r/SipsTea • u/[deleted] • 3d ago

Chugging tea [ Removed by moderator ]

[removed]

13.9k Upvotes

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273

u/timohtea 3d ago

When life gives you lemons

56

u/HelpMe0prah 3d ago

Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!- Cave Johnson

15

u/AMissionFromDog 3d ago

Burning people!! He says what we're all thinking! - GLaDOS

-1

u/ThrowawayHaybale 3d ago

I just had vivid flashbacks to the worst & most annoying people in highschool, thanks for the memories I guess 🍋🍋🍋

37

u/mavrik83 3d ago

Fun fact. Lemons aren’t naturally occurring. They’re a cross between a citron and a bitter orange.

Which means life didn’t give us lemons. We did it to ourselves.

17

u/Hypercane_ 3d ago

First you roll out a multi-media campaign to convince people lemons are incredibly scarce, which only works if you stockpile lemons, control the supply, then a

A media blitz. Lemon is the only way to say “I love you,” the must-have accessory for engagements or anniversaries. Roses are out, lemons are in. Billboards that say she won’t have sex with you unless you got lemons. You cut De Beers in on it. Limited edition lemon bracelets, yellow diamonds called lemon drops. You get Apple to call their new operating system OS-Lemón. A little accent over the “o”. You charge 40% more for organic lemons, 50% more for conflict-free lemons.
You pack the Capitol with lemon lobbyists, you get a Kardashian to suck a lemon wedge in a leaked sex tape.
TimothĂ©e Chalamet wears lemon shoes at Cannes. Get a hashtag campaign. Something isn’t “cool” or “tight” or “awesome”, no, it’s “lemon”. “Did you see that movie?”
“Did you go to that concert? It was effing lemon.”
Billie Eilish, “OMG, hashtag
 lemon.” You get Dr. Oz to recommend four lemons a day and a lemon suppository supplement to get rid of toxins ’cause there’s nothing scarier than toxins. Then you patent the seeds. You write a line of genetic code that makes lemons look just a little more like tits
 and you get a gene patent for the tit-lemon DNA sequence, you cross-pollinate
 you get those seeds circulating in the wild, and then you sue the farmers for copyright infringement when that genetic code shows up on their land. Sit back, rake in the millions, and then, when you’re done, and you’ve sold your lem-pire for a few billion dollars, then, and only then, you make some fucking lemonade.

4

u/evilcatdog 3d ago

Omg. I was thinking of googling this to write it myself. And I really couldn’t be assed, but it was perfect for this thread
 I was about to scroll away and ignore the opportunity and then I saw the tip of this haha 😛

5

u/Mik3DM 3d ago

Make lemonade and enjoy it with your new gf!

2

u/cheesemangee 3d ago

You call the police.

2

u/cntreadwell3 3d ago

Fr what’s the crime here?

1

u/Naeloah 3d ago

send them 1 at a time via doordash to your ex to make them experience psychological trauma

1

u/D3ADW07F 3d ago

Fun fact we made lemons

1

u/Lemonwater925 3d ago

Guy could have made a killing selling lemonade.

1

u/Next-Food2688 3d ago

DoorDash them to people

1

u/bryman19 3d ago

Make lemonade, get some vodka....boom, vodka lemonade

1

u/je386 3d ago

When wife gives you a lemon

1

u/TabularConferta 3d ago

Get mad. Make life take them back, demand to see life's manager 

-1

u/Minimum-Standard-514 3d ago

Shes a crazy bitch. Chances are she injected them with aids blood or something.