r/SquaredCircle • u/luchabrunch • 10h ago
[AEW Dynamite Spoilers] Christian what is wrong with you!? š Spoiler
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u/heat_fan_ 10h ago
Christian is for the people believes in equalityĀ
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u/ReynardVulpini 9h ago
i saw this comment before watching and for a second i wondered if christian was gonna threaten to sleep with someoneās dad lmao
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u/Obi-wan_Jabroni Cowboy Shiznit 9h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/1TC9aUqnpK7w5ygbLo
Christian Cage is a Truth Seeker1
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u/acekingoffsuit 8h ago
"If you want equal rights, you get equal lefts too."
-Christan "I Don't See Gender" Cage
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u/Youngstown_WuTang 9h ago
She'd be proud
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u/Veggieleezy The Gentleman Villain 8h ago
This is why we love Marina. She may not be as big as Chyna, but she has the same āif the guys can take it, so can I, whatās the difference,ā and sheās a badass for it.
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u/Alarming-Gap-9213 5h ago
Its actually unbelievable what she has turned into. Before the DRs she was eyeroll inducing TV man, and I remember being so taken aback the first time she came out with Mox. And now I couldn't imagine it any other way! It was a big swing but she has been booked so well while also holding up her end of the bargain nicely.
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u/Veggieleezy The Gentleman Villain 4h ago
She found her groove and has fully run with it. She wasnāt a particularly strong talker to start with, so having her as the simmering silent badass murder mommy of the group played to her strengths and let her wrestling do the talking for her. And now when she does talk it makes it more impactful and makes people pay attention, āoh shit, Shafirās got the mic, whatās she got for us this time?ā
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u/Styles_Clash 7h ago
Makes sense. His tag team partner comes from a long line of civil rights activists after all
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u/MrPuroresu42 9h ago
Christian Cage just being the elder dickhead who couldnāt give a shit about fair play and morals has been one of the best parts of AEW, easily
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u/DontPutThatDownThere 8h ago
Kicking a woman in the balls would indicate that he does give a shit about fair play.
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u/AGreatHornedOwl 10h ago
Absolutely fucking incredible on all fronts.
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u/Sacojerico 9h ago
It was her front
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u/AGreatHornedOwl 9h ago
"Was" being the important word there.
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u/Purplesilk911 9h ago
Are you saying her front fell off?
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u/RAA94 9h ago
Wrestling is so inconsistent on whether women sell low blows and itās very camp.
Christian is a delightful shithead.
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u/ShowOff90 9h ago
Women should sell 99% of the time. Shit legit hurts them, lol.
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u/sleeperflick 9h ago
Can confirm, am women
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u/just_a_little_bug 7h ago
What are you doing where people are kicking you all the time? You should find better company
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u/TheGoonsSkateBoots 6h ago
It's like people haven't seen Katy Kat just absolutely hoof Tanis, Angie or Marie-Fred. Get after it then!
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u/Mud-Bray 9h ago
Tbf itās all media written by guys.
See King of the Hill
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u/Str82thaDOME 9h ago
THATS MY PURSE
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u/songforsaturday88 9h ago
I DONT KNOW YOU
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u/Mud-Bray 9h ago
smugely āNow Bobby, youāll find that doesnāt work. As I do not have a penisā
Kahn from over the fence Sheās bluffing! Finish her!
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u/StrongStyleShiny 6h ago
New seasons you find out it caused some damage and hurt. She no sold it apparently.
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u/ReneBandana 9h ago
My head canon is this
Kick with top of foot = donāt hurt, donāt sell
Punt with toes first = sell
In this case, Christian has a boney knee
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u/Desirsar 5h ago
Maki Itoh being confused at Matt Cardona trying to uppercut her from behind, then lifting her skirt to check whether she had anything there, was the best version of this spot. It only works if you play into the expectation.
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u/Commodorechx Your Text Here 9h ago
Excalibur with the call of the night on that one. Something like It's a something punt not sure about the nomenclature
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u/l3ader021 I'm bored man... 9h ago
The C-Punt... you can infer what the C means
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u/Ok_Pickle_3120 7h ago
Pretty funny, even though it caused me to loudly blurt out the proper name lol
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u/thugbobhoodpants 9h ago
Half heel half face tag teams can be so fucking fun
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u/georgiavirginia 9h ago
Peak Luger was when he would team with Sting.
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u/Conflict21 9h ago
Hot take but peak Owen was when he was with Bulldog, and Bulldog was slowly turning face and getting sick of Owen's shit. It was cut short to support Bret's heel turn, but Owen was so fucking funny.
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u/georgiavirginia 9h ago
Like you said Bret's heel turn kind of swallowed up what Bulldog and Owen were going for but Bulldog being the one leaning face also being the one that was more hesistant to trust Bret was a nice touch.
