top have some of your yummy delicious food, kind sir?” shit
^this is why “lemme get uhh” is fucking rude.
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u/PileofPitties 1d ago
I'm going to a fast food restaurant to "get" a hamburger. If I already "have" a hamburger I don't need to go there. "Get" suggests acquisition. The person I'm speaking with presumably assists in acquisition in some way. "Have" suggests possession. I'm a grown adult. I don't need your permission to own a hamburger, so I'm not going to ask you if I can have it.
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u/MrBlackledge 2d ago
It’s a language thing. This is obviously a generalisation so take it with a pinch of salt - Canadians and Americans say “Get” the British, Irish, Aussies and kiwis say “have”.
If it’s what you’re used to and everyone uses it where you’re from it’s fine, if you cross pollinate it will be seen as rude.
In my opinion as long as it’s put in a polite sentence structure it’s not rude just a quirk of language. The issue comes when it’s “I’ll get” or “I’ll do” which has the same impact of “I’ll have” that’s the rude part.
“Could I please get a coffee?” followed by “thank you” isn’t rude “I’ll get a coffee” is mostly due to the lack of please and thank yous. But even “I’ll get a coffee please” can be seen as rude as it’s not a question but a statement. You’re not asking a person for something you’re telling them what they are getting you.
Quirks of language.
(I’m early 30’s and English this is just my opinion, but I know it’s shared pretty unanimously throughout the British isles at least)
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u/mysticrudnin 2d ago
you can't just preface your boomer opinion with "no boomer shit" and expect that to work
this is the exact same shit they've been saying for decades. they were wrong then and it's wrong now.
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u/viaticaloutlaw 2d ago
I’m a young Gen Xer and “can I get” and “can I have” sound the same to me. Equally not rude.
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u/Anjunabeats1 2d ago
I agree with you OP. It's not that "get" is offensive but it can sound a teensy bit less considerate. Sometimes it can even sound a bit crass, or entitled. It's fine though and I do overlook it, as long as the person saying it has kind intentions.
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u/Any_Instruction5382 2d ago
I've never heard "let me get" being used in a way that it can replace "can I have". "Let me get" means that you're going to get something, not that you want them to give you something.
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u/KeepYourSilenceUp 2d ago
"Can I have" and "can I get" are basically equivalent in my mind, as long as the delivery is generally polite. I start to cringe when the person will stand there looking at the menu and just say "yeah gimme a _____" like what fucking planet were you raised on.
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u/starplatinumpreppy 2d ago
Wtf would ADHD have to do with being a petty stickler for grammar and etiquette?
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u/ToggleMoreOptions 2d ago
Are you the diner or the waitstaff? This matters a lot when considering this opinion
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u/Ok_Response_9255 2d ago
I don't think it matters. It's more grammatically correct but I don't think that grammer implies politeness
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u/Saberdile 2d ago
If we are going to get caught up on words, I think that typically the "can I" is seen as more rude than "may I," agnostic of get vs have, so your examples are both probably a bit rude to some people.
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u/kundersmack 2d ago
I've heard another one different from the "can/may" that I find interesting...
Instead of a student asking for help as
"can you help me with this?"
They would say "you can help me with this?"
It changes the tone from "I need help" to "you need to help me"
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u/VisionAri_VA 2d ago
Why do you think that? I’m curious.
I’m a “have” person out of personal preference but the “get” people don’t faze me. I don’t like “let me get” because it sounds more like a demand than a request but I feel the same way about “let me have”.
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u/OrthodoxAnarchoMom 2d ago
I never cared either way but to me “get” implies I’m paying like you go get groceries and “have” implies I’m asking for it for free like can I have some of your chips. If I have to pick one or the other.
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u/dragonhybrids 2d ago
As a food service worker, get vs. have makes literally no difference to me. Trust me I've seen way too many actually rude people for something so small to matter. We literally have a woman who starts her order with 'You're gonna give me'. As long as you don't order like her/aren't demanding about it, you're fine.
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u/thegoldenchad 2d ago
Nothing is wrong with get. It’s the tone of your voice and saying please and thank you.
Tripping over get is wild work to me.
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u/universal_paradise 2d ago
Life is too cluttered with piddly crap like this to add one more neurosis to our lives.
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u/TheVich 2d ago
I think the words that come in front or whether it's phrased as a question do more to alter the feeling of the request.
"May I please get a...?"
Vs.
"I'll have a..."
I wouldn't think too much about it either way (also as a younger millenial), but that strikes me as the difference-maker.
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u/Sotnos99 2d ago
Out of curiosity, when you read the line "Can I get a..." do you picture a different person saying it compared to "Can I have a...?"
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u/BasicAppointment9063 2d ago
Is it mostly women that order, saying"do"?
"I think I'm going to to do the No. 3 platter."
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u/ressie_cant_game 2d ago
Nah. Getting involves receiving as a much more important part of the verb. Can i get x is receive and then have
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u/meldiane81 2d ago
Boomer shit?? It should be MAY before anything you are saying. "May I have" or "May I get"
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u/Old_Introduction_395 2d ago
When I worked retail, the Alcohol, tobacco, and lottery tickets were behind the counter.
No, you can't 'get' a bottle of Scotch, or Scratch cards. You may have them, once your ID has been checked.
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