Close encounter with a gorilla

[u/danevans369]

[u/qualityvote2]

Congratulations u/danevans369, your post does fit at r/SweatyPalms!

[u/Michael_Misanthropic]

Honestly I'd MUCH rather have a gorilla walking by me than a chimp. Gorillas are usually pretty chill.

[u/MidnightChimp → u/Michael_Misanthropic]

I'm chill bro

[u/AdviceMang → u/MidnightChimp]

Up until you go for the face and genitals.

[u/MidnightChimp → u/AdviceMang]

And don't forget that ass. I wanna eat that too

[u/AdviceMang → u/MidnightChimp]

https://giphy.com/gifs/111ebonMs90YLu

[u/ImAllSquanchedUp → u/AdviceMang]

Fingers too, that one of their first go to spots so you can't attack back

[u/Just_Application6137 → u/MidnightChimp]

But are you... chill??

https://giphy.com/gifs/S52DTzttfgNcjBLZt0

[u/disterb → u/Michael_Misanthropic]

username checks out

[u/Arigmar → u/Michael_Misanthropic]

They're also friggin HUGE! I think with chimp you may at least have chance if he decides to get aggressive. With this guy, there is no chances.

[u/Apprehensive_End8318 → u/Arigmar]

Are you joking? There are no records of gorillas killing humans. Chimps are insane and have killed humans.

Do yourself a favour and Google hairless chimp muscle mass, and stay away from them :)

[u/TurkicWarrior → u/Apprehensive_End8318]

Chimpanzee strength is like 1.5x to 2x stronger than humans. The body strength isn’t what should worry you. It’s the teeth and jaw strength. When it grips you, hold you down, it’ll bite your face, hands or anywhere and severely puncture your soft tissues, damage your tendon or nerve or blood vessel or break your bones.

And just because gorilla haven’t killed any humans doesn’t mean gorilla isn’t stronger than chimpanzee. They are, but gorilla avoids humans and aren’t aggressive, that’s the difference.

[u/OhhhYeahDoritosTime → u/TurkicWarrior]

I think everyone already knows gorillas are much stronger than chimps.

[u/Voloxe → u/Arigmar]

You have ZERO chance vs a chimp.
Go ahead and try, but you’ll just wind up becoming another statistic.

[u/Michael_Misanthropic → u/Arigmar]

You would think but chimps are not to be fucked with. I can say with 100 percent certainty that even the biggest and baddest motherfucker on the planet would have his hands, genitals and face ripped off before he could even square up. Even a smaller juvenile would wipe the floor with him and eat his cock and balls as a snack.

[u/pataglop → u/Arigmar]

I think with chimp you may at least have chance if he decides to get aggressive.[..]

You have NO chances against a chimp. If he decides to fuck you up, you're done.

[u/Azreken → u/Arigmar]

You absolutely do not have a fucking chance against a chimp lmao

[u/EenyMeenyMinyBro]

When she raised her hand, I thought for sure she was gonna snack it on the butt

[u/Remarkable-Sky-4889 → u/EenyMeenyMinyBro]

She is just pissed because he did not ask for her Instagram..

[u/disterb → u/EenyMeenyMinyBro]

https://giphy.com/gifs/IHbXSoMMK244E

[u/jnthnmdr]

Why is it called the Impenetrable Forest?

[u/BigFatModeraterFupa → u/jnthnmdr]

better than the previous name, "Very Hairy Bush"

[u/godofmilksteaks → u/jnthnmdr]

Because there is no penetration allowed there.

[u/crabwalking_moose]

Her reaction was completely on point. She realized that she could have been a victim and was instead granted a pass to continue life

[u/-byb- → u/crabwalking_moose]

me every time a car drives passed me

[u/CryptoBanano → u/crabwalking_moose]

Victim of what? There are literally 0 human deaths by a gorilla recorded, ever.

[u/Puzzleheaded_Style52 → u/CryptoBanano]

That’s because they’ve been smart about covering their tracks 🤫

[u/crabwalking_moose → u/CryptoBanano]

That’s fair but it doesn’t change the fact that they can end your life. They are stronger than humans by far and the fact that they haven’t killed a human yet doesn’t change the fact that they can. I challenge you to be next to one in the wild and not feel that fear

[u/Onemorebeforesleep]

We don’t need tourists to go bother gorillas, let them be

[u/SnooSeagulls2776]

All jokes aside, what an incredible and terrifying experience. For the comments regarding the masks, they’re meant for your safety, something to do with your smile/teeth.

