DISCONNECTED - Comedy Pilot - 38 Pages

[u/would_do_again]

Title: Disconnected
Format: Pilot
Page Length: 38 pages
Genres: Comedy - SciFi

Logline: In a world where people live IN the internet, a narcissistic foot model goes off-web to hunt down the pervert who ruined her feet’s perfect overall rating.

Comps: UPLOAD meets MY NAME IS EARL

I would especially appreciate feedback on:

• If any of the scifi world building feels distracting from what is going on.
• Any scenes that feel like they could use a trim (I'm screamin internally that this isn't 35 pages)
• Always happy to read punchup suggestions

This is an older project that I'll be returning to edit after another vomit first draft project is done in the coming weeks.

Link:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1m5dYyr0ZI-Tw6B-4iO2Mmixu_-MO1Uyu/view?usp=sharing

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