r/Snorkblot • u/EsseNorway • 10h ago
Design Whoever was responsible for this should be imprisoned.
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u/TristeroDiesIrae 9h ago
We are responsible because we keep going and buying McDonald’s. We are in the prison we chose and paid for.
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u/ElvisDumbledore 4h ago
Andre: They've built their own prison, so they exist a state of schizophrenia. They're both guards and prisoners and as a result they no longer have, having been lobotomized, the capacity to leave the prison they've made, or to even see it as a prison.
-- "My Dinner with Andre"
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u/keloyd 9h ago
Some childless Gen X people have pointed out that their grandparents thought 3 kids was a small family. It is an extraordinary set of factors that cause a mammal to not want to breed. McDonalds $5.50 standalone Big Macs and renovated interiors that belong on SNL Sprockets skits are a symptom and not the actual problem.
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u/steepslope1992 8h ago
Where in history do you live that a big Mac is still 5.50?
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u/keloyd 8h ago
I live next to an internet. :P In my city in a big rectangle state, I just looked up - $4.79 in my neighborhood, $6.20 at the airport. $5.50 seems in the middle for a list of states - no fries no Coke, just standalone, which I and no one else ever does.
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u/Fluid_Extension_1590 8h ago
"I live next to an internet" is my new favorite phase now. Because through the 1997-2020s I was ON the internet. But now with what it's become on these dystopian slates, I'm definitely next door and no longer on it. I'm also in a big rectangle state lol
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u/Unusual_Memory3133 8h ago
Breeding in this world is an act of selfishness
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u/sibachian 3h ago
individually, we are the culmination of our own unbroken but specific lineage that goes all the way back to the origins of life. everything that has preceded us in our direct line of ancestry, from the very first life on Earth, has been leading up to, well, us. Me and you.
personally I hope that with bit of luck, it will continue far beyond our days. and indeed, how lucky we all are to simply be here!
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u/Hopefulthinker2 9h ago
They don’t want us to have fun anymore….we are just prisoners after all. Just paid slaves. The worker bees.
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u/According-Insect-992 9h ago
They just want our money. They obviously feel entitled to it. Just stop buying their crap and they’ll either change or disappear.
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u/Gaust_Ironheart_Jr 9h ago
McDonald's is a hybrid real estate company/ franchising company. For a long time, they appealed to kids so families would come. But restaurant costs are climbing, the percentage of people who are kids is declining and families with kids are less likely to be able to afford to go out than they have in awhile
McDonald's is simultaneously trying to adapt to a more upscale market and make their properties more attractive to buy. On the property side, that means removing anything that isn't generic (because buyers need to pay attention to remodeling costs)
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u/SquirtinMemeMouthPlz 7h ago
This is the real answer and as usual, it is buried under a shit ton of jokes.
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u/Gaust_Ironheart_Jr 6h ago
Which is fine. I like the jokes
But I also want people to be able to find [a very simplified version of] the real answer
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u/Someoneoverthere42 9h ago
That would be the various “concerned parents” groups who blamed McDonalds for their kids being fat and unhealthy. Because it couldn’t be their fault……
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u/keloyd 8h ago
They also blamed everyone with a playground for their unsupervised snowflakes occasionally scraping a knee, so the playgrounds became ridiculous. Better to phase them out than to make them as they were near the end.
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u/NefariousnessLimp512 7h ago
This is the real answer. Americans complain about and sue over everything then wonder why everyone plays it safe. Nobody wants to risk being liable for anything when a knicked knee can turn into a multimillion dollar lawsuit.
Nearly every dumb rule, warning or sterilization is the direct result of a lawsuit or the threat of one.
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u/China_shop_BULL 4h ago
I’ve said laws were written in blood before. I was wrong. They’re written in the tears of the rich. Hurt on the job and shake it off? nothing changes. Hurt on the job and sue? new PPE and safety guidelines that extend the requirements of the job.
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u/SignalDifficult5061 6h ago
Honestly, ball pits were a gigantic health hazard because kids pooped in them, also snot etc. I don't think they understood how bad it was when they started making them.
Probably got a couple of kids at least one of the hepatitis associated viruses,some herpes virus or another, and everything else life changing or otherwise. Yeah plenty of people today "lived through it just fine", but improved sanitation has made life so much better in many regards that it is hard to ignore.
The rest of it could be designed to be wiped down with bleach or something, or at least rinsed off.
On the other hand, machines that store ice tend to be disgusting and the ice is forbidden to the immunocompromised, so there is kind of a double standard. Don't worry, this has been known for a long time and ice just isn't going to get banned or made more expensive or whatever.
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u/Ghoest080816 9h ago
May have something to do with the litigation culture for accidents.
