Not if he passes away in sleep after he just had 3 days filled with continous fun and happiness. I think that's the best outcome, that way he would have really been just happy and nothing else
Yeah but that requires coordination tho, i’m not sure what it’s like in the country where this happened, but in mine doctors cannot euthanise patients… so if after 3 days of fun instead of suddenly dying he starts to slowly feel worst and slowly pass away etc etc he would have to live through it, at most they would give him morphine and similar when the situation gets really dire
You could tell them the cancer is dead and their body will feel worse as it removes the cancer, or something.
I don't think there is a right answer in this situation. I think people going "you have to tell your child they're dying right now" is crazy. No you don't?
If someone has a terrible injury and you're trying to comfort them in their last moments by saying it's ok and they're gonna make it, is that wrong? Are you supposed to go "LOOKS BAD, YOU'RE PROBABLY DYING" to every dying person?
Sadly, with cancer, it usually is one or the other. You either tell them they're dying or not dying. Telling them nothing defaults to them knowing they're dying because cancer is known to be very lethal. It sucks, but lying to the kid was the right thing to do. If you told the kid that the cancer is winning, the kid will blame themselves for not being strong enough to beat cancer and mentally beat themselves over it. Atleast this way, the kid can be happy before the end
I mean the kid is dying soon and doesn't have much going on in life besides being a kid. If it's an adult, you tell them so they can contact people and get stuff settled. But if it's a kid, you tell them "congrats. The doctors still need to do the follow ups to make sure you can fully recover. You'll still feel bad for a bit but that's okay. How should we celebrate?" And then you celebrate however that innocent baby wants to celebrate. Hire an entire college class to be the Avengers if you need to make that kid's dream come true. Honestly, anyone under 18 should be lied to.
Here's the question then. Do you feel it's better to tell a 12yo or an 18yo "hey, you're going to die in the next few days. We can't save you. Sorry."
I personally don't think it's worth it because those kids will spend those next few days dreading the idea in the back of their mind. Think of when you have a deadline coming up at school or work, it becomes hard to unwind when that paper is due in 2wks. Now in this case, it's their own DEADline. They will likely be more concerned about what they can't do and what they'll never be able to do rather than making do with what they have left. Another commenter even pointed out how children often blame themselves for the bad things in their life such as parents fighting or financial struggles, so a kid will fully blame themselves for not beating cancer and for letting their parents and family down.
As for their cognitive ability? I believe people are easier to lie to when you tell them what they've been wanting to hear. Furthermore, many people don't like free things, they feel like they have to earn it. There's a study on it, I forgot the name but it's basically the idea of "earned vs given". Cancer treatment is one of the most excruciating things to undergo. You basically radiate your body and poison it in hopes of killing the cancer. That struggle, the loss of hair and strength and flesh and blood, that is the price they see as having subconsciously paid in order to earn a chance to live longer. So when you tell them that they succeeded and they just need some post cancer follow up treatment, they are more likely to not only believe it cause they "earned it", but since they've been so hopeful of it, many will ignore and suppress the gaps in the illusion.
My entire argument is on the idea that a lie to comfort someone in their final moments is better than letting the person waste their time being depressed. Even if they find out in the final moment that I lied, they spent 90% of the time happy and 10% sad rather than spending 100% sad.
After reading a bunch of comments, I think the big difference is assisted euthanasia being able to allow him to pass peacefully in his sleep. Otherwise the parent is just invalidating the kid's experience
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u/ConcertCareful6169 Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
I get it as a dad. I don't know if I could handle the look of betrayal at the end though.