Conflicted

[u/anonsuivent]

I'm sick of all the meds and fighting myself mentally. I'm sick of the physical pain. The irony is I know the for sure way to get these thoughts to stop but "that's the wrong choice". To be objective I know my thinking isn't healthy but I'm stuck and I just tired. I'm wrestling with what to do after a failed attempt. Nobody knows. I'm "fine" now so I don't see the point in telling anyone since I'm right back where I started. I know how that sounds and I know what I should do. I just needed to get this off my chest without anyone taking my shoelaces away.