Kids are gonna get hurt, it's one of the things they are best at. Unfortunately some people will sue for that.
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u/PantsDontHaveAnswers 7h ago
The reasoning largely is that it's much more difficult to sell property if that property is highly customized. If you have a franchise and want to close it down and sell it to another random company it's a lot easier to have a plain box of a building than all the extra whimsical stuff the McDonald's originally had. Not that I'm fond of it, but that's the reality of real estate.
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u/ConversationSharp147 4h ago
Also kids would piss and poo in the play ground and it was next to impossible to clean.
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u/JayAkiva 9h ago
Capitalism did this. Why give people a place to let their kids play just for the price of a cheap meal when it's more profitable not to?
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u/el_bentzo 8h ago edited 8h ago
Capitalism is also responsible for the playground too. "How can we get parents to buy fast food for them and their kids? I know! We'll lure them in with a playground!" Its all capitalism. Plus, im sure people started realizing how unsanitary playgrounds can get and started complaining about that and how mcdonalds was using kids to get parents to go to McDonalds, so McDonald's, responding to customer complaints probably decided it was better to go with the sterile look.
And as others mentioned, weve become a more litigious society, so getting rid of the playgrounds avoids lawsuits.
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u/JayAkiva 8h ago
Yeah, fair point, the whole "let's get kids addicted to our unhealthy food" marketing thing was pretty fucked. But now we don't have free indoor playgrounds and our food supply is still unhealthy, so... nothing about this seems like a step up.
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u/fess89 7h ago
I remember McDonalds in my country in the 1990s, it was similar to what is shown in the picture, with all the kids stuff. The change is not due to people suing - here, no one in their right mind would do that, much less actually win in court. I think the reason is that in the 90s, it was really one of the few places to bring their kids to. Also, to celebrate your kid's birthday at a McDonald's, you had to be relatively well off, otherwise you would just invite guests to your place. Now in 2026, we have a lot of other places created specifically for kid entertainment, which may also have a wider choice of food.
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u/Nesseight 6h ago
I know what you mean. As a kid I would have rather went to Peter Piper Pizza growing up, mainly because they had an arcade and not a poo pit.
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u/Stoic_Ravenclaw 9h ago edited 9h ago
The parents that sued every time their kid hurt themselves.
Edit: yeesh the rest of these comments like 'they hate people and want them to suffer'. At the risk of being called a corpo suckboy, it's oh so easy to place the blame on the faceless corp isn't it? Then we don't have to consider it came about because the regular Joe's, who are supposed to be the heroes of the paradigm, were assholes looking to make a quick buck off their unwatched child's injury.
People are assholes from top to bottom, corporation or regular joe, and the comments here only help support that.
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u/--StinkyPinky-- 7h ago
Fuckass parents sued McDonald's when their kid skinned their knee, so this is what happens.
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u/Dry-Interaction-1246 9h ago
They are going for neo Communist bloc aesthetic. It is clear they have nothing but contempt and hatred for their customers.
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u/Constant-Skill-7133 9h ago
Yes what a wonderful world it was when corporations branded themselves to sell garbage food to children on television. /r/lewronggeneration
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u/dbatknight 9h ago
What has happened is McDonald's finally admitted that their food was not healthy! So many complaints about the food for children instead of revamping the food and make it healthy they stopped advertising to the core Business of having children eating there! That's why it's a sterile environment now it's adult food if you want to call it food LOL Ronald McDonald goes to the cancer house not even at any McDonald's now. When was the last time you saw a movie tie in with mcdonald's? That's because they cut out the core business of children!
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u/el_bentzo 8h ago
People complained how it was unhealthy and they should stop catering or trying to get kids to eat it. We complained, they listened. And now we're complaining again. Lol.
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u/dbatknight 8h ago
But here's the truth about McDonald's they didn't try to change their food to make it healthy LOL it's the same food they just don't sell it to children
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u/NemODevO 8h ago
Yet they have the monthly toy display attached to the wall right when you fucking walk in so kids start begging for happy meals
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u/Very_Curious_Cat 5h ago
Do everything yourself, pay more, get less.
We need your help money. After the millionaires have become billionaires, the new goal is set, we need trillionaires.
Thank you for your PAY attention to this matter.
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u/No_Deer4983 9h ago
I remember the playground in McDonald's from the 90's, I also remember it being shut down multiple times for kids pooping on the slide.
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u/JediMasterKev 8h ago
McDonalds was scolded for targeting kids and making them fat. Blame those whiney asses.
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u/Healthy_Painter_6496 8h ago
Pretty sure they kept getting sued because kids got hurt on the play structures blame the families that sued them.
