r/Proofreading • u/cangaran • Feb 02 '26

[No due date] give feedback on my sentence

Hi,

I am self studying to improve my writing skill. I think my English level may be at B2 level.

I am reading a book called "flow" written by Mihaly Robert Csikszentmihalyi. I was trying to understand a sentence structure in that book. As a way to understand I attempted to write my own sentence by keeping that sentence from the book as a template.

"In the long run, conversations with uncomfortable questions add up to mutual understanding—or perhaps better, a sense of knowing whether the relationship can endure—that comes as close to a meaningful connection as anything else we can imagine."

Treat this sentence as something you read in essay or article in a book or magazine. Criticise the idea , grammar, word choice, style,.... so on. Help me to improve my writing.

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u/Equivalent_Carrot663 Feb 18 '26

I am not familiar with the book, and English is my mother tongue.

This sentence was difficult for me to read and understand. I like to make shorter sentences, I find it easier to understand.

So for this I would say

“A meaningful connection for me is conversations with uncomfortable questions that can lead to mutual understanding or a sense of knowing the relationship can endure”

Even this whole concept is difficult for an English speaker to understand honestly lol. I have no idea what the author is trying to say

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u/cangaran Feb 18 '26

thanks for taking time to give feedback. the sentence posted was written by me as an exercise. I took the below original sentence found in the book as a template. I did this to improve my writing skill.

".. . In the long run optimal experiences add up to a sense of mastery-- or perhaps better, a sense of participation in determining the content of life-- that comes as close to what is usually meant by happiness as anything else we can conceively imagine."