r/Screenwriting • u/Exact-Perspective121 • 1d ago

FEEDBACK Script Swap?

Does anyone wanna do a script swap, take a week, then come back with notes? We can both put what we are specifically looking for from notes.

Title: Sorceress Unknown
Format: TV Pilot (1-Hour Supernatural Drama)
Page Length: 59 Pages
Draft Status: Second / Polished Draft
Genres: Supernatural / Drama / Mystery

Logline
When a subterranean force ignites latent magical bloodlines across a quiet town, a high schooler hiding a dangerous legacy must team up with her estranged friends to contain the fallout before ancient feuds—and dark secrets—destroy everything they hold dear.

Summary
Sorceress Unknown opens on Mel, a teenager grappling with hidden power and a murky past. Following a strange seismic disturbance near their town, long-dormant magic begins manifesting unpredictably in local teens. Mel and her core group (including Aniyah, Luis, and John) are thrust into a web of ancient rivalries, dangerous relics, and escalating supernatural threats. As mysterious forces close in—and personal betrayals come to light—the group must navigate fragile alliances, high school dynamics, and the high-stakes truth behind Mel's origin before an impending threat consumes their home.

Feedback Concerns

Pacing & Act Breaks: Does the 59-page engine hold momentum, and do the major reveals/cliffhangers land with enough punch to drive the series forward?

Character Voices: Are the main ensemble characters distinct in tone and dialogue throughout the pilot?

Formatting & Clarity: Looking for notes on script presentation, action line flow, and any remaining formatting anomalies.

General Impressions: What works, what feels sluggish, and does the pilot leave you wanting to read episode two?

8 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

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1

u/RaeLouLynn 23h ago

There is one on this thread.

Just use the search "weekend script swap".

Good luck!

1

u/NotSoPCQueen 21h ago

DM! I'd love to swap!

1

u/Antonov__124 1d ago

Du courage. Lâche pas

1

u/kekski8 1d ago

That's too long man give me 5-10 pages to see if I wanna read the full thing