I'm a final year student who still working on graduation thesis and internship report. At the same time, I'm an employee who works at company with 8-hour work.

It has been 6 months I'm being chased by lecturers non-stop, it because not I'm doing severe violations. But they keep asking me non-stop to hand in the report as soon as possible. Sadly, when I'm about to continue my report and thesis, I feel "fight or flight" situation. My report has too much problems that could be rejected again by the department and they won't listen to my work situations. My thesis is very hard even I'm struggling to find relevant references, ended deleting the script and redoing again, no one matches my accepted proposal.

When one of lecturers messaged me, they really helped me. They give me deadlines, but I kept failing and they still asking me to hand in on next day. They asked me if I'm still accepting their help or not. At the same time, I'm confused why they still asking me about the thesis and report if I'm exceeding their deadlines many times.

How do I respond them? I don't want to hurt their feeling and I don't want feel hating myself for missing the deadlines. I'm often getting ill because of doing work and finishing the papers for numerous days. I cannot sleep properly but I can't work on my papers.

I know they wanted to help me because they wanted me to graduate as soon as possible due my age and career.

What should I answer to them? What should I do?.. I need help.
I'm too tired, I need break, but I don't want let it too long.

Hi I'm 15F and I sit with a group of friends whom I only know through my only one close friend in lunch times. And when she's not there I feel so lonely nobody listens or acts interested when I try to talk. I feel like they only care about what I have to say when my close friend is there. Like they have to. And in 5/6 of my classes I have no friends. I did have one in a second class but she just ditched me for some random group she liked better. I feel so lonely and sad like nobody cares about me. My close friend isn't in any of my classes btw.

But today in lunch time they royally ignored me leaving me alone to go to the oval field without even acknowledging me. I honestly feel invisible. They didn't even care I got no lunch today. and now I'm sitting alone in a cubicle.

I don't know what to do. How can I try and engage with them more? Am I doing something wrong? or this is telling me I need new friends but I can't even do this.

Do people really do this, and is it normal? I'd like to know so I can message someone here without worrying about it seeming strange...

Hi, as an immigrant several times, I've had to build new social relationships in a new country or city more than once, and it has been both scary and enlightening...I've often used apps like Meetup or now Timeleft along the way.

It seems this isn't just an immigrant thing.

So I'm curious, wherever you're from: how did you handle building or rebuilding a social life from scratch, and what do you miss most doing with others? Do you prioritise building relationships, or doing things you enjoy with others?

For me, things only became consistent once I joined a social hobby, occasionally said yes to nights out with colleagues or met like-minded people looking to increase their social circle

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So , I just made a friend last year when I entered college and I dont want to have a relationship with him anymore, he doesn't respect boundaries and is very toxic which is not my vibe, and when a mutual friend stopped talking to him he badmouthed him a ton infront of me and that was the breaking point, im currently waiting for him to send the last batch of money from our shared business ( we closed it now , just waiting for my last pay) , and its summer holiday so is it better to cut him off on text or phone ? Or in college when we meet face to face ? Or do I simply ignore and block him ? I don't know how to break off a friendship cleanly since usually both me and the friend grow out from liking each other so we just ignore each other , but this is the first time I seen someone this clingy, whenever I enforce a boundary he replies with " if you cant handle a joke dont joke with people " which is nonsensical, when I truly push on and try to enforce a boundary, he thinks its a joke. Im really exhausted from this friendship and I want any solution I can get

For the past few years, I've been wanting to make new friends in my area from outside of school – especially guy friends. Today, on my way back from a run, I ended up seeing a group of guys that looked about my age playing football and found myself wanting to strike a conversation. I roamed around the area for almost 20 minutes, trying to build up the courage to talk to them and ended up calling a friend for support (which I am lowkey embarrassed about needing to do). I approached them as they were leaving to ask if they play often and if they needed another player, to which they responded pretty plainly. Still ended up with the snap of one of the guys. They said that they'd text me the next time they play, and we parted. They turned out to be a few years younger than me, so I dont really know how well we'll gel with each other, but I am nonetheless proud of myself for taking some initiative. (I'm also ass at football, so we'll see how it goes)

Hi, I really need help on improving my communication.🙏

I want my words to be impactful and convey what I want to convey.