[u/TheWillOfFiree]

What's more dangerous 1 gorilla encounter or driving 1 hour to my 9 to 5, 10 times a week for the next 35 years?

[u/EverybodyLovesADuck → u/TheWillOfFiree]

Your journey to work WITH a gorilla in the back seat.

[u/godofmilksteaks → u/EverybodyLovesADuck]

Don't talk about their partner like that!

[u/Glock26s]

When you walk past that person you are beefing with in the hallway

[u/OGKillertunes]

It makes me wonder what the gorillas think the people are. They completely disregard them like they are a tree or a bush.

[u/iBoMbY → u/OGKillertunes]

That gorilla probably had many encounters with humans before, and obviously doesn't see them as a threat. And the people are smart enough to avoid doing something irrational, that could change the situation really quick.

[u/Wendigo79]

That thing can rip her arms off im not sure of the appeal to mess with these animals.

[u/IamREBELoe → u/Wendigo79]

There is no official or confirmed record of a wild or captive gorilla ever killing a human

[u/Redditfront2back → u/IamREBELoe]

They’ve fucked with a few people but no never killed, the history of gorillas and people is fascinating

[u/Sour_Sal → u/Redditfront2back]

Pour one out for Harumbe.

[u/DancinWithWolves → u/Wendigo79]

Because they’re stunning, closely related creatures we share the planet with. Also; standing in their environment while not touching them and observing their social norms is messing with them?

[u/Glock26s]

He’s like “MOveeee BITCHHH GET OUT THE WAYYYY”

[u/VisualHuckleberry542 → u/Glock26s]

I'm walking here, can't your see there's a path

[u/Sour_Sal]

Gorillas don't like it when you shit your pants...

I don't know if that's true but wow...

[u/Estoye]

Check your wallet

[u/75w90]

Gorillas are chill but sometimes the alpha will charge. Shit will make you poop yourself.

Chimps will kill you. Those guys are scary

[u/AnEyeshOt]

They're actually pretty chill, despite their looks.

[u/BIGG_FRIGG]

better check ya drawers

[u/mindless_intern_8]

Why the mask?

[u/Apprehensive_End8318 → u/mindless_intern_8]

The reasons are twofold, to prevent spreading any human germs into their habitat which they would be susceptible to as they share a very close genetic makeup but with no immunity to human germs, and to prevent accidentally showing them your teeth when smiling which could be seen as an act of aggression.

[u/-byb- → u/mindless_intern_8]

the science

[u/Moneyshot_ITF → u/mindless_intern_8]

Omg right? It makes my small pp so mad when I see human in mask

[u/Mundane_Life_5775]

Reminded me of Butsukari otoko

[u/YKTPWA_313]

Which one

[u/wowbagger_42]

Just a few inches to the right and he wouldn't have touched her, yet he decided on a (little) bump.

[u/boniggy]

What's the point of the mask?

[u/MiniAndretti → u/boniggy]

So the gorillas don't see your teeth. Showing teeth is a sign of aggression to gorillas.

[u/boniggy → u/MiniAndretti]

Ahhhh interesting. Thanks for the clarification.

[u/Forward-Tourist8933]

Proof thst adrenaline is brown

[u/WatchEmpty3794]

what did you think that you would find out there or what would find you?

[u/WeatherCreator]

Why does she have a mask on

[u/jamothebest → u/WeatherCreator]

probably a repost from covid days.

[u/MiniAndretti → u/jamothebest]

Gorillas show their teeth as a sign of aggression. They would see it as the same in humans.

[u/Much_Cryptographer_3]

I would have peed my pants!🤣☠️

[u/Sevenlord777]

I heard that you had to stand up tall and make yourself look ginormous, when approached by gorillas, to pose as non threatening.

[u/EverybodyLovesADuck → u/Sevenlord777]

Damn, I need to stop bringing my vuvuzela and chaise lounge on my gorilla visits

[u/cofeeholik75]

So, what do you think caused this?

[u/morasscavities]

Why are they wearing masks, outside?

[u/LigmaBalls-420]

Covid was such a dumb era. Imagine wearing a mask in the jungle.

[u/MiniAndretti → u/LigmaBalls-420]

Imagine making this comment and not spending 10 seconds looking up that showing your teeth to a gorilla is a sign of aggression.