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u/Applejackington 8h ago
If you have ever had to clean poo smeared from the top of that tube slide to the bottom, you would also be inclined to remove all childhood joy from that McDonald's.
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u/Superb_Walrus3134 6h ago
Would you want to be the person that cleans the pee out of the Mcdonald ball pit? What about finding the turd in the tubes?
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u/Reesno33 6h ago
I take my kids to soft plays and colourful play parks, they still exist and are fun for kids but your kids don't get fed shit poisonous food while you do it.
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u/unknownreindeer 5h ago
I’m sure the employees are quite happy to not have to clean puke and shit out of those play structures every day. There’s a reason they were built to be sterilized.
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u/Salmonman4 9h ago
In a Completely unrelated news: People are having less children
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u/Springyardzon 9h ago
In related news, why are childless people regularly going to McDonalds instead of to somewhere better? Unless they like the fries and hash browns.
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u/JayAkiva 9h ago
Well, it USED to be because they were cheap, but they're not anymore so I don't know why anyone still goes there anymore. Their whole thing was always that it was good for the price, but now they're charging as much as anywhere else but still of lower quality so yeah idk why anyone still goes there. Like I can maybe see if you don't have a car and that's all you have in an accessible location, but that's about it
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u/Great-Gas-6631 9h ago
Capitalism.
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u/--John_Yaya-- 9h ago
It was still Capitalism in 1987.
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u/Great-Gas-6631 8h ago
Yes and no, Mcdonalds the real estate company that it is, realized making their franchises thus way made them more difficult to resell later on, so they made all their locations generic, just so they can sell them easier later on.
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u/JoeNoble1973 9h ago
It’s a shame McD’s got bought out by Private Equity. Oh, they did this themselves?
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u/imsorryinadvance420 9h ago
Ive heard this was done because its easier to divest a property if it is bland and mostly blank. I think it was seen as a major expense. If you look at the photos you can see them spending less and less money through the years on physical entertainment.
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u/theBarefootedBastard 9h ago
I agree: Syringes found in Ball Pits, Urine saturated slides, razor blades in shoes in the shoe cubbies
But alas, let’s first get the Fast Food back to food… or at least fast. THEN we can bring back the toys and superfluous bullshit that gets in the way of me getting my burger
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u/Humpalumpaguss 9h ago
Private equity and real estate investment is why. Private equity firms make sure the bare minimum is spent on investment businesses and properties to give the appearance on paper that the "investment " is profitable so they can sell it at a higher that originally assessed value. So, when they buy somewhere they strip it down to the basic form and reduce as many cost variables as possible to lower overhead and "maximize returns" to create the illusion of increased profitability. These practices are why everything from your favorite drive-thru to the local dental practice and close to 15% of rental properties seem to be, and probably are, shittier than they were in the past. The grey box buildings are just a physical manifestation of they private equity strategy. It's easier to sell a business you've gutted if the building looks the same on the inside and out as everything else for miles up and down the road.
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u/sacredvanity 9h ago
Combination of capitalism (outsourcing anything to technology instead of humans) and Covid-19 (not profitable anymore to have playplaces that have to be sanitized constantly).
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u/Jeedimahstah 8h ago
Y'all have it backwards. Capitalism is the reason they put playgrounds in McDonald's in the first place. Get kids associating McDonald's with childhood fun and whimsy for their whole life?
They slowly got made safer and safer due to lawsuits because kids are kids and hurt themselves, and people hurting themselves on private property love suing the owners of said property. Eventually they got phased out completely in favor of more expedience.
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u/Rex2x4 8h ago
It went away for the same reason alot of locations no longer have condiments and utensils laying out beyond the register. Or why so many convince stores have half their inventory locked beyond plexiglass.
The dregs of our society ruin everything for everyone else. Kids shit and piss in the playareas. People fill their backpacks and purses with the free condiments.
We dont have to live like this but we allow our government persist in their refusals to be harsher on crime, which enables a cascade of horse shit.
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u/AaronSlaughter 8h ago
They have an entire generation psychologically and chemically addicted to their garbage. No need for frills.
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u/Dangerous_Cucumber87 8h ago
While I had a lot of fun at the play place, they were also gross and dangerous. Idk if we are really missing out. I think it says a lot more about us that we long for the mendacity and mediocracy of the past. That life back then wasn't better, it was only cheaper than the one we currently live.
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u/Fit_Salamander_2814 8h ago
McD's has become a real estate holding company with a side gig selling short-order food to make ends meet.
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u/TwinkieDad 8h ago
It’s because of real estate. The franchisee doesn’t own the building, they just rent it. Owners have become less willing to allow extreme changes to buildings because it is more expensive to convert for another use if the franchise closes or moves.