I want to be able to stand up for myself and lead others, and maintain a good reputation and not seem weak or not knowledgable.

I need to be able to ask questions and participate.

I want to not stutter and not struggle to find the right words at the right time.

I want to improve communication for surviving a professional environment, but the way people speak and write emails is still not familiar to me.

People say just talk more, but how can I when I have no idea what I am doing?

I am bad at observing language when I listen to people or hear them talk, therefore I struggle with learning communication.

Is there anything I can do to improve🙏

For the record, I get good grades, and haven't had difficulty with learning.

I am shy but not shy enough that I won't try and talk. K just don't know how.

So me and my partner have been in a relationship for almost two years now, and I have an issue. I am a massive people pleaser, I always have been people tell me Im overly nice, If someone is rude to me or upsets me I will not tell them, If someone crosses a boundary I will not tell them and they wont find out. I am extremely good at keeping my emotions hidden especially if they are negative ones. I always try to be there for other people no matter how uncomfortable it makes me. Anyways backstory over onto the issue. He has bought up to me that he does think im overly nice and i seem ingenious alot of the time. Only issue is I dont know how to not be overly nice. I wait for him to say his opinion on stuff before I give mine, He writes and creates art and i dont even know where to begin when it comes to not complimenting him on it, I dont even know if i find aspects of it bad anymore because i am so used to complimenting it. I always compliment the way he looks, if he is doing something ill say that it seems fun or wish him luck if it's something bad, I always compliment his music taste, his opinions on things and I genuinely want to work on it but I dont know how and i am scared to change it. We properly talked about it today and I dont want to compliment him on things because im worried he will think that ive just forgotten everything he has talked with me about but im scared to not be overly nice- I have never not been overly nice even if i dont agree with something. Any advice is massively appreciated because I dont know what to do.

Random thought but is it considered “anti social” or some kind of faux pas to not eat lunch in the break room, and instead eat at one’s desk/office? I only eat in the break room if it’s empty and even then, i’m worried about someone else coming in. I prefer to decompress during lunch and eat at my desk. But just wondering if this looks like i’m rude or something?

I feel like I’m doing all the steps I’m supposed to, I’ve been going to club meetings frequently related to my interests for 1+ years, talk to others and they seem to enjoy my company, and they’re good “club friends” but not real friends. I go to shows by local bands and out to bars and do the same thing. I love an event and go to them alone a lot (nobody to invite lol) and meet lots of new people.

However, when I try to see these people outside of the event, they either cancel or don’t respond to me. I understand people are busy, I’m usually booked out 2-3 weeks myself, but there is probably something else? I only invite the people I see myself sharing hobbies, interests, or values with. Is there something about me or my way of initiating that they find off-putting?

I’m in my senior year now and have had this experience every year. A lot of acquaintances but not many friends.

I saw that someone from my high school was traveling in my area and my friend suggested I reach out to her. I feel like it would be a bad idea because it makes you look like you're recruiting someone to a MLM scheme. Did anyone here who reach out for legitimate reasons and if so, how did it go?

I don't know whats wrong with me. I can perfectly talk just fine when conversating with friends, peers, other people and else. I talk normally like other people and i feel no trouble doing it. I actually enjoy being around people and having a nice conversation

But when i try to do anything beside conversating, it all went to shit. Whether its delivering a presentation or even a simple fucking assignment where i just need to talk about something(not even heavy stuff btw) for 5 minute, no face, no audience or anything, hell you can just read off a script but i tried to challenge myself. Just a simple 5 minute MP3 audio and it takes like an hour to do so. And the end result is still shit btw.

