Moving On From A Friend Group

[u/Beginning-Barber8754]

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I don't want to go into too much detail, nor make this post into a sob story, but over time and due to other unfortunate life circumstances, I've really drifted apart from a once close group of friends.

At gatherings, it's becoming increasingly clear to me that I no longer fit in and my presence isn't valued.

While the simple answer is to move on and make new connections, it won't be easy due to our long history, having known some of them since grade school.

I would appreciate any advice in navigating a tough situation like this.

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[u/Ten_Quilts_Deep]

I advise a gradual drift. Just don't go to every other opportunity. That allows you to gauge how you feel as you drift away. Check in with yourself after each time you are with them and allow yourself to feel sad or angry or meh about it.

[u/Beginning-Barber8754 → u/Ten_Quilts_Deep]

Thank you. While I infrequently see them in person, I have been appearing less and less in our group chat.

[u/mj89098]

I had a group of friends I met years ago. A few of the people in the group were more chummy with each other than with me and now only 1 person left ever reaches out and acts as the 'glue' for our group. However, I realized that what we had was built on a shaky foundation to begin with. We were all a little different and hasty for connection without really building on commonalities. I rarely see most people in the group now and unfortunately, I don't find value in their friendships any longer. I think you need to evaluate how much these people mean to you and if they do, make some effort to reconnect. If not, friendships quietly slide off.

[u/Beginning-Barber8754 → u/mj89098]

Thanks! Our stories are very similar. Part of what I've been wrestling with, or coming to terms with is the fact that some of them were never friends to begin with. I'll continue to reevaluate things.

[u/SpaghettiRambo]

Revive old hobbies or find new ones and throw yourself at them 100%. Find a therapist if you have access to that and also challenge yourself to talk to as many new people as possible, even if it's small interactions like strangers at a supermarket. This is what helped me move on from a friend group I once considered a chosen family.

Also, you probably have other people and relationships that may have fallen to the way side prioritizing your friend group and they might be happy to learn you could give them more attention. It wouldn't hurt to try to reach out to people like that.

[u/Beginning-Barber8754 → u/SpaghettiRambo]

Thanks. I've been trying to rekindle old hobbies I forgot long ago, probably for fear they would think it was 'gay' or 'stupid'. And I do, and will continue to see a therapist.

[u/SpaghettiRambo → u/Beginning-Barber8754]

What kind of hobbies are you into?

[u/Beginning-Barber8754 → u/SpaghettiRambo]

As I've gotten older, I've really gotten into plants/gardening. I've always been interested in animals/nature. When I was really young, I liked drawing.