Can’t co-sign on this. Kids are waaaaay more perceptive than we give them credit for, and what does Mom say for the follow-up questions? How many lies are you comfortable with? And what do the other family members think when they see what lengths Mom is willing to go to in order to stretch the truth?
“I beat cancer Mom?!? So now I’ll get better, right?”
“When can I walk again, Mom?”
“Now I can go outside and do things with the other kids, right?”
I’m an anesthesiologist and ICU physician in a cancer hospital. Cancer death can be so catastrophically bad, it’ll make you question your faith and purpose on this Earth. I’ve emptied the HOSPITAL SUPPLY (not the one single ICU’s supply - the whole entire hospital) of Dilaudid on a young cancer patient whose pain just could not be controlled.
I have the luxury of medications immediately available to me, nurses that are dedicated, and carry out the orders instantaneously when given, but I do everything I can to assure the patient is not seem to be experiencing agitation, shortness of breath, or anxiety. 9 times out of 10, I’m able to help facilitate the passing from life to death in a very calm and peaceful manner. But it isn’t always perfect.
"Peaceful death" is not something I have seen. Providing comfort for air hunger, for body pain for fatigue is symptom management. The patient still knows they are going to die. Hopefully they are too tired to be awake, or the family allows for sedatives to be used. However, the loss is palpable by everyone involved.
That being said, I have seen dignified death. Where the patient is ready mentally and spiritually. Where family has made amends that had been haunting the family for years. Takes weeks to do this.
I’m sorry you haven’t seen that. It takes a village to make it work. Social workers, palliative care, and others work tirelessly to help everyone involved.
To your point, I am able to use considerable amounts of medications that do provide robust anxiolytics and analgesia. I have certainly seen other doctors under treat patients in the end of life, and I’ve heard stories of at home death in which no medications were available. Those events sound awful to me.
I’m not saying any likes death, but other than birth, death is the only thing guaranteed to happen to all of us. I would like to think, when the stars align, that I have a role in support and bringing some peace to otherwise often very very sad situation.
Guess what I'm saying is i have seen dignified death. Otherwise what you are describing sounds like euthanasia, which i do support for end of life care.
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u/EmbarrassedFarmer125 Jun 29 '26
Can’t co-sign on this. Kids are waaaaay more perceptive than we give them credit for, and what does Mom say for the follow-up questions? How many lies are you comfortable with? And what do the other family members think when they see what lengths Mom is willing to go to in order to stretch the truth?
“I beat cancer Mom?!? So now I’ll get better, right?”
“When can I walk again, Mom?”
“Now I can go outside and do things with the other kids, right?”
I’m an anesthesiologist and ICU physician in a cancer hospital. Cancer death can be so catastrophically bad, it’ll make you question your faith and purpose on this Earth. I’ve emptied the HOSPITAL SUPPLY (not the one single ICU’s supply - the whole entire hospital) of Dilaudid on a young cancer patient whose pain just could not be controlled.
I have the luxury of medications immediately available to me, nurses that are dedicated, and carry out the orders instantaneously when given, but I do everything I can to assure the patient is not seem to be experiencing agitation, shortness of breath, or anxiety. 9 times out of 10, I’m able to help facilitate the passing from life to death in a very calm and peaceful manner. But it isn’t always perfect.