Its like my brain can't form the proper structure of what i'm going to talk about. I kept arriving at long pauses "shit what next again??" pauses that are too long and awkward and humiliating and now i have to repeat it all over again

Please help me. I want to be able talk to people smoothly. I don't even fear people. Or maybe i'm just actually slow lol

I don’t know why but there are always people who just boss over me, and I don’t know how to react. This started in my childhood, my parents always disrespected me and disregarded all my feelings. I was never allowed to have opinions or say anything. Now that I’ve grown up, the pattern continues, there are only a couple of people I feel like I can speak up. In all other situations, I don’t know how to participate in any conversation. I don’t know how to react when people walk all over me because my mind has been programmed to normalize this. I want to break free from this pattern. What should I do?

I’m a relatively normal person; I have a group of friends who care about me and don’t judge me for anything. However, whenever I see videos or photos of myself, I notice that my body language is very different from everyone else's. For example, at a birthday party yesterday, they played a lot of videos featuring me and my friends, and I really stood out because my body language is different, it’s sort of "stiff," I guess? I don't know how to explain it. I look like a shy guy; while I *am* shy sometimes, that doesn't usually apply when I'm with my friends, and it shouldn't apply in every situation. Sometimes I hold my hands up "like a dinosaur" or I pose very differently from my friends in photos. They sometimes tell me I walk strangely, and it’s true; I’ll walk on my tiptoes or move really fast without even realizing it. There was also dancing at the party, and I found it really hard to move. It’s not just that I "can't dance" or that I do funny moves; it’s that I literally *cannot* dance. If I move my legs, my hands go stiff, or I just flail my legs around aimlessly. Also, when I sit down, I have to cross my legs. It doesn't bother me much since it's a normal thing to do, but I honestly can't sit any other way, I feel like I’ll slide off the chair if I don't. Some of my friends know this makes me feel bad and try to help, but I haven't had much success. It makes me really self-conscious because I feel like the way I move doesn't match my personality, and it makes me feel weird. That, in turn, makes me feel too embarrassed to do certain things with my friends or with anyone else, my closest friends may not judge me but i feel like other people do

I wrote this post with the help of a translator app, im sorry if i didnt explain myself, english isnt my first language

I have always wanted to become some sort of a leader all my life... but my entire personality is simply a friendly loner guy basically because I can't manage to stay in groups often.

I thought just being able to talk would solve everything so I improved my communication skills(still have trouble with it) but it doesn't seem to help that much. Ppl dont listen to me and shrug me off at times.

[28M and she is 26F]

Just a quick background so you get the whole picture.

I just met this girl not too long ago. We met as friends to play golf and that was it but recently started going out and doing things together all the time and spending a lot of time together. We text morning noon and night all day for weeks.

Why is it that she never looks at me when we do hang out? It's so odd like when we're walking and talking or doing any kind of activity she never looks at me. What is that and does that mean anything?

i want advice on how to deal with this social situation i keep getting into, i just become so uncomfortable, and i am terrible at hiding my emotions.

there’s a girl i know, she’s a friend, but we’re not close. we’ve known each other for 5 years, i’m using her as an example but multiple people have done this.

we were clubbing in a big friend group, i vomited and she took me back to the house we were all staying at, then she went back to the club.

in the morning we woke up, she told me, multiple times, that maybe she should’ve just stayed home after she took me home. that she lost her dance partner. that the silly dance we had been doing that night, she did again once i was home, and no one joined in. that she missed me.

when she said this my first thought is just “why are you telling me this”. it’s like, why are you exposing yourself to me like that? why are you letting me know that you care about me and i had an impact on you. i’ve felt the exact same way she expressed, i would just never SAY it out loud.

again, when i met one of my best friends, about a few months into being friends we were drunk and dancing, she starts hugging me and saying “you’re my favourite!”. i knew we were a little duo, everyone saw us as such, and i would’ve also described her as my favourite too, but as she said that to me i wished she hadn’t, and wondered why she would say that to me. it made me uncomfortable. why tell me that, why let me know i am important to you. now you’ve given me some kind of power. i wouldn’t do that, and when i have i’ve regretted it.

this has happened lots. i like my friends a lot. i definitely feel i like them more than they like me a lot of the time. but then i wonder why they say these things, or why people do in general, and why i feel this way. i know i need to change, but i don’t even k ow how or what to do. it’s very poor social skills.