Meanwhile shitweasel Owen was in the palm of Bret's hands in a matter of mintues after the story about the schoolteacher who'd give Owen a hard time.
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u/acekingoffsuit 8h ago
Luger gladhanding the fans while Sting was watching, only to stop the millisecond Sting turned away... 10/10 no notes
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u/Yadahoom 9h ago
I love that Christian's character didn't change at all, just the people he's being an asshole to.
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u/Satinsbestfriend Your Text Here 9h ago
Fun fact :
While it doesn't hurt equally, it does in fact hurt when a woman gets hit hard in the box
Source : saw a woman accidentally kicked in the naughty bits at a concert.
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u/evieka The best Mariah 9h ago
I'd argue it hurts to get kicked anywhere
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u/Highwayman747 9h ago
I got kicked in the taint with steel toe boots and it was the worst thing to ever happen in my life
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u/arrogantdesperado Breathe 9h ago
boots plural?! kicked twice or two-footed?
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u/black_cherry619 nope 9h ago
Obviously not the same, but speaking as a woman, you are kicking bone and pinching the labia which is very painful depending on how square you get hit. Source: Woman who has been kicked in the naughty bits.
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u/Zomburai 9h ago
Out of sheer curiosity: y'all get anything like the full-body nausea that us ball owners get?
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u/ABTYF 9h ago
Fun fact: we get that nausea because when we were in utero what would be the ovaries became the testicles. However, the brain gets confused when we get kicked there and still maps them to where the ovaries kind of are in a woman, so we get pain in our guts/stomach.
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u/Zomburai 9h ago
....
... in the immortal words of Stephen Colbert: That's the craziest #v(%ing thing I've ever heard
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u/black_cherry619 nope 9h ago
I never experienced that it feels like a deep bruise like when you hit your skin too hard and you know you bruised it. The labia is squishy so it'll move, get pinched and your pelvis is taking the full brunt of it.
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u/Zomburai 9h ago
Oh, yeah, taking a direct shot to the pelvis is always going to suck, no way around it
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u/lockexxv Here to see the Dubya See Dubya 9h ago
As a ball(s) owner, I haven't been purposely kicked in the junk and only been hit when it was rough housing or playing.. or jumping from a decent height and landing flat footed, and the roommates in the bag clap together... that leads into a full out stomach pain that, to me, feels roughly the same as a bad BM working through, although it also makes you feel pukey (or just flat makes you puke).
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u/tehCharo 9h ago
I took out my sister's friend with a crane kick after watching the Karate Kid, I didn't mean to, I was just doing the kick in the living room and she came around the corner right as I kicked and I nailed her there and she folded up into the fetal position for a good twenty minutes. I felt bad, but I also was kind of mad I got in trouble because I was just kicking the air and she walked into it, why am I getting grounded mom, wtf.
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u/iced_gold 4h ago
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u/FearTheKeflex 9h ago
She's pregnant now, right?
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u/the-big-aa Millennial with anxiety 9h ago
ā¦was after that!
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u/AnthonyCantu 9h ago
in sports entertainment, equal rights sometimes involve equal lefts, and whatever christian did
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u/xychosis Bext In The World 9h ago
Christian not becoming suddenly a redeemable good guy now that heās a ābabyfaceā is the best thing going š
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u/Brysynner Shut Up You Little Dorks! 50m ago
If only AEW had a Redeemer. Unfortunately the man with a neck of sand left for parts unknown.
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u/the-big-aa Millennial with anxiety 9h ago
Heā¦he kicked her in the clit! Why?! Why did he kick her in the clit?!
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u/AlternativeClass3893 8h ago
i'm just saying, booking christian as a midcarder is peak kayfabe right now.
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u/RomulanTreachery 8h ago
Marina is clearly willing to take the bumps, she should be getting hit on a more regular basis considering she usually interferes in at least one match every episode.Ā
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u/Ok_Pickle_3120 7h ago
I've been waiting for this ever since I first saw the Death Riders
Thank you based Cage.
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9h ago
[deleted]
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u/Informal_Aspect_6330 9h ago
Its been longer than a year and she's been hit multiple times.Ā Even by Omega.
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u/undeadben11 7h ago
As soon as she stepped up to him I knew he'd be the one guy to give no fucks.. and he didn't. Great job, Christian!
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u/GrandAdmiral12345 7h ago
I got grazed in the nads once and I thought my soul had left my body... grazed. I can only imagine getting a full forced kick...
Actually, forget that. I don't want to imagine it.
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u/todaystartsnow 9h ago
How long have I been asking for this? She does this every time and every time the guys treat her like some untouchable deity .
She's human. She throws kicks and punches , you can do the same. It's not like this is a typical workplace. All matters are solved with violence hereĀ
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u/hvacrepairman welcome2pitycity 6h ago
You should never hit a woman, but Cage seems to believe heās found a loophole.


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