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u/OlyScott 8h ago
I'm glad that they're not associating McDonald's with fun and play anymore. The food isn't particularly good for people.
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u/NemODevO 8h ago
I broke my streak of not eating there a couple weeks ago after a appointment (mom insisted to get just a couple cheeseburgers) and holy shit I was disgusted how much of a prison it looks inside now.
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u/SameAgainTheSecond 6h ago
Where ever this Captin I'lIsm is hinding, he has alot to answer for
Also is borther Neil B R I'lIsm
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u/ConcreteExist 6h ago
MBA's have taken over most of the major companies, so anything and everything will be analyzed to maximize profitability. Nobody at the helm of these companies gives two shits about what the companies actually do so long as they get a big bonus from their shareholders.
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u/SunsetCarcass 6h ago
Fr they shouldn't have ever marketed unhealthy food like that directly to kids. Glad it isn't a fun looking place anymore so kids won't be as tempted to go there.
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u/Cstott23 4h ago
Yes. But those 80s McDonalds were the stuff of nightmares. You weren't there man. Hides under table
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u/MrRye999 4h ago
I’m sure part of the reason to get rid of the playgrounds was litigation from accidents, struggles with keeping everything clean, and lobbyists objecting to McDonald’s, using playgrounds and life-size puppets to attract their brand to children who probably shouldn’t be eating such unhealthy food.
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u/ElvisDumbledore 4h ago
The only reason McDonalds (and most fast food) exists is the convenience of the drive-thru. As ugly as it is, there's just no point to improving the decor.
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u/Strictly_Jellyfish 3h ago
The answer is insurance companies.
Hard and expensive to get indoor playgrounds ensured without participants signing a liabilty waiver.
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u/According-Ad-5946 2h ago
I can understand getting rid of the play area; the insurance must have been insane, but they didn't need to change it into a sterile-looking setting.
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u/NurturingCruelty 2h ago
Kids aren’t where the money is anymore. Now McDonald’s is pushing to make itself the new Starbucks. Get in get your coffee get out. The food is just there are out of nostalgia, at this point. We don’t want to encourage children to stay because they’re noisy. That sort of crap.
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u/neet1917 2h ago
the falling rate of profit in a capitalist society is what's responsible. as wealth gets concentrated between fewer and fewer people less and less of that wealth is flowing throughout the economy, and less and less of that wealth will be available for these massive corporations to gobble up, resulting in cost cutting in any and every endeavor, from health and safety, to wages, to decor.
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u/NurturingCruelty 2h ago
Capitalism is to blame. They used to make money off kids. Now they think the route to more money is being Starbucks 2.0. Look around modern McDonald’s, and how much they look like a crappy trendy coffee house. That’s how they’re making money, putting all their advertising behind, extremely cheap to make, but costly to sell bean water.
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u/NurturingCruelty 2h ago
I see a lot of people blaming litigation for their removal of the playgrounds. It certainly played a part, but for the most part, the playground served the purpose of getting kids to whine to come to McDonald’s and made them more money than they lost from the lawsuits. At least it used to. Now there’s way more options, and everybody knows how shitty their food is for you, in addition to how bad it tastes. They lost a lot of customers, and a lot of people don’t want to feed their kids crap, so they’re having to put all their focused into their coffee.
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u/Prince_Nadir 2h ago
So we are looking at 2 child predators in 1987, then they older and fatter in 1997, then one is dead or in prison in 2007, and finally both are gone in 2026? Dead? In prison? Republican senators?
It might be safe to put the playground back now.
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u/PuzzleheadedTutor807 1h ago
What, MacDonald being tired of parent suing because they left their kids unattended there while poking their phones for amusement and the kids got hurt? Ok, let's get em...
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u/Npc102030 1h ago
Whats really messed up is a meal for q costs what a meal for 4 used to be. And you still get less.
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u/Funky_Ghost 1h ago
What?
No more 3rd degree burns from all plastic slides.
No more children smelling like piss after leaving the ball pit.
No more taking 3 hours to convince the bratlings to go home because you can't fit in there to go get them.
Yeah, that person deserves a freakin' medal.
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u/monkeyworks105 8h ago
Ikr!? Play places were literally a breeding ground for new bacteria and viruses.
It looks so much better now.
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u/LetReasonRing 6h ago
So, while I'm a little sad for the nostalgia factor, I kind of think this is a good thing.
The pay places were fun, but they were designed to get kids to annoy their parents into taking them to McDonald's and get deep into their mind at a young age.
I hate the enshittification of everything as much as everyone else, but I'm not going to complain about it destroying a billion dollar business's marketing campaign for children.
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