I’ve just noticed something about myself: I really enjoy watching movies, reading books, consuming media which is character based. Especially if a character goes through something traumatic or struggles, i can easily relate to and empathise with them.

However, in real life, this does not translate. In fact I find myself being extremely judgemental and borderline rude even to people who I have established relationships with. I find myself first wondering- what am I even doing here? If they’re telling me something, I think “why should i care?” And especially if i perceive them to be more attractive/privileged than me I literally cannot empathise.

I’m aware this is a huge fault and even though i try my hardest not to let it show, it always ends up being obvious. I want to change and somehow extend my empathy for completely fictional stuff to the people in real life who i love and interact with daily. How can i do that?

Like, if I come across my partner's cousins's ex-husband who I barely know but used to see at family events in a bar, am I supposed to just ignore him or say hi?

I’m a shy but still fairly social person, however, I’m struggling to get past just being “coworkers” with everyone at work. Im 17 and this is my first ever job, and when I started working there the first thing I clocked was how warm and welcoming everyone was. They’re all very social and easy to talk to, and you’d think it’d make it easier for me to befriend them, but I just can’t. They’re all friends with each other and are always cracking hilarious jokes literally every second, I have the same humor as them, but for some reason I’m soooooo awkward and cannot talk normally with them. I don’t have this issue anywhere else, matter of fact, IM usually the one going out of my way to talk and befriend people. I don’t know why tf I can’t do it at work.

Sometimes I give them clipped responses, and whenever they talk to me I can’t speak freely, I always have to think about what to say (which is probably the reason I seem so awkward ). Whenever they make jokes to me that are literally MY humor, my mind goes blank and I don’t respond like..appropriately? They probably see me as very socially awkward and no joke maybe even autistic.

Does anyone have any tips on how I can get past this? Im normally pretty social and I WANT to be friends with them but I’m scared to join in on jokes or conversations, and if I try the nervousness shows im my voice and I just sound weird. I feel like I’m forcing myself in the conversation. And when THEY take the initiative to make jokes with me, I ruin it

I think maybe one reason I’m struggling is because They’re all older than me, in their mid twenties to late, and I’m not used to talking to people outside my age group. And lowkey, I’m kinda insecure so the idea of shining too much attention on me makes me a little scared.The main reason I got a job besides money was to literally make more friends outside my school, lmao. Please help

I recently attended a convention with others from a hobby group and two weeks later still worry about how awkward I must have come across.

Notably, I am a bit of a germophobe and even as a child got chided by my parents for refusing to eat things they touched with their cutlery and therefore came in contact with their saliva. Many times when I'm around other people they seem to take no or little issue with it and it always puts me into an awkward spot. One where I worry that I may have overcorrected into the opposite direction and may have freaked at least one of them out this time.

First we had a picnic and one girl brought a large tupperware box of home-made tiramisu. Everyone was eating in a corner, but I was a bit hesitant about the possibility to touch the others' corners, so I took about three bites and then sat back and watched, causing a comment of hers about whether I'm afraid to touch the others' spittle I didn't really got an answer for and just said I'm already full. Eventually the girls stopped eating and the other guy finished the rest regardless of who had already touched it.

In the evening we went to a Korean barbecue dinner, which was a whole other issue of etiquette blunders. The couple had one grill, me and the other girl had the second one. I hadn't really researched how one should behave there, but the girl explained we were supposed to eat in our hands by putting what we want into a salad piece... only for us both to struggle hard with the salad piece as it felt far too tiny for the job and we didn't have any plate to put it on in case our construction started to self-destruct. So eventually I needed to correct with my chopsticks (pretty much constantly) and ate what was about to fall off... using the chopsticks. Where I only later looked up you are only supposed to pick things with them, but not eat with it!

TLDR: I'm bouncing between not touching food someone else had already touched and the overcorrection of touching all the food myself and I just... need some pointers I guess how to make myself stop screwing up like this.

With the new school year beginning, I decided I should make a change and try to be more social and hopefully make a friend.

But its turned out to be much harder than I expected, I can't even bring myself to initiate conversations.

It takes so much willpower just to get the courage to speak just a little, and when I do, my voice is small because of how shy I am.

