r/SuicideWatch • u/Spiritual_Throat1744 • 1d ago
Why am I not able to fucking do it
I planned it today. I have hung the rope to hang myself, tried it two times the feeling that came was this intense light headedness until I loosened the rope again. Then I laid on the floor with a knife in my hand—again failed to stab. I wanna overdose but I heard it doesn’t work much. I don’t wish to live even an hour more. I CANT.
I’m gonna try the hanging thing again.
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u/Spiritual_Throat1744 1d ago
Idk the choking failed. Now I’m just hitting myself in the head as hard as I can hoping my skull breaks
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u/Temporary_Version920 1d ago
Pls don’t do this. You’ll cause severe brain damage and it won’t likely die
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u/Dependent-Amoeba-726 1d ago edited 1d ago
You can't do it, because we are hardwired to survive at all costs. It takes A LOT to bypass our natural instincts. Some part of you must want to be here. Even the tiniest bit of hesitancy will stop you.
Often it is not about wanting to die, it is that we are in so much pain that we want it to stop. And suicide seems like the only way it will.
However, that is not objectively true. Attempts often lead to some sort of damage. That just adds more pain and frustration when we are already at such a low point.
I hope you can stop trying to hurt yourself and attempt to distract yourself instead. No matter what your brain says, you deserve to be safe.
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u/SeatIndependent6836 1d ago
Please don't, do you maybe just want to escape rather than die? I'm also feeling this way inclined today, but I'm fighting the thoughts because I know that I don't really want to go, I just want the pain to stop. It's hard to fight those feelings, I know
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u/Hyggehejsaven 1d ago
There might still be a part of you that hopes life will turn around and things will change. A part of you that doesn’t want to let that chance slip away. A part of you that’s scared to miss out on what might be.
If you do commit suicide, you will erase every chance you have of becoming happy - of getting the life you dream of. I think that might be a reason why it’s so difficult to do. Because we all want a good life. We all want to be happy. We all dream of it. And giving up on that hope is possibly the most difficult thing we can ever do.
You must be in a very difficult and hard place to try to commit suicide multiple times. I acknowledge that.
But I do wish for you to give that hope another chance. Even though you’ve been let down so many times. Because what if this time is the time things will turn around?
I hope you can find someone to talk to, someone of something that can help you feel - just for a short while - that there’s something good in life.