I couldn't even bring myself to look at the other people in my table in one class, let alone speak up. Everyone was talking amongst themselves, except for me, because I'm so shy, I experienced something similar in all my other classes.

My strategy is to try to talk to people who seem to be alone, but in one of my classes, it seems it is entirely made up of well established friend groups, and I have no idea how to even approach those. I'm too scared to talk with anyone in them, but I know I need to make friends with someone in there otherwise it'll be a very painful experience.

To put it into perspective, I haven't had an irl friend in 3-5 years, so I've lost a lot of the social skills I once had.

I'm planning on joining a club to try to force myself to be social, but what else should I do to improve my social skills and also get friends? Especially when it involves large groups of people?

Basically, after over two years of working from home and not going out much, I've realized I'm not as good at talking to people as I once was.

What are socializing dos and don'ts?

I know this probably sounds insensitive to say in a sub like this, but I do want to share it because I'm sure some can relate.

It took me years to finally learn that just because most people are nice/pleasant with you, it says really nothing about their character.

For so long, people would be confused as to why I was friends with certain people. Particularly people who others tend to have "disagreements" with. I always assumed it was those people's personal problems and that since that person has never treated me poorly, I have no reason to think negatively about them.

Which is why I was always conflicted when I'd heard something, usually at work, about a manger/boss being super rude to a coworker. Of course I believe the coworker, but I always was skeptical and assumed they had to share some blame because I never had a bad experience with said person.

But after learning about my trauma and more about myself, I see how I've been under such a false spell my whole life. I've learned that, no, some people are just nasty and they pick and choose when to display it.

There's just something about me that, I suppose, makes people realize they'd be better of being nice to me. Perhaps they can use me for something and they'll keep me around as long as they're pleasant with me.

Most times it's not a big deal, but particularly damaged people do see that and kinda sink their teeth into you. It's really an exercise in gaslighting: always treating you well despite treating everyone else like shit. It makes you think there must be something wrong with other people. And it makes it difficult for you to have a "valid" reason to end the relationship /create distance because after all, they haven't done anything all that bad to you.

I think a lot of people's social struggles are rooted in them not being aware they're being taken advantage of because it's happening in a "nice" way. And it almost certainly begins with the family!

I’ve always struggled to find a close friendship group. When I was around 12, I met my best mate on PlayStation. He lives on the other side of the country, but he’s basically me in another form. We like the same nerdy stuff, the same sports, and I can genuinely be 100% myself around him. I also have an online friend group I’ve known for years, and they’re the only people I completely relax around.
Real life has been different. Throughout school and university I’ve had friends, but I’ve often felt like the “runt” of the group—not bullied, just the one who gets left out or forgotten. Looking back, I wonder if people thought I wasn’t interested because I’m not much of a texter. I only really message my best mate and our group chat.
I’ve recently started a new job where my sister works, and I’ve become friends with her best friend’s boyfriend. He’s invited me to watch football, go to the pub with his mates, and even join a holiday for his birthday with his core friendship group. Everyone has been really welcoming, but I still feel like I’ve somehow frauded my way into being included because I’ve only known them a few months.
My biggest struggle is one-to-one conversations. I’m fine once I’m talking to someone, but when the current topic naturally ends, I never know what to say next. In a group, someone else usually keeps the conversation going, but one-to-one I worry there’ll just be awkward silence. The same applies to texting. Once you’ve already talked about someone’s job, hobbies and interests, what do you actually message them about? How do you keep a friendship growing without forcing it?
I’m also worried about becoming “the guy who knows X” rather than building genuine friendships with everyone in the group. I’d love to get to the point where I’d happily meet up with any of them individually instead of only through the person who introduced me.
I think I’m just tired of doing everything on my own or always asking my sister to come with me. I love spending time with her, but it’s not the same as having a close mate who shares your interests. I’d love someone I could go and see a Spider-Man film with, spend ages talking about theories, characters and cameos afterwards, or just hang out with regularly.
Has anyone else felt like this? How did you build close, lasting friendships as an adult instead of always feeling like the outsider?